Return EngagementA 'Daria' Fanfic
by Steven Galloway
Summary: Daria, her family, and Jane welcome Darren back to Lawndale--with Krystal in tow. Chapter Three now up!
1. Default Chapter

> "Return Engagement"

> The third fic of the 'DF Continuum'

> By Steven Galloway

> SGall23241aol.com

> 'Daria' is the superb creation of Glen Eichler and Susie Lewis Lynn for MTV, which is a division of Viacom International Inc., and is written solely for the purpose of entertainment and/or enjoyment of the readers of 'Daria' fanfics, and not for profit, so please don't sue me, I'm not rich. This particular 'Daria' fanfic is copyright © 2004 by Steven Galloway, and may be used only with my permission, which basically means that you can freely distribute it as long as you use my name, and not change its contents. My thanks to such books as "The Daria Database" by Peggy Nicoll and the "Daria Diaries" by Anne D. Bernstein for providing valuable information on 'Daria', and to Mike Yamiolkoski's Daria Character Database, which is the ultimate website for knowing all of the 'Daria' characters ever used on the show.

**(Note to reader: This takes place almost a month after the events in "Sister Pact". For this fic, the episodes "Fizz Ed" and "Sappy Anniversary" have taken place.)**

**Chapter 1**

_(Scene One: Daria's room, late at night. Daria is wearing her Mark Twain nightshirt, propped up on her bed writing in her diary[?] Her thoughts are also "heard", which also double as scenes in her mind that we can "see")_

> From the "so-called" diary of one Daria Morgendorffer:
> 
> In two days, my brother will return to visit us here in Lawndale, the result of a bizarre, nearly one hundred and seventy-five year old tradition at Eastward College, where the faculty suddenly decides to go on a self-imposed, educational sabbatical for several days, and to sit around the place to discuss their various curriculums amongst themselves for some sort of reason.
> 
> Darren admits that he doesn't know why in the hell this all starts so soon near the beginning of the college year. He's heard of an old story about some kooky old chancellor, who suddenly decided to close down the whole damn school because he had to get home to tend the late summer crops on his farm, and it caught on in subsequent years with the people teaching under him, since they were farmers, too. Why couldn't they have simply moved their damn farms to the school, or better yet, have the students help them in their chores while teaching them? It would've saved a lot of time for all. Are the majority of professors there today still part-time farmers? Do they have backyard gardens to tend to?
> 
> Though I'll never admit it of course, I'm looking forward to seeing Darren again, just as I'm sure mom and dad and Quinn are. Jane, of course, has seen him twice since on her trips to and fro, so she doesn't count. Then again, it's not as if I'm running a number tally of some sort, so I might as well throw her into the mix, too.
> 
> I've gotten used to not seeing Jane almost every other weekend, since Tom's, um, "occupying" my time more. Ever since our little argument about his taking me for granted, or my perception that he was, we've gotten closer to one another. It's sort of weird, though, me having a "boyfriend", letting Tom into my life like this, exposing my thoughts and feelings about something to him--and about him. I guess it's kind of similar to when I speak to Jane (or to my family when I'm delirious) about a private topic, except it seems more personal with Tom, somehow.
> 
> Well, of course it's more personal. Tom's a guy who likes me. And I him. And those personal feelings have become so personal, they've become too personal to be written on this paper. Hence, those personal feelings are going to stay right up here in the ol' noggin head. For some reason, I hate using the word "noggin". Guess it isn't descriptive or complete enough for my writing, one of those words that's missing something somewhere.
> 
> Jane said that it would become easier and easier if I repeated "boyfriend" to myself whenever I looked deep into Tom's eyes. I responded that it would become easier and easier for me to deprive Darren of his girlfriend when I looked deep into her empty, open eyes as I dumped her cold, lifeless body into the abandoned landfill one of these nights. She stopped teasing me about Tom after that. Daria, you've still got it.
> 
> I still have Jane's company during the week at home and at school, where Ms. Li's gone into overdrive concerning Darren's visit. She's ordered a massive clean-up of the place by students, completely voluntary for real this time, per our little agreement over Darren's pending donation to the school. Jodie's headed the effort, of course, and with her well-known powers of persuasion, she had even gotten a surprisingly high number of suck--er, students to help in the cleaning effort in the name of school pride. Li's pulling out all the stops.
> 
> Poor Ms. Li. All of that preparation, only to have her ass nailed to the wall by Darren over her wreckless spending he found out about from Woo's little investigation of the school's finances after Jane's and my warnings. She's going to be in for a surprise, though Darren's said that it won't disqualify the school, he will demand some changes over the school's "unique" accounting techniques from her. If we weren't stuck in class, Jane and I would be in Li's office front and center, just for the pleasure of seeing her shocked face.
> 
> Moving on, it's been one hell of an active month since I've seen Darren the last time, hasn't it?:
> 
> First, William Appleton's body was found on a beach some twenty miles from here, and was subsequently cremated, according to his wishes from his last will and testament. How fitting for him in a way--the fire from the earth simply finished off his body, whereas the fire from the bowels of hell will simply finish off his soul, and from what I understand from some various religious literature, forever. All I can say is burn, baby, burn.
> 
> I don't know why, but I was a little surprised that Darren didn't ask for a DNA test, just to make sure it was him, even though the local forensics people said it was nearly impossible to get any samples because it was so badly decomposed, thanks to the saltwater the body absorbed, and that William Appleton's driver's license was found on him. I know he's dead, but still...
> 
> The hell with it. Maybe I'm being paranoid after that ass almost killed me and Jane that night. I suspect Darren simply wanted to quickly dispose of his uncle's body--and of his uncle's nightmarish memory. Can't say that I blame Darren for that.
> 
> The body being found also shut up any of those who had supported Darren's uncle, and had still held animosity against Darren and Constance, even causing a few more dissenters to put in for their severance pay, and quietly leave the company. I guess some of them had actually held out the hope that he was still alive, and would somehow ride in like the cavalry to save them all from my brother's and Constance's tyranny, or something. Oh well, at least my brother won't have to hear those nasty cracks about him having it easy anymore, even though he insists that he's unfazed by them.
> 
> Ahh, then there's Edward White, sans his beard and mustache, spotted in Chicago, thanks to that trap set up by Darren and Woo. White still somehow escaped, thanks to the bumbling efforts of the local Keystone cops. When Jane heard about it, she didn't let me or Darren forget it, and still hasn't, occasionally letting it playfully slip out about how right she was to me. I wonder if I should let my fist playfully slip out and knock that smug smirk off of her face? Nah, I couldn't do that. She'd probably tell me something like she was right about me finally getting fed up, and clobbering her. I don't think I could give her anymore satisfaction than what she already has, dammit.
> 
> Enough fantasy. Back to reality.
> 
> There's Uncle Jim, who's nearly going bonkers over still not finding aunt Millie, the same, though on a different level, for Darren, who seems to be resigned to not seeing her anytime soon. If Jane, our family, or his friends weren't there for my brother, I'd find myself beginning to get seriously pissed at Millie for doing this to herself, Darren, and everyone else. I mean, I know she was deeply hurt by Edward, and I can see her wanting to bury the pain someplace far off, but surely she'd know that she has people who care for her, and that almost two months should've been enough time to get over what he did to her?
> 
> Did I just write all of this because I'm actually worried about her? Yeah, I guess I did. Damn lousy, pesky concerns.
> 
> Oh, yeah. Krystal's coming with my brother too, mustn't forget that, oh no. Jane says that she's called practically everyday for Trent since Quinn and I left Darren's, and Trent's been talking, humming and singing about nothing but Krystal outside of the group's regular songs, even slipping her name in one of two of them at the Zen and at McGrundy's, where Mystik Spiral's getting much better gigs--and money. I guess their recent success on their tour has made the local owners sit up and take notice. They've gotten more requests to play at other local clubs, too.
> 
> Mom's basically turned them over to a promoter, though she's agreed to handle any legal matters for the guys that might come up--for a fee, of course. Despite quickly settling that lawsuit with the Weekly Blabber for $100,000, which surprised me because I had expected that it would go to trial, and would be for a lot more, leave it to mom to still squeeze out as much monetary blood as possible from her legal turnip.
> 
> Moving back to Trent, I've never seen him behave like this before, even with Monique. It's like he's becoming almost--giddy about Krystal. It's scary to me not just because of the strange way he's behaving, but also because all of this is beginning to quietly drive Jane nuts, and I'd hate to see her allow herself to lose it because of Krystal's little head games, especially in front of Darren. She was definitely not pleased to know Krystal was coming with Darren, much less staying under her roof to boot.
> 
> Mrs. Lane's spaced-out delight at having "Trent's little friend" staying over for a few days didn't exactly improve Jane's disposition, either. It was all she could do not to tell Trent and her mother off, which wouldn't have done her any good, of course. Oh, well. Maybe we can avoid Krystal while she's visiting. At least that's what we plan to do. God, I hope Darren doesn't ask her to come with us anywhere, even with Trent. The tension could kill us all.
> 
> Only yesterday, after yet another call from Krystal to Trent, while Jane and I happened to be in the Lane's kitchen, I could swear that I saw my friend grind her teeth so hard that she was gonna end up like that "Metalmouth" guy Trent told Jane, my dad, and me about a while back. She somehow forced herself to grin when a smiling Trent told us that Krystal said hello, then she quickly left, dragging me along in the process, up to her room. Did I mention that she snagged my left arm in an iron grip of death while doing so? That arm's blood circulation didn't return for an hour--seriously.
> 
> Still, despite everything, I've got to hand it to Jane about keeping her temper over Krystal. It must be hell for her. She keeps telling herself that Trent will either eventually see through Krystal, or will get bored with her. So far, a penguin has a better chance of being spotted in Lawndale than that of happening.
> 
> To try and force the penguin to appear against all odds, Jane, Tom and I have tried like hell to find any trace of Sesame, concerning "Sty Lark", a.k.a. Krystal. Unfortunately, we've had no success. It's like Sesame's vanished completely. Hell, maybe she's staying with aunt Millie. I'd be tempted to add Edward White in the mix if aunt Millie didn't hate his guts for what he did to her.
> 
> We did, however, find Rocco in the Zen last week at a table, literally crying his eyes out about Sesame, of all things. He said that he hadn't seen his "gurl" since we did. For a moment, I honestly thought that he missed her--until the first pitcher of beer and several giggling, pushed-up bra wearing, super-tight leather-dressed Goth "gurls" immediately cured his depression. Nothing like women and alcohol to cure the blues.
> 
> On that note about Krystal, I haven't heard anything more from her via Darren over Rory and Stacy. Quinn also said that she and Sandi haven't found anything to connect those two at Stacy's place, so far. Both of them decided to not let Tiffany in on their suspicions of Stacy, with Quinn giving her reason that "The fewer people who know this, the better." Yeah, right. Obviously they're afraid Tiffany'll accidently slip out something to Stacy in her own inane way, and more than likely, they're probably right. Tiffany's elevator doesn't go all the way to the top, side, or bottom. It just floats there in suspended animation.
> 
> In a way, it's actually good that Quinn's worried about Stacy like this. It'll keep her mind off of what happened with David Sorenson. After our little talk over it right after he left, it's obvious that she's coming out of it, albeit slowly, but I can still see that his rejection really hurt her. She really liked the guy, and he basically rejected her the way she's rejected her drooling male entourage for years.
> 
> Darren sounded a little peeved when he heard, but I think I was able to get him to ease up a little. Jane said she made Darren promise not to hunt David down when my brother visits. I'm sure she was only joking--I hope.
> 
> A while back, I probably would've smirked widely in satisfaction at the irony of all of this, but now, after getting a brother and a--boyfriend, I've actually found myself softening to my sister's feelings, of all things. I'm understanding what it is to have a relationship, and what goes into keeping it strong.
> 
> God, I can't believe I just wrote this down, too. Should I cross it out? Nah. I'll just build one of those "Mission Impossible" self-destruct devices instead, and jury rig it to my "diary". In the event Quinn or my folks try to sneak a peek at it, it'll dissolve into smoke when it's opened. Note to self: Contact Peter Graves on the Internet in the future, and get those damn instructions.
> 
> I've just finished my lead article on teen self-esteem for TeenLife magazine, and I'm about to send it off by e-mail. Save for any possible minor corrections in spelling, Mr. Juarez has given his word that he won't delete or edit out anything, that he'll leave it as it is. In other words, the magazine, or this first issue at least, is completely at my mercy. I could have inserted anything, and have gotten away with it. I'm in a position that any other writer would kill to be in, a veritable dream that has come true for me, with even the blessings of my fellow writers to boot.
> 
> So why was I not merciless in writing this? Why, though I was being honest with this article as I usually am when I'm writing? Was I seemingly holding back? Was it because Jane, my family, and Tom liked it when I showed it to them, and I couldn't let them all down by adding something nasty to it in the final rewrite afterwards? Quinn in particular liked it, which scared the hell out of me. I guess that part about only the "popular" crowd being able to wear the on demand fashions over the "unpopular" crowd won her over because from her point of view, it was so true.
> 
> Quinn and me in agreement over something. I think I'm gonna be sick. Another note to self: Puke in Quinn's room, if necessity demands it.

Daria stopped writing, and glanced down at what appeared to be a credit card on her bed, then sighed. After a moment, she began writing again.

> And then there's this. A Northolt Bank card sent to me this afternoon via a special courier from Darren for my 18th birthday, an "early present", since he's said that I can send him all the bills I pile up when I use it. It's the ultimate credit card, so secure that only a person who can produce their own driver's license or other legitimate I.D. can use it, and no one else. There's also the fingerprint encoded within the card's magnetic strip, which has to match the user's as a further security measure. Makes you wonder why all credit cards haven't gone down this route.
> 
> Oh, wait. That's right. Silly me. The stores and credit card companies need teens like Quinn or thieves (Is there any difference?) to wrecklessly use the regular cards to purchase gobs of stuff so the economy can be kept going (or so they all claim), and the store's and credit card company's pockets can be kept full from the compounded daily interest. Your plastic card at work. Only in America.
> 
> When Quinn first laid eyes on it, I could've sworn that I saw dollar signs in those eyes, and drool leaking from that mouth. My guess is that she'll be in here to lay on her charms soon to butter me up, and drive me bonkers. How I look forward to that...
> 
> Mom and dad immediately went into telling me how careful I had to be in using it, giving me the speech about "financial responsibility", and not "burdening my brother's budget with 'needless' things, even though he could easily afford them". Were they serious? They were giving the wrong advice to the wrong Morgendorffer daughter, since I have no intention of using this card ever, not even for a pizza--unless it's an absolute emergency, such as if I've become destitute and have to buy one, but that's it, I swear.
> 
> That Darren had gotten the card for me wasn't a surprise, since he was the one who practically badgered me into taking it, and had me to give my fingerprint to the local bank branch a scant week ago. I suspect the card was his way of trying to further make up to me his role in that little sting operation over my taking the job at TeenLife, even though I told him I was over it--that, and what Jane had told me about his feeling awful all over again about it when she returned to visit him. Dammit, why do I feel as if he shamed me into taking it?
> 
> I don't need or want his money. He's already doing everything else for me, Jane, and Quinn, isn't he? We'll be staying with him for a few years at his palace while going to college nearby. He's paying for mine and Quinn's educations in full, not to mention that he's already giving me some money with his monthly stipend, and has offered Jane a loan if she needs it for her artwork, not to mention her merely having him for a boyfriend has already done wonders for her artwork. We're practically swimming in his money and generousity.
> 
> Darren doesn't need to do this, right?
> 
> Right?
> 
> Dammit, dammit, dammit.

Suddenly, there was a tentative knock on the door. Daria looked up and smirked slightly while sitting up on the side of her bed and putting her "diary" in her strongbox, locking it. She quietly bent over and slid the box under her bed.

DARIA: (Thought v.o. as she sits up: Like clockwork...:) C'mon in, Quinn.

Quinn, dressed in her yellow nightgown with the pink bunny, entered with a slight frown, shutting the door behind her.

QUINN: (Walking over as Daria stands:) How'd you know it was _me_, Daria?

DARIA: Couldn't have been anyone else. (Reaches down, picks up, waves credit card:) Only _you_ could've been near enough to hone in on my card while it was lying out on my bed.

QUINN: (Rolls eyes:) Oh, ha-ha, Daria. (Pauses, uneasy shrug:) I, um, was just passing by your room, and wanted to know--

DARIA: (Interrupts:) --Whether or not I've checked to see how much is on my card over the Internet yet?

QUINN: (Frowns:) _Dar_--ia! That is _so_ not true! (Pauses to Daria's crossed arms and doubtful expression, sighs:) Okay, it _is_ true, I admit it! I'm dying to know!

DARIA: (Brief, uneasy expression:) Um, I haven't checked, and truth be told, I don't think I want to.

QUINN: (Surprised look, gasps:) Huh? Why not?

DARIA: Because I don't plan to ever use it, that's why not. I don't want to be tempted to see the credit limit on Northolt's website. I might suddenly become freaked out at the amount on it, or something.

QUINN: (Snorts, holds arms out:) Oh, _c'mooon_, Daria! I'm sure it's like, not that much anyway! (Pauses:) You're not at least a _little_ curious over how much Darren's put on your card? I mean, it's your duty to see how much it is, so, uh, you won't go over your limit in case you have to use it for something!

DARIA: (Deadpan tone:) Says the girl who goes through credit cards like water goes through a sieve.

QUINN: (Cocks eye and head:) Huh? A what? Isn't that a company that makes those eyelash curlers?

DARIA: (Sighs:) Never mind. (Pauses, adds:) Look, I'll make you a deal, since I suspect that I won't get any peace from you if I don't do this--if I show you what I have on my card, will you promise me that you won't tell any of your friends, and anyone else at school? The last thing I need is for Kevin to try and get me to buy him something stupid, like DVDs titled, "Vince Lombardi's Greatest Called Plays", and to sponsor a keg team party--

QUINN: (Mock-shocked look:) --Daria! Would _I_ do that? (Daria gives her a "You **would**" expression) Hey! I haven't said anything to anybody since I heard you were getting the card, right?

DARIA: Only because mom _and_ dad bribed you with their gold cards last week while practically begging you to keep your trap shut. (Pauses, more somber tone, look:) Quinn, I'm really serious, okay? I don't want this to get out--

QUINN: (Slowly smirks:) _We--ell_...what's in it for me to keep quiet, Daria?

DARIA: (Narrows eyes:) "Me", as innnn...?

QUINN: (Shakes head slowly, mock-admonishing look, playful tone:) Oh, Daria, Daria, Daria--must we play this game?

DARIA: (After a moment:) You're really gonna shake me down by getting me to give you some money off of my card, aren't you? (Pauses:) Wasn't it enough that you got some stuff off of our folk's cards?

QUINN: (Smacks mouth, rolls eyes:) Geez, Daria, what's the big deal? We agreed to keep getting money from mom and dad when they wanted us to do things we didn't like, remember, just not to Darren! Besides, it's not like we haven't done this before between us, you know...

DARIA: True, but we did our "business" in this way before Darren cropped up on the scene. ("Sighs":) I guess you haven't really changed, huh?

QUINN: (Frowns:) Now, wait a minute! I have too changed!

DARIA: Oh? How? You're basically wanting me to pay you to keep your mouth shut about my card, more than likely wanting a certain percentage off of it after I check the amount. (Adds, wry expression:) I wonder what our brother would think about what you're attempting to do...

QUINN: (Peeved, narrows eyes:) Don't you _dare_ bring Darren into this, Daria!

DARIA: (Casual tone:) And why not? Should I agree to pay you a certain fee off of my card to keep quiet, and don't think for a second that I'm actually considering it, the bills will hit Darren's desk, since he's paying them. While it's likely that he wouldn't ask about my direct ATM withdrawals, he'll probably wonder to himself why in the hell I'm taking out so much money, since it's not exactly something _I_ would do. He might even ask me sometime down the road what's up.

QUINN: (Pauses, now looking uneasy:) Um, d'you think he'd really do that? (Wide-eyed, gasps:) You wouldn't _tell_ him why you're really doing it, would you?

DARIA: (Cocked eyebrow:) What do _you_ think? That I'd keep quiet about what _you're_ doing, taking money that's supposed to be mine to spend, just for me? Get real. The moment our brother would ask, even hinting indirectly what was up, I'd tell him everything, you can count on that, and you'd _know_ he'd come straight to you, telling you how disappointed he is--

QUINN: (Groans, interrupts:) --Okay, okay! I get the message, and stuff! (Bites bottom lip, sighs, slumps:) I promise not to say anything to anybody about your card at school. Not to Sandi, not to Stacy, not to Tiffany, to nobody.

DARIA: (Looks her over, suspicious expression:) Hmmm...I see your fingers aren't crossed, the same for your toes. How about your heart--?

QUINN: (Frowns:) Daria! I _said_ I wouldn't tell anybody, and I really meant it! (Looks off, softer tone:) When I think about it now, I know Darren would probably _really_ be mad at me if I told someone. (Adds:) I--don't wanna have that happen. I know he's put a lot of confidence in me about stuff...

DARIA: (Takes this in, long pause. It appears to her that Quinn's actually sincere, for a change:) Um, fair enough. (Sits down at her desk, turns on her computer and monitor, small smirk:) Anyway, as an added security measure, keep in mind that I know where you sleep. It's all just a simple matter of my pillow in the middle of the night, your perky little face, and it's onto oblivion from there.

QUINN: (Sneers, slight smirk as she looks over Daria's shoulder:) I'll, like, keep that in mind, and stuff. (Pauses, adds with a pout:) Still, I wish Darren could've given _me_ a Northolt card like you! _I'm_ responsible!

DARIA: (While typing up the Northolt site:) Yeah, responsible like a fox guarding a henhouse. (Quinn glares down at her) Besides, Darren's told you that you'll get your's when you're 18, you know, and you're already receiving that monthly stipend from him like me, not to mention that mom's won her little surprise settlement with the _Weekly Blabber_--? Why, you'll have a 100,000 more reasons to nag her for stuff between now and then.

QUINN: (Snorts:) You heard mom's declaration. (In a mock-tone of Helen:) "This money is going to be invested for the future". (Rolls eyes:) _Who's_ future? Her's and dad's? By the time they'll get to spend it, they'll both be so old, they won't know what to do with it 'cause they'll be so senile, and stuff!

DARIA: (While still typing:) If push comes to shove, at least they'll have enough money to pay somebody to care for them in their later years, though it wouldn't surprise me if our brother got them to live under his palatial roof instead. (Pauses, narrows eyes:) Why, he'd become the new Jock Ewing. (Continues typing)

QUINN: (Makes a face:) Ew! Jock straps are _so_ unfashionable! (Daria gives a tiny eyeroll, continues typing)

DARIA: (Stops:) Okay, it's asking for my card's number, then it wants me to create a password. (Turns to, looks up at Quinn:) Turn around.

QUINN: (Frowns down at her:) Don't you trust me, Daria?

DARIA: (Smirks:) Of course not, even after our little agreement over your keeping quiet about my card. This is something altogether different. (Quinn narrows her eyes) Turn around.

QUINN: (Hard sigh as she turns completely around:) I don't see what the big deal is, you know. I couldn't use the dumb card, anyway, only you could!

DARIA: (Types:) This is true, but I wouldn't want you to get online at any time, and use my password to see if I had brought anything on my, now to you, suddenly "dumb card". That's _my_ business.

QUINN: (Still facing away:) I thought you said you weren't gonna buy anything!

DARIA: I don't plan to, but in the event some serious emergency comes up, I might not have any choice if I'm really short of cash on the spot. Unlike _you_, I plan to be frugal with my money.

QUINN: (Snorts, looks halfway around:) Huh, no surprise _there_. (Adds, realizes:) Besides, I'm more careful with my money these days, or have you forgotten?

DARIA: (After a moment:) No, I haven't. I have to admit that you _have_ been somewhat frugal, too. (Pauses, adds, wry smirk:) I've sneaked around and have seen those deposit slips concerning your savings account--

QUINN: (Deep frown, interrupts, cuts eyes over:) Hey! You have the nerve to look through _my_ personal stuff, but then I can't look at what you have on your card? That's not fair!

DARIA: (Continues typing, slight frown of her own:) Don't blame _me_ if you leave your slips lying around on your bed for everyone to see, and you have your door wide open! If I were you, I'd get a safety deposit box! (Quinn fumes at this, glares at the opposite wall. Daria relents, softens tone:) Look, I haven't seen you buy anything, other than getting some stuff off of our folks. (Pauses, cocks an eyebrow:) So how _do_ you explain the gold cards and the $100,000 whining?

QUINN: (Evil grin:) Call them "financial rewards" for my good behavior, (adds quickly:) that's what I meant by sayin' I had changed, you know. (Daria shows a brief smirk in admiration as she continues to type) I think I deserve it. (Pauses, cuts eyes to her right:) You wouldn't even buy a good book with your card, or something, if you saw one in a store, at least?

DARIA: (Stares at the screen, sits back, turns pale:) Unless that good book costs _$60,000_, no, um, not likely--(Quinn turns around, stares over Daria's shoulder in wide-eyed shock)

At that moment, a shocked Helen and Jake suddenly barrelled into Daria's room, looking over her's and Quinn shoulders as well. Quinn frowned in mild revulsion as Helen and Jake practically squeezed her in. After an instant, Quinn broke free, now looking over _their_ shoulders.

HELEN: What in the world?! That much money's on your card, Daria?!

JAKE: Wow! $60,000 smackeroos, with up to $20,000 to draw out for cash at a bank, and up to a thousand at an ATM!

DARIA: (Perfectly calm of course as she turns around, looks up at them:) Yes, you may enter my room, Mom, Dad. (Pauses:) How long were you two listening at my door, if I may inquire? (Adds, glances at Quinn uneasily, and vice-versa:) And um, what did you hear?

HELEN: (Red-faced with Jake, looking guilty:) Uhh, er, just a little bit, sweetie. Er, since we're not as busy on our jobs as we used to be, we, ah, just decided to suddenly come up here and spend some time with you, right, Jake--? (Motions head)

JAKE: But honey, you said that you wanted to see if Daria had checked out her card, yet--(Helen slaps his shoulder) OW! (Suddenly gets it, nods with his goofy grin:) Uh, yeah! She's right, Kiddo! We didn't even hear about Quinn making that crack about our old age your mother's gonna punish her for! (Quinn moans. Helen sighs. Jake frowns:) No, wait--we _did_ hear that--(glares at Quinn:) dammit, Quinn!

QUINN: (Uneasy look, chuckle, inwardly relieved that's **all** their parents heard:) Uh, look, it was just a tiny little joke, Mom, Dad--

HELEN: (Wicked, slow smirk, which causes Quinn to give a massive eyeroll:) We'll talk about that "tiny little joke" later, Quinn. (Turns to Daria, keeps smirk:) Not to mention _your_ little crack about your father and I needing someone to take care of us in our old age, sweetie. We've still got a very long ways to go before we reach _that_ stage. (Daria gives a brief snort) Honey, your father and I know $60,000 is a tremendous amount of money for you. We should've asked Darren how much he was planning to put on this card. If you can't handle it, I'm sure we can tell your brother to lower it--

DARIA: (Turns off her computer and monitor:) Nahh, I--(frowns, pauses, rises from her seat, turns to them:) _Waaaitaminute_. What do you mean, "_If_ I can't handle it?" You both just gave me a lecture about financial responsibilty, and now you're telling me that you don't believe that I should have this much money because you think I'll suddenly go on a spending binge that'll make Quinn's look pale in comparison?

QUINN: (Grins wickedly:) Yeah, as _if_--

JAKE: (Waves hands with Helen, wide-eyed:) No, no, Kiddo! It's not like that at all--

HELEN: (Frantic nod:) Your Father's right, sweetie! We know you're responsible, really! It's just that it never occurred to us that your brother would put that much on your card! (Glances at Jake, who nods:) We figured at least--(pauses, shrugs:) oh, a thousand dollars or two--

QUINN: (Crosses arms, disdainful look:) Oh, _please_. Nothing less than at least $5,000 in _this _day and age, yeah, maybe--

JAKE: --But _60,000_ bucks?! That's a whooole lotta moolah, Daria!

DARIA: (After a moment, nods:) Yeah, it is. I admit it, you're right. However, now when I think about it, Darren wouldn't put that much on my card if he didn't think I could handle it.

QUINN: (Nods:) Daria's got a point, Mom, Dad. (Daria drops an eyebrow in suspicion. Quinn shows a small smirk:) He probably knows Daria's the type who wouldn't spend a penny on anything, save for the boring, drab stuff that people like her use. (Shrugs:) You know, you are what you buy, and stuff.,.

HELEN: (Mild frown, admonishing tone:) Now, Quinn, I don't think you should say that about your sister--

DARIA: (Returns the smirk, interrupts:) --Normally, I'd say that you've actually gotten me pegged, Quinn, but just for that, I think I'll break out my card, and use a few thou to hire a hitman to take you out, and I don't mean to Chez Pierre. (Quinn licks her tongue out)

JAKE: (Wide-eyed:) Helen! Did you hear that?! Daria's gonna rub out her sister! (Frowns:) Dammit, Daria, there's no way I'm going to allow you to--

HELEN: (Massive eyeroll, interrupts:) --JAKE! Get a grip! Daria's only joking!

JAKE: (Snaps out it:) Huh? (Looks between them all, embarassed, grins:) Heh--of course! I knew that! Good one, Kiddo!

HELEN: (Sighs:) Sweetie, you'll be 18 in a week-and-a-half, so we guess you're close enough in age to make your own decisions. If you feel that you have no problem with this amount on your card, then your father and I won't say anything more about it, right, Jake?

JAKE: (Thumbs up:) That's right, Daria! Darren must really trust your judgement to give you that much!

DARIA: (Pauses, ponders this:) Um, yeah. I guess he does. ("Yawns":) Well, if there's nothing else, I think I'll turn in for the night. Gotta get that sleep for school, you know. Can't afford to miss Mr. O'Neill's exciting class, and all that.

HELEN: (Glances at Daria's alarm clock. It only reads "9:30":) Um, of course, dear. (Smirks:) Oh, and Quinn--?

QUINN: (Cocked eyebrow:) Yeah, Mom?

HELEN: (Keeping the smirk:) Your sister's right. You _do_ require a safety deposit box for your deposit slips, because _I_ saw one as well the other day on your bed while I put your folded clothes up. (Daria shows a slight smirk, while Quinn rolls her eyes) First thing tomorrow, I'll get you one with your own key, okay?

QUINN: Um, okay, Mom. (Quickly adds:) Just make sure I get _both_ keys to it, alright? (Glances at Daria:) I don't want _some_ people trying to look in it, if you know what I mean...

HELEN: (Like Jake, mildly chuckles in response to Daria's now-glaring at Quinn:) Of course, sweetie. Goodnight, you two. (Leaves)

JAKE: (As he leaves behind her:) Yeah, goodnight, Kiddo, Princess!

DARIA: (Deadpan:) Goodnight. Sleep tight. Don't let those hungry bedbugs bite.

QUINN: (Shudders:) Ew! Icky bedbugs?!

DARIA: (Turns to her:) Don't worry, it's just a play on words--(adds, tiny little evil smirk and "menancing" tone:) unless you don't change your bedsheets on a daily basis, that is. Then, it's open season on you with those _tiiiiny_ little dust mites, also known as the "bedbugs", that'll prey on your body during the night, _slooowly_ devouring your delicate, pink skin as you sleep--

QUINN: (Becoming nervous:) Well, um, I've just changed my bedsheets tonight, so I'm not worried--

DARIA: (Looks up, mock-ponders, back in her normal voice:) --Or is that _when_ you change your bedsheets? Now, I'm not quite so sure--

QUINN: (Now uncomfortable:) Uhhh, I think I'll just leave--

DARIA: ("Frowns" in deep thought:) --Maybe it's a combination of both, upon further consideration--(Quinn bolts from the room into her own, slamming her bedroom door. Daria shows a rare grin as she quietly shuts her own door:) Yep, Daria, you've _still_ got it. Knowing Quinn, she'll probably be either snoring on the floor in her sleeping bag, or lying on a bare matress come the morning. I really should stop with the mind games on her--(pauses:) _nahhh_.

Daria paused, then looked down at her card.

_$60,000.__ Also $20,000 I could draw out of the bank immediately. I could buy just about anything with this, if I wanted. Perhaps a new car to drive around town in. Nah. I usually can either drive mom's or dad's in a pinch, or ride with Tom in his when I don't need to walk. Lawndale's not exactly the size of New York City. Besides, if I bought one, Quinn would pester me to lug her and her fashion zombie buddies around. I couldn't take that, no matter what..._

_Books?__ Sure, I could buy those, but then, Darren's got a whole load at his place that I could read anytime. I was gonna get some anyway from him, since the Car--Lawndale County board of commissioners last week had cut the county funding for that proposed new library building to replace the old one we currently have. I guess they needed the extra money for the really important things, like that new practice field for __Lawndale__ High's football team I read about in the Lowdown..._

_Hm__.__ I'll definitely need some new clothes for college, though I'm in no hurry to purchase any, of course. I can imagine Quinn'll have a conniption when she falls all over herself on insisting on helping me to buy some so she--_

Daria slapped her forehead with her free hand.

**_AGH! _**_Dammit__! I can't **believe** I'm doing this! I just said that I wouldn't buy anything with this damn card, and now here I am considering buying everything my greedy little heart desires! I'm becoming Quinn! Nice work with the personal ethics, Morgendorffer. Repeat to yourself: I will not use this card. I will not use this card. I will not use this card..._

Daria paused yet again, then looked down at her card again. This time she slightly smirked.

_Except for pizza when Henri doesn't fix it, and I'm out with Tom or Jane. Yes, definitely for pizza..._

The next instant, her room phone rang. Daria casually tossed her card on her bed, and began to make her way to the phone. Before she could reach it, it stopped ringing.

DARIA: (Thought v.o.: Either somebody here has already gotten it, or it was a wrong number, and the other party hung up, or the phone suddenly's got a mind of it's own, and doesn't want me to answer it. If it's the phone, I'm outta here.)

Immediately, there was a quick knock on her door. Almost as immediately, a frowning Quinn opened the door, and walked in.

QUINN: It's Jane on the line. (Adds:) I just spoke to mom about those bedbugs, dust mites, or whatever, and she said there was no such thing.

DARIA: (Tiny Mona Lisa smile:) Actually, there is. I just told you a half-truth about them eating your skin while you sleep. In a way, they really _do_ eat your skin, but only when it's dead and fallen off your body, and it doesn't have to be while you're sleeping. They're so tiny, you really can't see them. Practically just about every home in the world has them. The mites travel on visitors to other homes who might not have them, so more than likely, _we_ have them, since your friends and Jane show up here often, or we go to their homes. (Quinn stares at her uneasily for a moment, then glances around as if she's trying to see them) You can look it up on your laptop for further info, if you don't believe me.

QUINN: (Now briefly smirks after a moment, snorts:) Real funny, Daria, playing with me like that. (Crosses arms, small smirk:) Maybe I _should_ tell a "half-truth" to the whole school about your having that Northolt card, even risking Darren getting mad at me.

DARIA: (Showing no emotion, but in a subtly dangerous low tone, deadpan:) Then how about the _full_ truth from me, Quinn? Darren's anger would be the _least_ of your worries if you open your mouth. (Narrows eyes:) I'll break off and gnaw on your bones if I even _hear_ the word "Northolt" from any of our classmates at school, whether or not it's directed at me.

Quinn stared at her, wide-eyed for an instant, then quickly left, slamming Daria's door. Daria smirked. _Mission__ accomplished. _She went beside her bed, and picked up her phone.

DARIA: I got it, Quinn. (There is a click from the other end) Hey, Jane. (Jane, dressed in her usual bedclothes, appears via a "split screen". She's at her canvas in her room, holding her cell phone in her left hand, while painting with her right one. We can't "see" what it is she's painting, for the back of the canvas is only shown.)

JANE: Yo! Did I catch you at a bad time, amiga?

DARIA: I just insulted my sister by playing with her mind, sooooo, no.

JANE: (Snickers:) Figures. (Light, casual tone as she paints:) So, did you check the credit limit on that Northolt card you got today yet?

DARIA: Yeah, as a matter of fact, I--(pauses, drops an eyebrow:) hold it. I didn't tell you yet that the card came in this afternoon. How'd you know?

JANE: (Pauses painting for a moment, shrugs:) How else? Darren told me over the phone when he called earlier that he expected the card to be there today. (Continues painting)

DARIA: Oh. Well, yeah, I checked.

JANE: (Amused grin:) What did you think about that $60,000 on it?

DARIA: (Sighs:) You knew about _that_, too?

JANE: But of course. Darren wanted you to be surprised by the amount.

DARIA: (Picks up the card:) Oh, I was "surprised", alright. So was the rest of my family.

JANE: Bet Quinn fell all over herself at the amount, huh?

DARIA: She figuratively did a 360 degree backflip, along with my mom and dad. They both thought that my brother would have put far less on it--(pauses:) like me. This kinda blows my mind.

JANE: (Cocked eyebrow:) It does? Why? It's basically a birthday present, right?

DARIA: (Sits on her bed:) It's more than just a "birthday present". It's no different than if he had given me $60,000 outright, Jane. Darren didn't have to give me this card, just a good book, or something. I would've been more than happy. (Pauses, slightly pained expression:) Um, I think it had something to do with his still feeling guilty, you know, about that "sting" he did to me to take the writing job.

JANE: (While still painting:) Annnd, you think this is his way of paying you back, sort of a "bribe", is that it?

DARIA: (Slight frown and irritated tone:) Well, when you put it like _that_--

JANE: Daria, even though Darren might be kinda sorta doing that, what's the big deal? You've taken money from your folks and Quinn, either when they've done something to you that you didn't like to get you to forgive them, and in Quinn's case, for blackmail, or to get you to do something that _you_ didn't like. How's Darren any different?

DARIA: (Tries to rationalize this, for Jane's hit the nail on the head here. Pauses:) Look, Jane, Darren's--well, Darren's a guy who I can get money from anytime, right?

JANE: Right. (Pauses:) And--?

DARIA: (Looks off for a moment:) And thus, he's no, um, challenge for me to hit him up for moolah, as opposed to my parents. Quinn and I even made an agreement that we wouldn't try to finagle anything from him, just our folks. After all, he's already giving us money, right? (Uneasy shrug:) It would be too easy, like taking _Waif_ from a Quinn.

JANE: (Slight frown:) Amiga, give me a break. I don't buy that B.S. attempt at logic anymore than you do. I think you simply want a brother without any strings attached, as opposed to getting into those usual monetary games with the rest of your family. Darren's paying you some attention, some _real_ attention as a brother, but he's trying to do it in a genuine way. You merely wish to return the favor by simply being a sister to him with no strings attached, in this case, his moolah.

DARIA: (Stands, pauses at this for a moment, slightly smirks:) Dammit, am I _that_ obvious, Dr. Lane?

JANE: (Smirks:) I'm afraid so, my beleaguered patient. (Pauses, uneasy look:) Ah, are you planning on turning down Darren's card because of the amount, or asking him to lower it? He seemed to be really happy that you accepted it.

DARIA: (Glances at her credit card, ponders:) Nah. (Jane looks relieved) My dad of all people said something that really kinda got to me. He said that Darren must really trust my judgement to have put that much money on the card.

JANE: (Quieter tone:) I think we both know that's obvious. (There's suddenly a click on the line) Hey, is somebody trying to call you? I don't think that's from my end--

DARIA: Hm, I think you're right, Jane.

JANE: (Nods:) More than likely, it's probably Darren, wanting to find out your reaction to his gift. He said that he wanted to call you before he and Curtis had finished their studying, and just before he went to bed. I'll get off the line so you can talk to him, Daria. See you in school tomorrow. (Smirks:) Try not to gush too much while you're thanking him for his incredible generousity.

DARIA: (Deadpan:) Jane, this card _can_ pay for your funeral in full, remember that.

JANE: (Chuckles:) That will be taken under advisement, amiga. Later. (Clicks off her phone. The "split screen" goes to Daria's side)

Daria clicked off her phone, then on.

DARIA: Hello? (Slight smile:) Hey, Darren. (Pauses:) Yeah, I just got the card in today. (Pauses, smirks:) _Oh_ yeah, I saw the amount on Northolt's website, um, thanks. (Quickly adds:) Now I can buy that missile and launcher I've always dreamed of to destroy Lawndale...(chuckling is heard from the other end)

_(Scene Two: Casa Lane, Jane's room. Jane, having just tossed her cell phone on her bed, has immediately resumed her painting, this time narrowing her eyes, as if she's in deeper concentration, which she is)_

After a moment, Trent, carrying what appeared to be a garbage bag in the hallway, stopped at Jane's open door. He cocked an eyebrow at her painting, sat his bag down in the hallway, and quietly walked in, going over to her from behind.

TRENT: (Looking over her shoulder:) Whoa. It looks like you've put in some pretty intense work there, Janey.

JANE: Thanks, Trent, I--(suddenly becomes wide-eyed, turns around, panicked, spreads arms:) AGH! What in the _hell_ are you doing in my room?!

TRENT: (Taken aback for a moment:) Huh? Uhh, your door was open, and I just walked in. Sorry, I didn't know you didn't want to be disturbed.

JANE: (Glances over at her door, thought v.o.: Dammit, he's right. I should've had it shut. Nice Kevin-like move, Lane. You should've just painted it in Trent's room.:) Oh. Um, that's okay. (Quickly adds:) Look, about this painting--

TRENT: (Slight smile, gently interrupts:) --It's okay, Janey. I'm not angry at you for doing it.

JANE: –-I did it because-—(pauses, for it's finally registering:) hah? You're _not_ pissed that I did this? (Jane steps aside, motions with her arm. We now "see" that it's a painting of a terrified Krystal, who's lying on her back, spread eagle, on the bare ground in an unknown mountain range. [She's fully clothed, sorry!] Her arms and hands are tied to wooden stakes. She is staring up, wide-eyed, and mouth open. Krystal is also engulfed in a huge shadow, as if something above is about to fall on her—and it is. At the top of  Jane's canvas, there is a just a bit of what appears to be the bottom of a huge, spiked boulder.)

TRENT: (Shrugs, chuckles, coughs:) No, I'm not. You're an artist, and this is how you express yourself, and stuff, like me with my music. We have to have outlets, or something, or another. Besides, I expected that you'd do this.

JANE: (Utterly dumbfounded expression:) You DID?

Trent wordlessly smirked and nodded. He went over to Jane's bed and sat down on the edge. Trent patted a spot beside him gently, motioning Jane to sit. A still-dumbfounded Jane walked stiffly over, and quietly sat down. She looked over at Trent warily.

TRENT: (After a moment, very low tone:) Janey, I know that you don't really like Krystal. I know you've been kinda trying to be nice around me when I say Krystal's name, and stuff. (Jane stares at him, stunned) I think I sorta saw it right when I first started to see Krystal, and I think I know why.

JANE: (Swallows hard:) You—-you DO?

TRENT: Sure. You think if things get anymore serious between me and Krystal, that she's gonna replace you somehow in my life. Janey, no matter what happens between Krystal and me, you and I will always be brother and sister, that won't change. We've got a bond that nobody will ever break.

Jane merely continued to stare at Trent in disbelief, not knowing what to make of this, both by her brother's surprise reaction to her painting, and his remarkably poignant and touching remark about their sibling relationship, even though his reasoning about her and Krystal was obviously off the mark. Jane decided to go along with this--for now. _No need to tell __Trent__ what I really think about Krystal, since I can't prove it at the moment_.

JANE: (Slight smile, quieter tone:) Uh, well, I--guess that's ri--(pauses, realizes, slight frown:) hey, waitasec! Are you saying that I feel sort of _threatened_ by your having Krystal as a girlfriend? That she'd somehow "replace" me? Because I'm not, you know!

TRENT: (Pauses, confused look:) Ummm, you're not?

JANE: (Stands, throws arms open:) Of course not! I wasn't like that when you started to go out with Monique, (adds under her breath:) at least at first. (Through subtly gritted teeth, resumes her tone:) I mean, if you're happy with--_her_, then I'm happy for you!

TRENT: (Thinks, narrows eyes, rubs chin, stands:) Hmmm. (Pauses:) Then why _did_ you paint Krystal like that?

JANE: (Wide-eyed, thought v.o.: Oh, poopie. Me and my big mouth. Think, Lane, think!) (Phony smile:) Beeecause it's my attempt at a joke about her, that's why! (Trent gives her a **very** odd look) See, I'm just razzing Krystal by painting this, 'cause, ah, I'm gonna give it to her as a welcome gift! Yeah, that's it! A freakin' welcome gift! (Thought v.o.: Oy.)

TRENT: (Narrows eyes:) Hmmmm. (Shrugs, small smile:) That's pretty cool, sis. (Looks at painting again:) I think Krystal's gonna like her gift.

JANE: (Thought v.o.: I **was **planning to hang it up in here, and look at it to cheer myself up whenever I got depressed, but, what the hell.:)  I'm sure she will, bro. (Thought v.o. wicked smirk: I can always paint another one, and now when I think about it, this could send a blunt warning message to Krystal if she hurts Trent, too…)

TRENT: (Starts to leave:) Well, I'm gonna go, Janey. I just finished cleaning my room to get it ready for when Krystal visits us, and after I take this last bag of garbage out, I'm gonna hit the sack—

JANE:  Yeah, ok—(wide-eyed, realizes:) you just cleaned WHAT?

TRENT: (Stops, turns to her:) I just—(Jane zooms past him into the hallway. Trent looks after her, dazed:) huh? (Follows her)

Jane had vanished into Trent's room as he followed her in.

JANE: (From inside, mock-amazement:)  The hell--? What's this I'm standing on? It looks so—bare!

TRENT: (Ditto, droll tone after a moment, annoyed:) It's called the "floor", Janey.

JANE: (Still in her mock-amazement tone, from inside:) And what are those flat, smooth, bare barriers that are surrounding me? I don't think I've seen those in a looong while. What they're called escapes me at the moment--

TRENT: (Still in his droll, annoyed tone:) I think they're called "walls", Janey…

_(Scene Three: The McKinna's castle-like home, Rory's room. Rory, dressed in his silk pajamas, is typing on his computer. We "see" what's on the computer monitor's screen)_

HOTGUY: SO, EVERYTHING'S COOL WITH YOUR FOLKS OVER BALTIMORE, NIBBLET?

NIBBLET: YES, HOTGUY! MY PARENTS THINK THAT I WON THAT BEAUTY CONTEST INTERVIEW, JUST AS YOU FIGURED!

HOTGUY: OF COURSE. THE "OFFICIAL DOCUMENTS" I SENT LOOKED REAL ENOUGH. I GOT THE IDEA AFTER YOU HAD TOLD ME ABOUT THE CONTEST.

NIBBLET: I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I'LL BE SEEING YOU AGAIN, THIS TIME IN PERSON.

HOTGUY: SAME HERE, SWEETIE. I CAN'T WAIT TO BE WITH YOU AGAIN, EITHER.

NIBBLET: I JUST WISHED THAT I DIDN'T HAVE TO—NEVER MIND.

HOTGUY: NO, GO ON AHEAD, NIBBLET. I THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO TYPE. YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS, AREN'T YOU? YOU DON'T LIKE LYING TO THEM?

NIBBLET: YEAH. TO THEM OR MY PARENTS. IT JUST SEEMS SO WRONG.

HOTGUY: I DON'T WANT TO PRESSURE YOU INTO DOING ANYTHING YOU DON'T WANT TO DO, NIBBLET. I GUESS I CAN CANCEL EVERYTHING—

NIBBLET: NO! I MEAN, NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO, HOTGUY. IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE GOING TO SLEEP TOGETHER IN A HOTEL ROOM, RIGHT? JUST TO GET TOGETHER AND SEE THE CITY, AND EVERYTHING.

HOTGUY: EXACTLY, NIBBLET. AND REMEMBER, IT'S ONLY FOR A DAY. OUR DAY, AND NO ONE ELSE TO SHARE IT WITH. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT, RIGHT?

NIBBLET: RIGHT.

HOTGUY: OKAY, THEN. HAVE YOU TOLD YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT "WINNING", YET?

NIBBLET: NO. I PLAN TO TOMORROW AT SCHOOL. UM—

HOTGUY: WHAT?

NIBBLET: WHAT IF THEY START ASKING A LOT OF QUESTIONS? WHAT SHOULD I SAY? I--I THINK QUINN AND SANDI SUSPECT SOMETHING'S NOT QUITE RIGHT WITH ME—

HOTGUY: WHAT? THIS IS THE FIRST I'VE HEARD OF THIS. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME EARLIER?

NIBBLET: I'M SORRY!, THEY'VE BEEN HINTING AT WHETHER OR NOT I'VE BEEN TALKING TO SOMEBODY OVER THE INTERNET FOR SOME REASON FOR A FEW WEEKS, NOW. I'M NOT TOO SURE, BUT A FEW NIGHTS AGO, I THINK I SAW SANDI AND QUINN LOOK THROUGH SOME OF MY PAPERS BESIDE MY COMPUTER WHEN I LEFT THE ROOM FOR A FEW MINUTES DURING ONE OF OUR FASHION CLUB MEETINGS. THEY SAID THEY WERE GOING THROUGH MY NOTES ABOUT OUR CURRENT CLOTHING STYLES. TIFFANY BACKED THEM UP, SAYING THEY TOLD HER WHAT THEY WERE DOING, BUT STILL—WELL, THEY LOOKED LIKE WERE GUILTY OF SOMETHING.

HOTGUY: THIS IS NOT GOOD. I KNOW YOUR FRIENDS DON'T LIKE ME.

NIBBLET: NO! THEY JUST DON'T KNOW YOU LIKE I HAVE! I'VE TALKED TO YOU OVER THE CHATROOM FOR AWHILE, AND I KNOW YOU'RE NOT A BAD PERSON! YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE REALLY SORRY OVER WHAT HAPPENED TO DORA, AND I BELIEVE YOU!

HOTGUY: THANKS, NIBBLET. I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR SAYING THAT, BUT—

NIBBLET: I MEAN IT, R—I MEAN HOTGUY! AFTER A WHILE, I'M SURE THAT THEY'LL COME TO LIKE YOU LIKE I HAVE, EVEN DARREN! YOU'RE SO SENSISTIVE, AND EVERYTHING—

HOTGUY: NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE. I'M BLUSHING. ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO—

NIBBLET: I'M SURE. I WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

HOTGUY: OKAY, THEN, NIBBLET. I WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN, TOO. LOOK, I'M REALLY SORRY THAT YOUR FRIENDS MIGHT SUSPECT SOMETHING ABOUT ME. NOW WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT, I SHOULD'VE SEEN THIS COMING.

NIBBLET: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, HOTGUY. I CAN HANDLE IT, REALLY. AFTER ALL, I HAVEN'T SAID ANYTHING TO THEM ABOUT YOU SINCE WE FIRST STARTED SPEAKING OVER THE INTERNET, HAVE I?

HOTGUY: NO, YOU HAVEN'T, AND I'M GRATEFUL, REALLY.

NIBBLET: YOU'RE WELCOME. SO, WE'LL TALK THE SAME TIME TOMORROW, ONE MORE TIME?

HOTGUY: YEP, TO COORDINATE FOR OUR DATE IN BALTIMORE. TAKE CARE, NIBBLET.

NIBBLET: YOU TOO, HOTGUY. 'BYE!

HOTGUY: 'BYE!

Rory shut off his computer and monitor, then frowned deeply. He wordlessly rose from his desk, and left his bedroom. After a moment, he walked over to Krystal's bedroom door, which was right across the hallway, then knocked.

KRYSTAL: (From behind her door:) Come in!

Rory walked in and quietly shut the door behind him, still with his frown. Krystal, writing at her desk, and dressed in her nightclothes, looked up at him, cocking an amused eyebrow. She was surrounded by her accounting books, both on her desk, and on the floor.

KRYSTAL: (Snorts:) May I help you?

RORY: Why, yes, as a matter of fact you can, you bitch. (Krystal gives him a "**What** did you say?" look) You told Stacy's friend Quinn Morgendorffer when she visited with her frigid bitch sister a few weeks back that I was talking to Stacy over the Internet, didn't you?

KRYSTAL: (Stands:) Pardon? (Frowns:) What in the hell are you babbling about, Rory? Where'd _this_ come from?

RORY: (Walks over, scowling:) Don't play innocent with me, Krystal! Stacy just told me in a virtual chatroom that her friends suspect that I'm talking to her! (Goes up to her:) The only way she could've known _that_ was when you told Quinn! Didn't I tell you if I wanted to see Stacy Rowe, that it was _my_ business? Remember what I said to you what I'd do if you tried to interfere? (Pauses:) "Sty Lark"? (Pauses:) "Darren"? (Krystal narrows her eyes) Yeah, that's right, _that_. (Begins to turn away)

Krystal suddenly grabbed a surprised Rory by his collar, and flipped him on his back as she slammed him on her bed. She straddled him as she tightly held his collar, so much so that she had twisted it around her fist, up to his throat. Rory found himself barely able to breathe.

KRYSTAL:  (Low snarl and whisper:) Let's get something straight, you ass—it's true that I heard something to the effect that you may have been "speaking" to Stacy, but for your damn information, it was _Quinn_ who told me herself, or rather it was Darren who did! He told me Quinn had said Stacy had mentioned wanting to see you again at their lame high school one day, but suddenly said that she didn't mean it like that! Quinn and her friends then suspected she was somehow seeing you! I didn't say a _damn_ thing to anybody! They figured it out on their own!

RORY: (Pauses after a moment, ponders this as he tries to breathe:) Let's--just say that I believe you, and at the moment, I still don't. (Gasps:) Why didn't you say anything to me about it since then?

KRYSTAL: (Slow, feral smirk:) Because you didn't want me to "interfere", remember?

RORY: (Gasping again, frowns:) Slick little--you'd like that, wouldn't you? For me to be caught?

KRYSTAL: (Grins:) It would sure as hell make it easier for me if you were out of my life, Rory, I admit that.

RORY: (Returns grin:) Just as I'm sure it would be for Jane Lane if you were out of her brother's life, eh, sis? (Krystal squeezes his collar tighter) ACK! Cut—it—out—Krystal! I'm—-really--choking--here!

KRYSTAL: (Glares, through clenched teeth, draws closer:) Your point _being_--?

RORY:  (Cuts eyes down, manages weak smile:) How—-about—-this--? You're—-turning—-me—-on—-since—-I—-can—-gasp—-see—-your—-boobs?

Krystal gave Rory a disgusted look, then released him. She wordlessly climbed off of him, and stood on the floor. Rory rubbed his neck as he stood up.

KRYSTAL: I swear, Rory, if you do something bad to Stacy, I don't give a damn _what_ you say to Darren _or_ our parents about "Sty Lark". I will mercilessly kick your sick, sorry, ass.

RORY: So noted, sis. However, I intend to see the little "Nibblet" while you're visiting the slacker-slash-bum in that "Lawndale" place. (Krystal narrows an eye) We're going to experience the sights and sounds of Baltimore.

KRYSTAL: As I recover from your rather audacious and blatant announcement, of which I'll further ask about in a moment, I must wonder as to how you're planning to do this while you're going to school, if I may ask? White Plains community college's schedule doesn't exactly coincide with Eastward's.

RORY: This is true. (Pauses:) See, I've decided to forgo my final year at my beloved community college to pursue my new roving businessman's job full-time. School has no more interest to me. Mr. Smith has asked if I could devote more time to it, and I said yes. I could make loads more money working for him than I could in my undecided major.

KRYSTAL: Ah, I see. (Sneers, doubtful tone:) And you've done such a _wonderful_ job so fast, that "Preston Smith" now wants you full-time. (Smirks:) Mummy and daddy are okay with this? I know our daddy won't let you live under "his" roof, and lay around, job or no.

RORY: Couldn't agree with you more, so I'll be moving out as soon as possible. (Krystal's mouth drops in shock. Rory smirks:) See? I'll be out of your life for real, sis. Don't ever say I didn't do you any favors.

KRYSTAL: You're--_serious_ about this? (Scowls:) Don't screw with me, Rory.

RORY: (Chuckles disdainfully:) That would be an interesting thought if it wasn't so sick and wrong, Krystal—(grins in a suggestive manner, leans forward, which actually makes Krystal cringe:) _right_? (Pauses, backs off:) No, it's true.

KRYSTAL: (After a moment:) If you're serious, then it's the best news I've ever heard in my life. Where in the hell are you going when you move out, brother dear? New York City?

RORY: (Mock-gasps:) Why, you're a freaking psychic, sis. Mr. Smith even helped me pick out a nice apartment in Menlo Park. (Krystal frowns for an instant, confused. Rory picks up on this, grins:) No, not where Thomas Edison once spewed out his inventions in New Jersey. This is a newly-redeveloped upscale tenement named after that place, as a matter of fact. It's not that far from Park Avenue. After I get settled in, I'll even invite you and our parents so I can rub your snotty little face in my success.

KRYSTAL: I'd rather rub _your_ snotty little face into the ground. (Pauses, narrows eyes:) If I had any doubts that you weren't up to something illegal with this elusive "Preston Smith" character, they're gone now. He's paying you to smuggle some drugs into the country, isn't he?

RORY: (Rolls eyes:) Oh, please. I know you've been checking around and hadn't found anything…

KRYSTAL: That's right, I have. Nothing on this "Preston Smith", which is even more suspicious. I've checked on the Internet, and found nothing as well. (Pauses, narrows eyes:) Does he live overseas, or something, is that it?

RORY: (Now annoyed:) I _told_ you that I'm clean, now. No more illegal activities.

KRYSTAL: Except going out with underaged girls. (Pauses:) Why _did_ you tell me about your meeting Stacy Rowe in Baltimore while I'm in Lawndale?

RORY: (Grins:) Simple, sis. If I'm caught with Stacy, I'll assume that you told them, and I'll make a beeline straight to Darren, and tell him about "Sty Lark"--or I will when I get out of jail on bail, whatever. In other words, if I go down, _you'll_ go down with me. I'm counting on you to discourage her buddies from following her to Baltimore, if they suspect anything.

KRYSTAL: (Scowls:) WHAT?! You bastard! Don't you _dare_ drag me into your sick schemes!

RORY: (Chuckles:) Too late, sis. You're in it deep. Call it my "punishment" to you over keeping your mouth shut concerning Stacy's friends suspecting us. (Yawns, stretches:) Well, I'm tired. I think I'll call that "Sherri" chick before I turn in. (To Krystal's scowl:) She's some girl I met yesterday, someplace. Forgot where, though. Ah, well. (Shrugs:) Got her phone number, you know. She's hot! G'night, sis. (Leaves)

Krystal glared silently after her brother as he left. She looked as if she wanted to follow, but her phone began to ring. She glared once more at her door, then went over to answer the phone.

KRYSTAL: (Curt:) Hello? (Pauses, surprised look:) Trent? (Pauses:) What? (Pauses:) Is something wrong? (Sighs, glances at her door:) There's--nothing wrong. I'm just tired, (quickly adds, "perky" tone:) not that I'm tired of talking to _you_, that is. I'm sorry I sounded so snappy. I'm glad you called, as a matter of fact. I need some comforting words from you--sweetie. (Pauses, smirks:) So, how's Jane? I'll bet she's really eager to see me when I visit, huh…?

_(Scene Four: The __Appleton__ mansion, the same time)_

Darren and Curtis entered the foyer. Both looked tired.

DARREN: (Yawns, stretches:) And so goes another studying session.

CURTIS: (Ditto:) Tell me about it. Man, I'm beat. I'm glad I only have two classes tomorrow, and they're not until the late morning. All the other professors are getting off early for the break. I'm gonna sleep in until an hour before they start. (Pauses:) You?

DARREN:  Three classes, early morning, then the rest of the day off. Good thing I'm used to getting up early. (Pauses, narrows an eye:) So, ah, what do you plan to be doing during the break?

CURTIS: (Shrugs:) Funny you should ask. Honestly? I don't know. Unlike you, I don't have any real plans. (Chuckles:) Get this—my dad of all people is giving me time off from his firm—_with _pay! (Darren's eyebrows rise in shock) Yeah, I can't believe it, either! He says that I've done such a good job there, and have had such good grades at school, that I've earned it—not that I'm disagreeing with him, mind you. (Sighs:) Thing is, this means I have nothing to do. Talk about irony.

DARREN: (After a moment:) Well, uh, I'm sure someone—I mean, something will come up, right? You never know.

CURTIS: Here? (Snorts:) I seriously doubt it. There's nothing to do. I wish I could see Lena while I'm off. (Looking anxious:) You know she's finished her studies down at East Florida University, right? She's got a—

DARREN: (Gently interrupts, nods, grins:) –Yeah, I know, I know, you've told me this, what, a dozen times, now? (In a droning tone, since he's said this before:) "Lena's got a few months before she comes up here in the spring to Eastward, so she's working at a hospital near Homestead in the meantime."

CURTIS: (Embarassed expression:) Uh, yeah, sorry about that. (Hangs head:) God, I miss her. (Darren appears to be about to speak, Curtis interrupts, slight scowl:) And no, I don't want you to offer to fly me down there to visit her, so drop it. (Notices Darren's surprised look, lightens tone:) You know that my eating you out of house and home here is enough of a handout.

DARREN: (Slight smile:) Fair enough. Actually, I was going to ask your opinion about my giving that Northolt card to my sister. (Apprehensive look:) Do you think she really liked getting that much on her card? Daria sounded—(pauses, ponders:) I don't know, sort of resigned to having it, like she was only doing it to please me. I only put that much on it to insure that in an absolute emergency, she'd have enough money in a pinch--

CURTIS: Hey, you don't have to sell _me_ on this. (Grins:) I'm sure that if Daria suddenly needs to rent a Ferrari, that card will come in handy. (Darren rolls his eyes) No, seriously, I'm sure everything's cool, and even if it's eventually not, Daria can ask you to cut it down, right?

DARREN: Yeah, I guess. I just don't want her to feel guilty in having the card, that's all. Even with Helen winning that quick surprise settlement with the _Weekly Blabber_, I figured Daria wouldn't have to go to her or Jake anymore to ask for money if she needs it—

CURTIS: (Narrows eyes:) --Just to _you_, right?

DARREN: What's _that_ supposed to mean?

CURTIS: Don't take this the wrong way, bud, but $60,000 is a heck of a lot of money, you know--? Do you want Daria to feel as if she's beholden to you because you've just given her that much money to do with as she pleases?

DARREN: "Beholden" to me? But I'm not trying to do that at all! I just want Daria and Quinn to know that I can be there for them in a pinch!

CURTIS: And I know that you will, bud. Nothing wrong with that, since I feel the same way about my sisters. (Frowns:) Don't tell them I said that, by the way. I just think you don't have to go overboard to do it, you know?

DARREN: "Overboard"? But you just said—

CURTIS: --I said that if Daria can eventually cut it down if she feels uncomfortable with it, I never completely disagreed with you that she shouldn't have that much. I think that's between you two. That being said, she's your sister. You have money. _Lots_ of money. Money that you can share with your sister, and the rest of your family. Hence, you can give some money to your sister. Nothing wrong with that.

DARREN: (Narrows eyes:) Just that it shouldn't be so much money, right?

CURTIS: (Shrugs:) Eh. Like I said, if Daria feels uncomfortable with having that much money, she'll let you know.

DARREN: (After a moment:) I suppose you're right. Sooo, after I finish my meeting with Constance at Appleton, we're still going to get together before I leave with Krystal, right?

CURTIS: (Nods, smirks:) Yeah, yeah, at Sean's for dinner. Krystal's gonna join us with a few others.

DARREN: Alright, then. See you tomorrow.

CURTIS: Take it easy. (Fiona comes up from the side, opens the door:) Thanks, Fiona. (Leaves)

FIONA: (Curtseys, smiles:) Goodnight, Master Curtis. (Shuts the door behind him, turns to Darren:) All is ready for the arrival of the "Special Guest", Master Darren. She'll be here the day after tomorrow, right after you leave, as a matter of fact.

DARREN: (In a "Mr. Burns" type of grin, look, and tone, drums his fingers together:) _Exxxcellent__._ (Fiona giggles for an instant, covering her mouth)  Speaking of vacations, are you ready for your's, Fiona?

FIONA: (Blushes:) Oh, um, yes, Master Darren. Mast—I mean, Jesse will be here late tomorrow. We're going to Niagara Falls. He's never been there before, like me.

DARREN: (Chuckles:) You'll love it. Niagara's beautiful, but also terrifying. (Smirks:) Don't get too close to the railing, and fall over.

FIONA: (Small smile, chuckle:) I won't, Master Darren, I promise. (Leaves)

Darren was about to leave upstairs when Tina and Elenor entered the foyer. Darren dropped a curious eyebrow when he saw Tina.

DARREN: Hm. I thought you were already gone, Tina. You usually don't stay here this late, unless it was something important.

TINA: (Smirks:) Just making sure everything's secure before I leave for several days, Darren. Have to keep the rest of the security staff on their toes, you know.

DARREN: (Nods:) Ah. (Pauses:) Hey, that's right,  _you're_ going on vacation, too, aren't you? I thought you were already gone.

TINA: (Uneasy expression, glances over at Elenor, who gives her a cool look:) Um, yeah, but it's more like some personal time I've built up. I decided to take it, since you're going to be gone for a few days, and the mansion's basically going to be a ghost house, with no one here other than Elenor and Claude, save for our "Special Guest". Henri's even going to leave to go back to France for two weeks, if you recall.

DARREN: (Rolls eyes, winces:) That's right! I'd forgotten that! (Cocks a playful eyebrow at Tina, smirks:) Have any plans with the boyfriend?

TINA: (Throws yet another uneasy glance at Elenor:) Uhm, we're still going over them, Darren.

DARREN: Well, have a good time, wherever you're going. Goodnight, you two. (Leaves up the stairs)

ELENOR: (Looks up after him:) Master Darren. (Waits until Darren's rounded the corner, turns to Tina, small frown, lower voice:) Tina, I don't think this is a good idea. Master Darren will _not_ be pleased when he finds out.

TINA: (Hard sigh, same lower voice:) Elenor, I think it's a great idea. It'll only be for a day or two. Somebody's got to keep an eye on Darren, and unlike the last time, he won't be able to go in incognito. People will know who he is, and might not give him a moment's rest. Besides, I can scope out this "Lawndale" place for myself, you know, to get the layout of how it looks, and all that. (Pauses:) And I _know_ you're worried about him like I am.

ELENOR: (Pauses, then slowly nods:) I—am. I admit it. But where will you stay? If you wish to be near Master Darren, it has to be somewhere nearby, right?

TINA: (Ponders, realizes:) Umm, now that you've mentioned it, you're right. I really don't know. (Quickly adds:) Oh well, I'll find a hotel, or something. (Looks at wristwatch:) I'd better go, then. Goodnight, Elenor. (Opens door, leaves)

ELENOR: Goodnight, Tina. (Closes door behind her, leans against it, sighs, slumps, thought v.o.: Master Darren will definitely **not** like this…) (Leaves)


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter 2**

_(Scene Five: The Morgendorffer residence, the next day, in the morning. Jane, wearing her book bag, walks up to the front stoop, and rings the doorbell. After a moment, Daria, wearing her own book bag, opens the door)_

JANE: (Smirks:) Yo!

DARIA: (Returns a brief smirk:) Hey. So, you're here at my house first yet again. I seem to recall that it used to be the other way around.

JANE: (Small, sheepish shrug:) Well, I can't seem to get out of my new little rut of rising really early to jog. Maybe it's because it's still kinda warm out, and I just wanted to get my jogs out of the way for the day before school. I'm sure that it'll change back soon, and I can get back to my afternoon, post school romps.

DARIA: (Mock ponders:) _Orrr_, maybe it's because my brother's influenced you on all those early morning jogs you two took over this summer, and you've decided to stick to your little schedule.

JANE: (Wry look:) Go ahead and ruin my take, why don't you?

DARIA: I already have.

JANE: (Snaps fingers:) Curses! Hoisted by my own petard! (Daria shows her a brief, Mona Lisa smile. Jane swings her fist, mock-enthused, grins:) Anyhoo, ready for yet another rip-roaring day at Lawndale Penitentiary?

DARIA: Of course not, but I suppose we have no choice. Lead the way--(before Daria can step through the doorway, an excited Quinn, holding her pink book bag, jostles by her from within, almost running into Jane as well) Whoa! Hey, where's the fire, "Red"?

JANE: (Turns, looks after her:) Yeah! I want to take some pictures, dammit!

QUINN: (Stops, turns back to them both, slight smile:) Oops! Sorry, Daria! 'Morning, Jane! (Plows on before Jane can respond:) I'm on my way over to Sandi's so we can get to school a little early with the rest of the Fashion Club! (Gives a smug look:) We volunteered to do the interior decorations, since we _are _fashion experts, you know, and that goes for dressing walls, too! Ms. Li wants our final opinion on the colors of the flower arrangements and the welcome banner for when Darren visits tomorrow!

DARIA: (In a mock serious deadpan tone:) You mean, there were _other_ previous opinions on the critical choices of the flowers with the banner, and you didn't let _us_ know about this? We feel _so _insulted. (Jane nods fiercely in "agreement") We could've helped you pick out the school colors, right, Jane?

JANE: (Same mock serious tone, waves her off with a limp wrist:) Oh my, yes. I could've told you that sunflower yellow and midnight blue would've been _the _perfect school colors to use during the daylight hours, as opposed to banana yellow and navy blue.

QUINN: But we're not using _banana_ yellow with _navy _blue, we're using lem--(realizes, narrows eyes, suspicious tone:) hey! Are you two like, playing with me? Because if you _are_—

Daria and Jane silently smirked at her.

QUINN: (Rolls eyes, sighs, exasperated:) It's _not_ funny, you know! Look, Ms. Li is really taking this seriously, like the Fashion Club is! We wanna make the best impression on Darren when he sees our school!

DARIA: Somehow, I don't think our brother will take the time to stop and smell the roses, pansies, or any other flowers in our school, Quinn. He's only coming to talk to Ms. Li about his donation, you know that.

JANE: Besides, I don't think Darren wanted it to be turned into some sorta state visit. (Grins, amused tone:) There's no need to go overboard and get Brittany or the rest of the cheerleaders to give that special welcome cheer to Darren.

QUINN: (Cocks eyebrow:) Hey, how'd you know about _that_? Did Brittany mention it? We were gonna spring it on Darren when he walked through the doors tomorrow afternoon! (Jane gives her a surprised look with Daria. Quinn then grins:) Hah! Gotcha! Bye--ee! (Quickly leaves)

Daria and Jane could only stare after Quinn in stunned amazement as she literally bounced down the street, giggling.

DARIA: (As she shuts the door behind her, joins Jane on the stoop:) Well, whattaya know. My sister, the comedienne. Next thing you know, she'll want her own improv stage in the middle of our living room.

JANE: (Snickers as they start walking:) Still, ya gotta admit that Quinn caught us a little off guard, there. (Pauses:) Is it just me, or has she developed a lighter sense of humor lately?

DARIA: Normally, I'd say it's just you and your _warped_ sense of humor, but yeah, she's been more of a playful soul recently. I'd say that it's a combination of Darren's impending visit, along with, well, you know—

JANE: (Takes it up, nods:) –Uh, her getting over that "David" guy you told me about?

DARIA: (Sighs:) You got it. (Pauses:) I think she's finally putting him behind her, once and for all.

JANE: (Senses something's not quite right, cocks eyebrow:) _Buttt_--?

DARIA: But, I heard her speaking to Sandi over the phone this morning about possibly seeing David "One more time" at Lawndale State University. I thought about confronting her over it, but I decided not to. (Shrugs:) Maybe Quinn wants to see if she still has any feelings left for him. (Sighs, shakes head:) I think I'll just stay out of this from now on, and not play Dr. Phil anymore…

JANE: --_Unlessss_ she comes to you again to talk about him, (looks up for a moment:) or even perhaps to Darren while he's here--? (Smirks:) No need for you to feel left out of their cute, little sibling talks, you know.

DARIA: (Rolls eyes disdainfully:) Funny. Even though I'll admit that Quinn's into her schoolwork more these days, she'd probably bore Darren to death with her take on fashions instead. Look, I'll reserve my opinions until asked, if that's what you're inferring. In the case of Darren, I'm sure he'd probably jump right in on the subject of David if Quinn asked him what he thought.

JANE: (Chuckles:) Or, instead of the _subject_ per se, Darren might want to jump in on _David_ himself for hurting his "baby" sister! (Daria stops, frowns briefly at Jane. Jane walks past her for a moment, then stops as well. Jane turns back to her, then returns:) Huh? What?

DARIA: Jane, did Darren happen to add anything more to you about that?

JANE: (Drops eyebrow:) Come again? On what? (Pauses, realizes:) Oh, you're talking about that "David" guy, aren't you?

DARIA: Well, nothing else but. Darren _was _the person who called me last night after our talk. At the end of our jabbering, he wanted to know yet again how Quinn was doing after what happened with her former tutor. Though he didn't directly say it, I could tell that Darren sounded a tad peeved again about the situation. I told him that Quinn was still doing okay, but he didn't seem completely convinced.

JANE: He didn't say anything more to me about it when we spoke yesterday. (Pauses, realizes, adds:) Don't tell me Darren inferred to you that he's gonna actually do something nasty to Quinn's former tutor?

DARIA: (Looks off for an instant, then back to Jane:) Um, well--no, of course not, but after I hung up, I couldn't help but to remember what you told me about his reaction to Mr. Reardon's accusations against him for quickly "forgetting" about his deceased fiancée Stephanie, and how Darren was with Rory McKinna in that "Reynaldo's" place. He _was_ royally pissed both times; he even grabbed them both.

Jane mildly frowned for a bit, pondering. Daria continued on after a moment.

DARIA: I'm just—(pauses:) a little worried that he might try to let David know (finger quote:) "directly" on how wrong Quinn was treated from his point of view. Darren was pretty damn lucky both times that he wasn't arrested for attempted battery, when I think about it. What if the third time's a charm? (Sighs:) I know he took that Zen Buddhist teaching along with his martial arts to calm himself down, but I'm still wondering a little bit about what might happen if Darren happens to meet him here…

JANE: (Small nod:) Okay, I admit that you _do_ have a point or two, amiga, but what good would it do, other than bringing Darren some unwanted attention, especially from the tabloids, and maybe even a lawsuit after he's arrested, from that "David" guy, to boot? Besides, it's not as if Darren's even _seen _him, so he doesn't know what he looks like. I also don't think Darren would want Quinn angry at him. Plus, he's promised _me_ that if he happens to meet that "David" guy here by chance, he won't do anything bad, and that's good enough for your's truly because Darren knows it would make me become seriously pissed at him, too.

DARIA: (Cocks an eyebrow as they resume walking, smirks:) Got him on a leash, eh?

JANE: (Grins:) Ahhh, something like that, I guess. (Pauses, red-faced, hesitates, looks off for a moment as she quickly adds:) I, uh, wouldn't want anything to mess up what Darren and I are starting to have, you know? Our relationship's, uh, getting _really_ serious, (Daria cocks a **very **raised eyebrow) and this, (sighs, frowns:) along with Krystal liking Trent, is _not_ gonna change that.

DARIA: (Appears as if she wants to say something more, but doesn't:) Um, sure…

JANE: (Quickly changes the subject:) _Mooooving_ on, unfortunately speaking of Krystal, guess what my brother did last night?

DARIA: (Smirks, mock-hopeful tone:) He came to his senses, and he's gonna tell her to hit the road?

JANE: (Grins, teasing tone:) Oh, you _dreamer_, you. And here I thought you'd said that you'd never try to deliberately spread good cheer, unless it's to make others feel miserable. (Daria releases a low snort) He's just prepared our place for Krystal's visit.

DARIA: (Cocks eyebrow:) "Prepared"? (Pauses, adds:) As _innn_--?

JANE: Cleaning up his room, spotlessly, I might add, (smirks:) along with the rest of Casa Lane. (Daria suddenly stops while Jane continues walking) I was so into painting, (pauses:) er, something last night, I didn't even not--_ice_? (Sees once again that her friend isn't beside her, stops yet again, grins, returns:) This is gettin'old, Morgendorffer…

DARIA: (Speaking through her shock:) So we'll work out a new routine. (Pauses:) Let me understand this—Trent's room, _and_ the rest of the house, is "clean"_, _as in the opposite of "dirty"?

JANE: Last time I checked, that's what "clean" meant. (Chuckles out loud:) I was shocked beyond belief when I saw his room! But after I recovered, he told me about the rest of the house, too! See, Max and Nick had come over to help him out after Trent had bribed them with some cartons of cigarettes and beer, since, you know, Jesse's gone to see Fiona, and they had decided to take a few days off from playing because of it. They had cleaned Summer's, Penny's, and Wind's old rooms first, with Trent cleaning his own afterwards. Big Brother showed me a whole load of trash at the curb, and-- (Daria suddenly turns from her, now going in the other direction) hey! Where are you going? (Starts to follow her)

DARIA: (As Jane catches up, and walks beside her:) To witness history in the making at Casa Lane by eyeing those rooms myself. I may never live to see this day again.

JANE: I can't believe I'm about to say this, and I'll deny it to the death if you snitch, but what about the penitentiary? Won't we be late?

DARIA: (Shrugs:) Eh. We're actually pretty well ahead of schedule, thanks to your dragging your ass out of bed earlier than usual these days. (Jane snorts) It won't be too long, and I think we can make the first tardy bell. Besides, thanks to Ms. Li's salivating at my brother's pending donation, she's falling all over herself to be nice to us, remember? In the event that we _are_ late, I'll just say that I forgot something at home, which I won't add is actually _your's, _and I had to get it back. I think she'll let us off with just a mild warning, and tell us not to let it happen again.

JANE: Hm.Yeah.You're probably right. Li wants some of Darren's moolah pretty badly.

DARIA: Exactly. (Pauses, hesitates, worried expression:) Um, I just thought of something, Jane. If Trent's gone to this much trouble…

JANE: (Grim look, nods:) –Yeah, yeah, I know, Daria. (Deep frown:) He must _really_ like Krystal. (Pauses, very low tone, bitter:) _Dammit._ (Daria cuts her eyes over, says nothing as the two continue to walk. Jane shrugs:) Of course after what else he told me last night about her, it's not all that much of a surprise.

DARIA: (Cocks an eyebrow:) Come again? About Krystal? You mean there's more, other than the huge clean up?

JANE: (Snorts:) _Oh _yeah. There's Trent's apparent perception that he (finger quotes:) "already" knew that I didn't like Krystal from the beginning. (Daria's eyebrows rise) Here's what he said...

_(Scene Six: The same time, in front of Sandi's)_

Quinn, still on her little high from needling Daria and Jane, bounced up to the rest of the Fashion Club, who were waiting for her. Sandi crossed her arms and showed an amused look, while Tiffany exhibited her usual vacant expression. Stacy smiled, but appeared uncomfortable.

SANDI: (Cocked eyebrow:) Well, now. _You_ certainly appear to be in a good mood, Quinn, despite your rather, (pauses:) unfashionable expression of mirth.

TIFFANY: Yeah...whatever Sandi...said... (Stacy, with a nervous smile, nods wordlessly in agreement)

QUINN: (Giggles:) I just put one over on Daria and Jane, guys, that's all! I'll tell you about it on the way to school... (begins walking with the others)

STACY: (Swallows hard, interrupts:) Uh, before you tell us, Quinn, could I say something first, (quickly adds to Quinn's surprised expression:) if that's okay--? I, um, have some really good news. (Grins:) I was going to tell you guys at school, but I'm so excited, I just couldn't wait!

QUINN: (Glances at the others, and vice-versa:) Good news? Oh, yeah, sure, Stacy. What is it?

STACY: (Grins wider:) Um, do you guys remember that contest for the Bliss cosmetic line of beauty products, you know, the sweepstakes where the top five winners would get an interview to be a model for their stuff, even though it wouldn't guarantee that they all would get it, just one?

SANDI: (Furrowed eyebrow:) Hmmm, yes. I seem to recall us talking about it in passing several months back, just before we met Darren, as a matter of fact. We all decided later not to pursue it after we agreed to go into Circa. (Quinn and Tiffany look at each other and nod) What of it?

STACY: (Pauses, then reaches into her purse, suddenly pulls out a folded, medium-sized slip of paper, wildly giggles:) Well, I wanted to tell you all that I had decided to enter it at the last second, writing why I wanted to be a model, and providing a picture of myself, you know, stuff that they wanted, and guess who's one of the top five winners? (Gives paper to Quinn, which causes them to all stop. Sandi and Tiffany read it over her shoulders) _Me!_

QUINN: (Gasps with the others in shock:) S-Stacy--? You entered, and WON? (Looks up, grins:) That's _great_! (Hugs her lightly)

TIFFANY: (Slowly smiles:) Yeah...that's great…Stacy...(ditto with the hug)

Sandi had taken the paper from Quinn and had read it again, this time more carefully. She narrowed her eyes at the small print on the bottom, suddenly suspicious. She looked up at Stacy, cocking an equally-suspicious eyebrow.

SANDI: _Stacccy—_this paper also says you're leaving Lawndale the day after tomorrow to go to Baltimore to speak to the Bliss representatives in one of the interviews.

STACY: (Releases Tiffany, unsure expression:) Uh, yeah, Sandi--? (Swallows hard again:) So--?

SANDI: (Direct look at Stacy:) So, Bliss's main headquarters is in New York City. (Cocks eyebrow:) Why are you going to Baltimore? I seem to recall that all of the five winners were supposed to go to New York City...

STACY: (Shrugs uneasily:) W-Well, gee, Sandi, I guess they have a branch office in Baltimore. (Weak shrug:) They also probably changed their minds at the last minute for everybody's interviews, or something, you know, sending them to locations near where they lived--? (Forced grin:) I couldn't care less, I won, right? (Now develops a "curious" look:) Um, what's the problem--? (Quinn and Tiffany also look curiously at Sandi)

SANDI: (Again looking, and now sounding suspicious:) Well, it would seem to _me_ that they'd fly all of you up to New York City to their corporate office, since you all were the grand prize winners. It also seems, like, a step down that they'd want you to come to Baltimore, _especially_ since you can practically almost walk to there from here. (Glances down at paper yet again:) This doesn't make any sense, the more I think about it...

STACY: (Swallows hard yet again:) What are you saying, Sandi--? That I'm-- (panics, begins to hyperventilate:) _lying _for some reason?

QUINN: (Mild gasp of shock with Tiffany:) Stacy!

SANDI: (Caught off-guard at this, actually surprised:) I most certainly am _not_ saying that you're lying, Stacy! There would be no reason for you to do that! I'm happy for you—(pauses, looks pained for some reason, seemingly forces herself to reply:) _really_!

Quinn stared at Sandi in mild surprise while Tiffany maintained her vacant expression. Even though to her Sandi obviously had undergone a change over the summer because of recent events, becoming nicer and even more open emotionally, she still had half-expected Sandi to say something at least mildly nasty.

Quinn immediately kicked herself mentally. _Dork! That shouldn't have surprised you, you know, not now, anyway! Sandi's just really concerned that something's not right, here. It **does** seem kinda strange that Bliss changed where the grand prize interviews would be..._

STACY: (Shows an uneasy look, calms down a little, but still hyperventilating:) You--you really _are_ happy for me, Sandi? Then why--__

SANDI: (Regains initiative, frowns, sounding like her old, nasty self, interrupts:) --If you _must_ know, it just seems to me that there's something that feels wrong with all of this! (Narrows eyes, looks off:) I can't, like, totally explain how or why, but--

Stacy stopped hyperventilating for an instant, and then stared pointedly at Sandi, narrowing her eyes. To Quinn, Stacy seemed different, somehow, as if she had suddenly found a sense of bravery, similar to that night at the lake on Darren's estate when she, Tiffany, and Tina had discovered her with Rory. Now, even the usually-vacant Tiffany had a touch of worry on her face.

STACY: (Cuts Sandi off:) --What could possibly be wrong with it, Sandi? (Pauses:) I entered the contest, and I won! I told you that!

SANDI: (Hesitates:) Perhaps, but—

STACY: (Interrupts, begins to hyperventilate again:) –But what, Sandi? (Raises voice, becomes wide-eyed:) WHAT?! (The others stare at Stacy, now wide-eyed themselves in shock:) You don't believe me! Why won't you believe me?! All I did was enter the contest, and I won! Why can't you just be happy for me like Quinn and Tiffany are?!  
  
QUINN: (Alarmed look with Tiffany:) Stacy, calm down—

STACY: (Shakes head quickly, now glares at Sandi:) No, I _won't_ calm down, Quinn! I'm not gonna back off like I used to do, not anymore! Don't you see? Sandi's just jealous that I won!

SANDI: (Now **really **enraged, snarls through clenched teeth:) WHAT?!

STACY: (Still hyperventilates, but gamely continues, keeping her glare:) Y-You heard me! You're jealous because I entered, and won, while you didn't! Admit it!

SANDI: (Walks up to her face, still in her snarl. Stacy stands her ground, though inside, she's quivering like Jell-o:) Listen, _Staaacy---_like, I couldn't now care less if you won that stupid contest, okay?! If you wanna go to Baltimore, then that's your business!

STACY: T-That's right, it _is_ my business, Sandi! My parents told me that I could go by myself, since it's just for a day, that I'm old enough, that they trust me, since it's nowhere from here, and that's what I intend to do!

SANDI: Fine! Then go on!

STACY: I will! (Turns to leave, then stops, turns back to them, hesitates, adds in a meek, but defiant manner:) I--I know you don't completely believe me, Sandi, no matter what you said! To prove to you that I'm telling the truth, why don't you call the phone number and check the website on the paper? You can keep it; it's just a copy, anyway! Maybe _that_ will convince you! (Frowns:) Oh, and if you want to punish me for "defying" you, then do it, I don't care! (Storms off to the stunned looks of the other Fashion Clubbers, save for Sandi, who looks red-faced and enraged, shaking)

QUINN: Stacy! Wait! (Stacy ignores her, continues on. Quinn appears to want to go after her, but stops)

As she walked away, Stacy couldn't help but to develop a smile, though she was trembling, a bundle of excitement and nervousness inside.

_I--I actually **did **it! All I had to do was to get up enough nerve to pretend to stand up to Sandi, and get her to "approve" of me going without her even knowing it! I even fooled Quinn and Tiff--well, Tiffany doesn't really count. Anyway, I can now go to Baltimore, and be with Rory without them suspecting anything! Even if they check out the number and the website, which Rory's said that he's taken care of, they'll hear and see what he wants them to hear and see! _

Stacy then slowly showed an uncharacteristic-looking smirk.

_Oh, Sandi, you're **so** naive. You **deserved **to have me chew you out! I was so sick and tired of the way you had bullied me around in the Fashion Club! I should've done this a long time ago, for real-- _

Almost immediately, Stacy formed a pained expression of disbelief and guilt, slowing down her pace to a very slow walk, now slumping. She was now of out sight of the other Fashion Clubbers.

_OhmyGodohmyGod! What am I **thinking**? After seeing what she went through this summer with almost getting killed that night, and of finding out Mrs. Griffin's not her birth mother, Sandi--had changed somehow, even going to a psychologist to help her through both! Sandi wasn't as mean to us--to me, anymore. I shouldn't have enjoyed pretending so much, even if—if…I **liked **it…_

Now out of sight of the others, Stacy stopped, and glanced back.

_I'll--apologize to Sandi and the others--if they—**she'll** accept it. I—I can't go right back now, not after the way I pretended to…_

Slumping once again, Stacy sighed, and quietly walked to school.

After watching Stacy storm out of sight down the street, Quinn cut her eyes over to Sandi.

QUINN: (Carefully choosing her words:) Um, Sandi, I don't think Stacy meant that the way it came out, you know--?

TIFFANY: (For once understanding the art of eggshell walking:) Yeah...I don't think...she was herself... (narrows eyes:) liiiike that time...on the lake...at Darren's...remember...Quinn...? (Quinn cocks a surprised eyebrow at Tiffany's noticing, as well as her remembering. Sandi, though furious, takes note as well. She had been told by Quinn about Stacy's behavior that night, sans Tiffany)

SANDI: (Calming down, but still obviously P.O.'d, fists clenched at her sides:) Oh, she _meant_ it, all right, there's no doubt about _that_! (Spits out bitterly:) Let's see what the little _bitch _thinks about being kicked out of the Fashion Club! (Quinn and Tiffany stare at her, wide-eyed) And that's just for starters! When I get through with _her_, she'll be so unpopular, she'll have to--to--(slowly shuts eyes, appears torn, slumps, sighs:) no...I...that's not right, not anymore, at least... (puts her hand on her forehead, seems to briefly wobble, starts taking slow breaths. Quinn and Tiffany immediately rush to each side of her)

QUINN: (Worried look with Tiffany, puts hand on Sandi's right shoulder briefly:) Sandi! Are you alright?

SANDI: (Recovers, slight smile:) I'm--fine, Quinn, Tiffany. (Pauses:) Really. (Looks off, small frown:) My--shrink last week said I should try to calm myself down by breathing slowly if I ever get really angry, and stuff. (Frowns, as if she seems to struggle to speak:) I'm—(pauses:) sorry for blowing my stack like that.

QUINN: (Smiles after a moment:) It's okay, Sandi. (Pauses, now develops a small frown of her own:) Look, Stacy still had no right to go off at you like that, especially, well, after this summer, you know--(the others give her a quiet look. Quinn quickly goes on:) anyway, we're gonna hunt her down at school and get her to apologize to you. (Thought v.o.: Which is **really** weird. Just last year, it would've sorta been the other way around--or we would've at least tried to shame Sandi into doing it...)

TIFFANY: (Now even she has a tiny frown:) Yeah...that was...sooo...wrong of Stacy…

SANDI: (Hard sigh, appears as if she wants to agree, then relents:) Perhaps, but--well, (very low tone, looks off:) Stacy was sort of..._right_. I _was_ kind of--jealous.

QUINN & TIFFANY: (Raised eyebrows:) Huh? You…_were?_ (The two stare at each other, shocked at their precisely agreeing)

SANDI: (Very brief glare at them, looks off:) You heard me, okay?! (Throws arms out:) I admit it! I was—(pauses, small scowl of frustration:) sorta jealous that Stacy got that interview! (Quickly adds:) Not as jealous as I might've _used_ to have been, mind you, but I _was_ jealous. It's just seems like something's not totally right about this, you know, and it's more than just me being jealous!

QUINN: You mean, the way Stacy really went off at you, (glances over at Tiffany, uncertain look:) like, um, what _we_ told you how she was acting over Rory that night near the lake, the same for the sudden location change of the interview from New York City to Baltimore? (Tiffany gives her a brief, odd look)

SANDI: (Also glances at Tiffany, gets Quinn's inference:) Er, precisely, Quinn. (Looks down at paper again, drops eyebrow:) I wonder... (reads for an instant:) you know, like, is it me, or did Bliss' business phone number change? (Quinn looks over her shoulder with Tiffany) I seem to recall that the issue of _Waif_ with that cover model Manha Manha a few months ago had a different front page telephone number on that contest...

QUINN: (Narrows eyes as she reads:) Hmm...hey, you're right, Sandi, though the area code's still the same. The company's e-mail address on the cover has changed, too. I wonder why they changed _both_? (Pauses:) Now, I'm kinda wondering if anything's going on myself…

SANDI: (Shrugs:) I dunno. (Pauses:) Maybe we can at least check out the new e-mail and phone number later? Stacy said she didn't care, right?

TIFFANY: Yeah...

QUINN: (Nods:) Good idea. (Looks at her wristwatch:) We'd better get on so we can meet Ms. Li. (Begins walking with the others:) With any luck, Stacy will be waiting there with her, wanting to apologize to you, Sandi… (suddenly gasps:) _Oh!_ I almost forgot to tell you guys about something!

SANDI: (Amused, cocked eyebrow:) You mean, about what you put over your sister and Jane, Quinn?

QUINN: (Shows a bit of a confused expression:) Huh? (Realizes, narrows eyes:) Oh, yeah, there's _that_, but I just remembered something _else_, too. I think it's more important for me to talk about this, first.

TIFFANY: What is it...Quinn...?

QUINN: (Suddenly uncomfortable look:) Well, I happened to look something up last night on my laptop after I thought Daria was playing around with me, and, um, well, it turns out that she wasn't, at least not completely. (Sandi and Tiffany give each other odd looks. Quinn shows a disgusted expression:) Have you guys ever heard of something called, ew, "dust mites"...?

_(Scene Seven: The law firm of Vitale, Davis, Horowitz, Riordan, Schrecter, Schrecter & [Gasp! Yes!] Morgendorffer, Helen's office, the same time)_

Helen sat stiffly at her familiar desk, staring down at the very thin, but neatly stacked set of papers on it. After a moment, she mildly scowled, then stared forward and quietly sighed as she leaned over forward, placed her chin in her left hand, and her left elbow on her desk, looking bored.

In the foreground, facing directly away from Helen, Marianne, actually looking relaxed for a change, crisply typed at her work desk PC while looking down to her right side at her thicker stack of papers. In the far left background, to the side of Helen, another woman, a younger-looking, glasses-wearing, shoulder-length redhead, who appeared as if she had just graduated from secretarial school (which she had), was also typing at her work desk PC. She was a new secretary that the now-equal partner Helen had recently hired to work primarily for Marianne, although the newbie actually worked for Helen.

Unlike Marianne's professional keystrokes, however, this woman appeared to be struggling somewhat, typing slower. The woman paused, frowned briefly, tapped the backspace key, and then continued to type at her slower rate. She was looking at her own stack of papers down at her left side, which was thicker than Helen's or Marianne's.

Helen wordlessly glanced over at the redhead for a moment. She resumed her bored expression, looking forward.

_Well, you wanted to come in early, even though you didn't have to, didn't you, Helen? The only problem is there's little work for you to do. Hell, you've **already** finished these two depositions, and it only took 30 minutes! Ever since you've become a full partner here, it's been just like this every day. Oh, sure, you've sat at the conference table with the big boys as an equal. You helped to give out all sorts of caseloads to the other lawyers, their interns, and secretaries--something you used to be on the receiving end of, and of course going to the courthouse for the firm's cases. _

_Speaking of the courthouse, just a few days ago, you won a financial settlement there for a family concerning a faulty unicycle from a bike maker, a cool $1,000,000--before we got our standard 30% fee, of course. Eric and the other partners were delighted, patting you on the back, and praising you in front of all of those reporters._

Helen gave another sigh, this time a bit louder. Marianne overheard, cut her eyes to the side without turning around for an instant, but continued to type. The other woman continued typing as well, apparently not noticing.

_The trouble is, you **didn't** do most of the arguing for the plaintiff. Since you're an equal partner now, which meant all that you did was to observe and be the head advisor for one of the firm's newly-arrived lawyers. They did the **real** work, what you used to do, too. Yet, **you** received the full credit, whereas the newbie was cast aside as someone who simply did what **you **told him, and nothing more. You remembered how he dutifully packed up his briefcase after the verdict, and left, begging off the victory celebration at Milligan's because he wanted to spend some private time with his new wife. You thought that was so sweet. Later that night, you had somehow convinced Eric and the other partners at the restaurant to give him a few days off with pay as a reward. That way, he could spend more time with her, what you now have yourself after all of these years with your husband and family._

Helen closed her eyes slowly.

_Time, Helen. What to do, what to do..._

Helen then sat back in her chair, sighing even louder. Once again, Marianne noticed. This time she stopped, and spun around in her computer chair with a concerned expression.

MARIANNE: Helen, is everything all right? (The other woman now stops, notices Marianne's expression, turns to look at Helen as well)

HELEN: (Shaken out of her thoughts, sits up:) Hm? What is it Marianne? What did you say?  
  
MARIANNE: I overheard you sighing, um, rather loudly, and I thought something was wrong.

HELEN: I did? Oh, um, sorry. It's--nothing. (Quickly adds in her falsetto voice to Marianne's doubtful look, smiles:) I, ah, think it's just that I rushed out of the house this morning, and I didn't have time to get any breakfast. I suppose I'm feeling a little famished.

MARIANNE: Did you want to get something from the break room's vending machine? Maybe a microwavable breakfast sandwich would hit the spot--?

HELEN: (Slight smile:) Mmm, yes. Yes, Marianne, as a matter of fact, I _do_ think I'd like a breakfast sandwich. (Reaches into her purse behind her desk:) Let me get some money…

MARIANNE: (Returns the smile:) Okay, Helen. (Spins in her computer chair towards the redhead, more of a commanding tone:) Cindy, get Helen that breakfast sandwich, pronto. (Cindy immediately nods, stands, goes over to Helen) Make sure it's piping hot, and without the wrap. Put it on a napkin, and the napkin on a paper plate. Get the plates from the cabinet above the counter.

CINDY: (Sounding like an older version of Stacy, eager look, nods:) Sure, Marianne!

MARIANNE: Helen, did you want a soda or anything else with that?

HELEN: Oh, no, I'll just drink the coffee in here with it. (Smiles:) Thank you, Cindy. (Gives money to her)

CINDY: (Small smile in return:) You're welcome, Helen. Marianne, did you want anything?

MARIANNE: (Still in her commanding tone, narrows eyes:) Hm--yes. Get me a breakfast burrito, along with a can of iced tea. A donut just doesn't do the job when you're rushing from the house as well. Hang on a second... (pulls out her top drawer, takes out some bills, gives them to Cindy:) don't dawdle, now. We've got to get those papers done by today. (Helen forms a bemused expression)

CINDY: (Perky expression, tone:) I won't, Marianne! Be back in a few! (Quickly leaves)

Helen watched Cindy leave, and then turned back to Marianne.

HELEN: (Retains her bemused expression:) Well, _you've_ certainly taken to having a secretary of your own, haven't you, ordering her around like that--? (Pauses, falsetto voice:) Don't you think you were a bit rough on her, Marianne? (Pauses, realizes, small frown:) Now when I think about it further, you've sounded pretty rough on her ever since she first started working here...

MARIANNE: (Mildly embarrassed expression:) I was, er, "rough"on Cindy? (Small, uneasy chuckle:) Um, well, maybe I was a little, Helen. I didn't mean to be like that toward her. (Pauses, looks away, then back at Helen:) I, er, suppose I _had_ gotten carried away, a little. (Pauses:) It just made me feel so, I don't know, good to order someone around like that, (adds, under her breath, cuts eyes over to Helen briefly:) for a _change_…

Helen stared at Marianne for an instant, and then Helen's eyes lit up in slow realization. Marianne quickly picked up on Helen's look, and immediately spoke in an alarmed tone, as if she knew exactly what Helen was thinking.

MARIANNE: Uh, Helen, look, it's not that--!

HELEN: (Droll, even look:) _Isn't_ it, Marianne? (Pointed tone:) I think you're sort of taking out on Cindy what I had done to _you_ these past few years, aren't you?

MARIANNE: (Completely at a loss of words, for Helen's hit the bull's-eye:) Helen—I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—(looks down, grows silent)

HELEN: (Weary smile, gentle tone:) Marianne, look at me. (After a moment, Marianne does) As much as it pains me to say this, you're _right_. (Marianne shows a stunned expression) Oh, don't look so surprised. Now that I've become a partner around here, I've had—(pauses:) more time to see things as they really are on my job, since I've had less work to do. (Pauses, narrows eyes:) I _was_ a rather demanding bitch to you at times, wasn't I, Marianne? All you did was work your ass off for me, and all Idid was to grind _your_ face into _my_ millstone even harder. (Quickly adds, mild frown to Marianne's opening mouth:) Don't you _dare_ deny it, I mean it. Since I have equal clout now with Eric and the others, you don't have to worry about losing your job. Be completely honest with me.

MARIANNE: (After a moment, carefully considers her words despite Helen's assurance, sighs:) Well, you _did _ride me pretty hard more often than not, Helen. I admit it was rather stressful. (Helen says nothing, but shows a mildly grim expression, which Marianne picks up on, gentle tone:) But I know you only wanted to be the best lawyer you could be, (reluctantly adds in a lower tone, looks around:) especially since you were a female, (Helen shows a reflective look) having to work twice as hard for the all-male bosses here to prove to them that you were worth it, and it's paid off with your partnership, plus, I have my own secretary to boot, which means I'm doing less work than ever, like you. (Thought v.o.: Thank God.)

HELEN: (Slumps back in her chair, sighs:) And that's just the point, Marianne. I'm—_we're_ doing less work. (Marianne gives her a confused look) I guess I'm just bored because I have far less to do these days. Ever since I first arrived here, I've coveted getting a partnership in the firm, and now that I have it, (looks off briefly, voice trails off:) it doesn't seem like all it's cracked up to be…

MARIANNE: (Thought v.o.: Oh, no, **please** don't let her go in that direction...:) Um, don't tell me that you want to give up being an equal partner, Helen--?

HELEN: (**Very** raised eyebrows:) What? (Chuckles:) Oh God, no, of course not! Not after all that I've gone through to get this! (Pauses, sighs:) It's, well, it's that I'm used to doing more work, that's all.

MARIANNE: (After a moment:) Well, if you've felt this strongly, why haven't you spoken to Eric or the other partners about it?

HELEN: (Narrows eyes:) I've hinted at it, but Eric and the others either seem to always say that things are going "slow" at the moment, and that they'll pick up soon, or that as a partner, I simply don't have to do as much work anymore, (mumbles, brief scowl:) which would help to explain why _I _worked my ass off so hard before, while _they_ took up most of the afternoons with each other, playing golf... (Marianne covers her mouth and chuckles very quietly. Helen's eyes light up, embarrassed:) Oh! Marianne! You did _not_ hear that!

MARIANNE: (Quickly recovers:) Don't worry, Helen, I won't say anything. (Becomes serious:) Is not doing as much these days really that bad? You, well, have more time for your family, now. (Thought v.o.: Like **I** do…)

HELEN: (Nods:) Yes, that's true, but while I've had more time with my husband, it's been a bit more of a challenge to spend some quality time with my daughters. (Shakes head slowly, small chuckle:) Why, just last night, I was so desperate to be around Daria and Quinn, my husband and I listened in on their--(catches herself, glances at a bemused Marianne:) er, well--ahem--anyway, I hope that when Darren comes in tomorrow, we'll be able to have that time together as a family.

MARIANNE: (Smiles:) I'm sure you all will, Helen.

At that moment, Eric walked in, smiling. Marianne immediately spun back around, and resuming her typing.

ERIC: (Goes over, pats Helen on the shoulder:) _There's _my go-getter, and she's here really early! How's everything, (emphasizes:) _partner_?

HELEN: (Sighs. Marianne cuts her eyes to the side for an instant while typing:) Truth be told, Eric--? (Throws arms in the air, leans back in her chair:) It's boring! I don't have anything to do! I've just finished the Hardesty and Moore depositions in what seems to be record time, (mutters:) given that there wasn't that much to them, anyway--

ERIC: (Chuckles:) Ah! Feeling "needy" again, eh, Helen? Well, we'll both be with the other partners in a meeting in an hour or two--

HELEN: (Rolls eyes, interrupts with a long sigh:) --And afterwards, you and the others will play some golf at the Sedimentary Rock Country Club and Links as usual, I take it--?

ERIC: (Pauses, taken aback:) Why, yes, as a matter of fact, we will, Helen. We'll be meeting a few more potential clients there. You're, (pauses:) er, welcome to come, if you wish…

HELEN: (Shakes head:) No, that's okay, Eric. (Eric subtly forms a relieved expression, which Helen doesn't notice) Generally, with very few exceptions, any golf I play is with my husband, and that's only when he asks me to join him. Besides, I really don't feel like playing, anyway.

ERIC: (Pauses, cocks an eyebrow, now concerned:) Is...there anything wrong, Helen--?

HELEN: (Long stare, then shakes her head slowly:) No, Eric, there's--nothing wrong. (Marianne appears surprised that Helen would hold back, but continues to type. Helen sighs:) I guess I could take the extra time to go home early, and get ready for my son's visit tomorrow, since there's nothing to do here...

ERIC: (Brightens:) Why, that's a _wonderful_ idea, Helen! (Suddenly develops another concerned expression, narrows eyes:) _Sooo_, Darren's _definitely_ coming, eh?

HELEN: (Drops an eyebrow when she now notices Eric's demeanor:) _Yesss_, he is, unless something suddenly comes up out of the blue. (Eric appears alarmed, which Helen also notices:) But he and I don't anticipate anything. (Eric now forms a relieved expression. Helen speaks in a monotone voice:) So, we'll meet at the usual time in the conference room?

ERIC: (Smiles:) Yes, 10:00 a.m. (Pauses, adds to Helen's now-bored expression:) Look, I think we'll have, uh, a few new caseloads to discuss, Helen. (Hesitates, shrugs:) I'm, er, pretty sure of it. I'll try to insure that some of them will be your babies exclusively to handle however you wish. (Pauses to Helen's suddenly-hopeful look:) However, we'll--ahem--probably really get into them after your son leaves, (Helen cocks an eyebrow. Eric quickly adds:) since, well, you'll want to take up your off-time with him, right?

At that moment, Cindy quietly came in with Helen and Marianne's trays of food and drink, forcing Helen to pause. Cindy sat them on a nearby table beside the office's coffee maker, and returned to her desk. She then promptly resumed her typing. In her mind, though, she sensed she had returned at an awkward time, for she constantly found herself cutting her eyes to the side, listening in, which in turn slowed her typing even more. After a moment, Helen continued.

HELEN: (Falsetto voice, smile:) Now, Eric, I'm sure that I can continue to work at least a little while Darren's here--

ERIC: (Waves her off, chuckles as he backs toward the doorway:) Nonsense, Helen! After all, Darren's come here to see you and your family, and his girlfriend Joan, right? In fact, just consider taking the days off you need right after our meeting! (Pauses, stops at the doorway, adds to Helen's surprised look:) Er, you _will_ come by with Darren to say hello while you're off, right?

HELEN: (Pauses:) Of course, Eric, but really, you don't--

ERIC: (Turns, laughs:) --Atta girl! See you at 10:00! (Quickly leaves)

Helen glared after him for a moment, then sighed and rose from her seat with her empty coffee mug, going over to the table to retrieve her food. Marianne stopped typing, getting up to join her.

Helen wordlessly bit into her sandwich, chewing in a mechanical manner as she stared outside through the office's window. After taking a quick bite from her burrito and swallowing, Marianne glanced at Cindy, and then turned to Helen, speaking in a whisper.

MARIANNE: Helen, why didn't you air out your complaints for more work to Eric? It was the perfect opportunity. (Bites into her burrito)

HELEN: (Swallows after another bite, returns the whisper:) It wouldn't have made any difference, Marianne. You saw how evasive he was. (Fills her coffee mug, drinks a swig, then swallows:) Besides, he's said that there's going to be more work coming down the pike.

MARIANNE: (Mild eyeroll:) Don't tell me that you really _believe _that? Hasn't he promised you that a few times before? (Helen remains silent, bites into her sandwich. Marianne hesitates:) I'm sorry, Helen, but if you ask _me, _Eric sounded as if he were making that up yet _again_, like he's done several times previously! I don't think that even _he_ knows it himself for sure! (Bites into her burrito, speaks while chewing:) And what about those questions that he asked about Darren, making sure that he'd be with you when you said "hello" on your off days, as if you _had _to come in? (Pauses:) Why, if I didn't know any better, I'd think--

HELEN: (Interrupts, annoyed:) --Yes, yes, I _know_ what you're going to say, Marianne, (pauses, scowls:) that all Eric, and yes, the other partners care about is meeting Darren and his billions again! Dammit, don't you think that I don't know that?! (Marianne is taken aback) I _know_ the only reason why I had gotten the partnership was because of Darr--(Cindy now overhears, stops for a moment, looks over at the two, concerned. Helen covers, grins, in her falsetto voice:) Oh, ah, it's nothing, sweetie! We're just disputing about the, er, Wendell case! Keep typing, hmmm--? (Cindy gives her an odd look for a moment with Marianne, then she resumes her typing)

Helen sighed, and then slumped a little. She glanced out of the office's window again.

HELEN: (Resuming her whisper:) I'm--sorry for snapping at you like that, Marianne.

MARIANNE: (After a moment, ditto with the whisper, smiles:) It's alright, Helen. I shouldn't have inferred what I thought Eric had done concerning your son. I was way out of line. Sorry. (Quickly bites into her burrito again)

HELEN: (Pauses, nods as she continues to look through the window, far off tone:) No. No, you were right to hint at that, the same for me pointing it out literally. My being Darren's birth mother helped me to acquire the partnership, there's _no_ doubt about that... (bites into her sandwich)

MARIANNE: (Pauses, then adds:) Okay, even if that's true, Helen, (hesitates:) and it probably _is_, you still got it, albeit in a roundabout way, but you got it, and you deserved it. Eric and the others probably wanted to do business with Darren through you, but that doesn't take away the fact that you're a very good lawyer. Nobody around here earned their way to the partnership more than you.

HELEN: (Turns to Marianne, small smile:) Why, thank you, Marianne. I really appreciate your words.

MARIANNE: (Smiles:) And I _meant_ them, Helen. (Pauses, more serious expression:) What will you do now?

HELEN: (Sighs:) I--don't know, Marianne. Maybe I'll just follow Eric's idea, take the rest of the day off after the meeting, and go home to get my head together, not to mention getting ready to meet my son. Excuse me; I'm going to freshen up for the meeting. Be sure to have your notes ready for the Hardesty and Moore deposition presentations. (Heads towards the office's restroom, tosses the tiny remnant of her sandwich into a nearby waste basket, goes in)

Marianne stared after Helen, shaking her head slowly. She then finished her burrito, chewing wordlessly, deep in thought. After a moment, Cindy stopped her typing, spun around, and stared meekly at Marianne.

CINDY: Um, Marianne--?

MARIANNE: (Shaken out her thoughts:) Hm--? Oh, what is it, Cindy?

CINDY: Is—(pauses:) everything okay with Helen? I couldn't help but to wonder--

MARIANNE: (Drops an admonishing eyebrow, slips into her commanding tone, sharply interrupts:) --Helen's _fine_, Cindy. (Cindy flinches) You and I need to finish these papers before the end of the day. (Goes over to her desk, sits down, begins to type)

CINDY: (Taken aback:) I-I'm sorry for asking, Marianne. I just wanted to know if anything was wrong... (slowly spins back, begins to type again)

Marianne sighed, and then stopped typing. She spun around.

MARIANNE: (Softer tone:) Cindy--?

CINDY: (Stops typing, turns back:) Yes, Marianne?

MARIANNE: Look, I'm sorry for talking to you like that, okay? It's just not a good time for Helen right now, all right? She needs to have some quiet time to herself, and I think she'll be leaving early today to get that after the daily meeting.

CINDY: (Pauses:) Okay, Marianne, I understand--(turns around, begins typing again)

MARIANNE: (Pauses:) There's something else I'd like to add, Cindy. (Cindy stops her typing, turns around again) I also wanted to apologize for the way I've been treating you ever since you first came here... (Cindy shows a surprised expression)

_(Scene Eight: Jake's office, the same time. Like Helen, he's arrived at his job early, and is on the phone. Just outside his office's opened door, there is a gray-haired, heavy-set woman in her late fifties, dressed in a white blouse and jeans typing at her desk)_

JAKE: (Nods:) Sure, Mr. Hennigan, I can look at the top hat-dancing penguins idea, but I can't promise you anything. (Pauses:) A meeting tomorrow? Well, I'm afraid not. My son's coming to town, and I plan to be off for the days that he's visiting. (Pauses, sighs, weary answer:) Yes, _that _Darren Appleton, the one you've seen on TV. (Pauses:) No, I'm sorry, but my son's basically here to relax, and he doesn't really to want to talk too much about any potential business projects while he's here, like those penguins. (Pauses:) No, that's okay, no offense taken. Look, how about you and me meeting here early next week, _sayyy_, Tuesday at 9 a.m.? (Pauses, grins:) You can? Great! See you then!

Jake hung up the phone wearily, and leaned back in his chair.

_Whew! This is already the eighth call I've had this morning, all in the last 45 minutes! Boy, business has been comin' down the pike lately, hasn't it? Heck, I've had to come in even earlier recently just to keep up! I don't think I've **ever **worked this hard before, not even for that tyrant bastard on my old job, just before I became a consultant on my own while we stayed in Highland! When in the hell did all of **this **happen?_

Jake stared forward in space for a moment in realization.

_Oh, yeah, when my son came into my—our family's lives. _

Jake sighed, suddenly leaning forward, and then put both of his elbows on the desk. He stared forward in space again while he held his chin in his hands, and then frowned briefly.

_Then again, the only reason so many darn offers are coming my way now is **because** of my son and his zillions of bucks. Those jerks wouldn't have even noticed me if it weren't for Darren! Well, at least I showed them all by giving out some damn good ideas, which they all took! I was a good consultant even before we found my son, and I'm one hell of a businessman outside of that, to boot! Hah! Take **that**, Old Man!_

Jake then sat back again, this time looking weary.

_Still, it's been so much work. At least I've made myself get off at five, most of the time, no matter how much stuff I had left on my desk. Andrew and the others have tried to get me to work more hours, which kinda bugs me since they don't seem to wanna see me during my **off**-hours, though Andrew will occasionally join me for a drink, and **that's** really rare in itself. ****_

_Why is that, I wonder? Am I **that **bad to have as a friend, for crying out loud?! It's a good thing I'll be playin' some golf with my son while he's here, though Angier Sloane will be playing with us, too, after he practically begged his son to ask for a little get-together on the local golf course. It's more than likely because Angier's hoping he can handle some of my son's company stocks, and stuff..._

_I've at least kept Landon, Taylor, and Hopkins off my back when I casually tell them that Darren wouldn't be pleased if he heard that I was harassed by them. I'm not complaining about the extra work, really, but I don't wanna run myself into the ground like Helen, answering cell phone calls at home all of the time, and--waitasec--Helen isn't doing that anymore, is she? In fact, I don't recall artsy-smartsy Eric calling since, well, since Helen's become an equal partner at her job… _

_Now when I think about it, she's been at home more often than not when I come in. We've even cooked some dishes together from Henri's e-mailed recipes. I've liked having more private time with you, honey. I'll bet you're **so** happy with less stuff to do these days on your job! You deserve it, after bringing in most of the bacon all of these years. Now, it's **my** turn to catch up, and make up for it…_

Jake then smiled.

_I've tried to spend some more time with Daria and Quinn, but like me, they seem so busy in their lives, too. My Kiddo's out with Tim--no, wait, that "Tom" guy when Jane-o's up at Darren's, and she's having the time of her life, I bet! Having a boyfriend's gonna do wonders for her! I just hope that they don't do anything, well, ewww! _

_Nah. Daria's smarter than that, and even if they do, well, Tom seems nice and responsible enough, the same for Jane-o, who I **know** is. I think she and Darren will be careful enough if they, uh, do it, and even if my grandchild is born by "accident", my son will have plenty of moolah to help raise him, not that having money could replace love, of course, but it sure can cover the baby's needs. I just hope if things get that serious, they'll marry, especially after the fact. Hm--if a baby **is **born to those two, I wonder if he or she will be a Morgendorffer, or an Appleton? Oh, God, I really haven't thought about that! I'd love the Morgendorffer name, of course, but I know my son's proud of his last name, not that I could blame him. Maybe the baby could have a Morgendorffer-Appleton name? I could accept that. As for Quinn…_

Jake suddenly frowned, and made a fist, shaking it in a fury.

_Damn that Turley! He screwed up everything, didn't he?! I should've smelled that sleeping stuff that he put on my mask that night, whatever the hell it was, knew immediately that he was trying to knock me out, then ripped it off, and kicked his ass! Yeah! Kicked his--his--oh, crap, who am I kidding? I **did **smell the stuff, and it put me right out. All of those crappy years, I thought I had fainted, and failed my wife on the most important night of our lives. At least it lessened the guilt when I found out that I didn't faint, along with our discovering that our son was still alive._

Jake formed a sad expression, looking into space.

_Kinda did, anyway. Missed almost twenty years with my son no matter how I look at it. Probably best that I did, with that nightmare I had the other night. I hated lying to Helen about it when I accidentally woke her up, using my Old Man as the fall guy, but it was so crappy scary, realistic, and horrible--! _

Jake developed a deep scowl, worse than before, in fact perhaps the worst he had shown in years.

_"Doctor" Turley, I'm sure you're with my Old Man in hell, you bastard! I hope you both burn forever with that Willard guy--no, wait, William guy. Yeah, that's him, Darren's dead uncle…_

Jake quickly shook his head, grinning.

_Dammit, I'm getting into my own little world, again. Helen's tried to keep me focused when I do that, bless her heart, and by golly, I'm gonna give it the ol' college try! **I** plan to stay alive, and not have another heart attack, no siree!_

_Where was I? Oh, yeah, my other daughter. Quinn's been really busy with her little friends and their fashion stuff, whatever it is, and she seems happy enough. At least she looks like she's gotten past her old tutor, that Denton fella. Helen told me about our Princess' developing little crush on him. Aw, that was so** cuuuute! **_

_No, wait, it wasn't Denton. Was it Dennard? No, that's not it, either. Who the hell **was** it? Damien? No. Dreven? No. Dinky? No…_

The next instant, Jake's desk phone intercom came on. A booming, gravelly-sounding, female voice came over the speaker. At the same time, the woman in the outer office leaned over far enough from her desk to glance in, grinning as she held down her button, and spoke in her sending speaker.

VOICE: Jake? It's Agnes! You've got a call on line three! (Jake sighs. Yet another call. No rest for the wary.) It's Calvin Hopkins, your former rival-now-kiss-ass-minion! (Sneers, amused:) Aren't _you _the busy one today? (Releases button, resumes typing)

Jake couldn't help but to chuckle as he briefly eyed Agnes. Ever since he decided to get a secretary to help him, at Helen's insistence (something he still wondered about until this day, particularly since she didn't ask for **his** help when she chose one for herself only a few days earlier), he came to appreciate the feisty older woman, with her excellent bookkeeping, typing, and phone-answering skills, ironic in itself when he wondered about her mild, scathing remarks, something that briefly reminded him of Daria. In fact, the two sort of hit it off when they first met.

It was a few days ago, when he had an evening dinner business meeting with a female client. Jake had called Daria from the office after he remembered that she had gotten out of school, and had asked her to borrow her mother's SUV to drop off his dry-cleaned suit, since he didn't have the time to come right home and change. Jake figured he could get Daria to do the favor, which, of course Daria did--right after Jake had bribed her $20 after she asked, for which he didn't mind, since he was rolling in the dough these days. Jake had told Agnes offhandedly beforehand that a "young lady" was coming to bring his suit, but in a typical fashion for him, had forgotten to tell her it was his eldest daughter.

When Daria entered the office with his suit, Agnes bluntly remarked in a joking way that is was bad enough the "young lady" was seeing a married older man after hours, but to bring in his clothes herself took the cake, since she should've allowed him get his own funeral suit to be buried in.

Daria, being caught off-guard momentarily, smirked briefly, and quickly retorted before a shocked Jake could speak in her defense that the suit was for Jake's birthday, not for a funeral, though his wife _would _probably kill and bury him in it if she _had _caught him cheating.

Jake frowned a little at this, confused while Agnes chuckled, and Daria continued to smirk. He finally (and actually) got it after a minute, and laughed out loud. Daria and Agnes, now by this time conversing casually, and of having introduced themselves to one another, stopped and looked at him stoically. After a moment, Jake, embarrassed, meekly went in and locked his office door to change.

By the time Jake had left his office, his daughter had gone, but Agnes was still there, chuckling at how she liked Daria's sense of humor, and how she hoped to meet her again soon. Jake couldn't help but to be stunned at his secretary's delight, or even how Daria had actually taken to talking to someone so casually and apparently nicely the first time she had met them. Jake couldn't help but to beam proudly went he thought his little Kidd—

AGNES: (Leaning over the desk, waving her right hand in his face:) HEY, EARTH TO JAKE! IS ANYONE THERE?!

JAKE: (Shaken out of his reverie, blinks:) Huh?! Uhh, Agnes--?

AGNES: (Mild eyeroll:) Sheesh, Jake! You've been out of it for a few, haven't you? For a second there, I thought you were in a diabetic coma, or something! The ass-kisser Hopkins is waiting on the phone, remember? There are also four other messages that I took for you while you were in la-la land. They're on your desk.

JAKE: Oh, uh, yeah, I forgot! Sorry about that, Agnes, and thanks for the messages! (Quickly grabs the phone as Agnes shakes her head, but shows a small, almost sympathetic smirk, leaves the office)

_(Scene Nine: Lawndale High, a few minutes later. Quinn, Sandi, and Tiffany arrive at the front of the school, their faces lined with concern)_

SANDI: (Stops with the others at the front glass doors:) This is most worrisome, Quinn. Who knew that these—ugh--dust mites existed? We've got to do something to get them out of our rooms, somehow! Who knows what might happen? They could eventually destroy our make-up or clothes by systematically feasting on them a little at a time! I simply _cannot_ go to school, like, with holes in my Giamanti blouse!

QUINN: (Shudders:) I know, Sandi, and what's worse, the dust mites can't be seen at all! They're even invisible to the naked eye!

TIFFANY: Naked...? Ewww...

SANDI: (Sighs:) Tiffany dear, that's just a play on words.

TIFFANY: Oh...yeah...like an orange dress...really isn't...an orange.

QUINN: (Gives her a brief, odd look with Sandi:) Um, yeah, Tiffany, like that.

The three entered the front doors, where they saw Ms. Li waiting for them with crossed arms--as well as a sad-looking Stacy standing beside her. Before the other Fashion Clubbers could say a word, Stacy suddenly ran over, and wrapped her arms around a stunned Sandi in a crushing hold while crying frantically. Ms. Li narrowed her eyes.

STACY: I'm _soooo_ sorry, Sandi! Please forgive me for that outburst! I didn't mean to bite your head off, I wasn't myself!

SANDI: (While struggling to breathe, as well as trying to escape Stacy's iron grip:) Okay, Stacy, it's--alright! Now--let--me--go! (Stacy continues to hold on for dear life. Quinn shows a tiny smile of relief, while Tiffany appears blank, as usual)

MS. LI: (Comes over while Sandi continues to try and pry Stacy off of her:) _Whaaat_ exactly is going on here, ladies? Miss Rowe entered these halls with a _saaad_ expression, and when I asked her what was wrong, she became so upset, she couldn't tell me, preferring to wait for all of you! (Sandi tries to answer, but gasps instead under Stacy's grip)

QUINN: Oh, uh, it's just a little misunderstanding about, um, some fashions, Ms. Li. Sorry about the scene, it has nothing to do with the school, right, Tiffany? (Gives a quick nod of the head to Tiffany, who cocks a confused eyebrow, then simply nods)

MS. LI: (After a moment glances at Sandi's continued struggling:) _Weeeell_, since it seems that Miss Rowe is quite--(pauses:) repentant over her actions, whatever they were, I suppose I can allow this to pass. (Pauses, narrows eyes:) However, we _waaaant_ your brother to have the best impression of our school, and sudden outbursts like this while he's here will _not_ help! Do you understand, Miss Morgendorffer?

QUINN: (Thought v.o.: God, Daria's right. You definitely want my bro's money pretty badly, an' you're determined to make sure everything's "perfect", aren't you?) (Perky smile:) Sure, Ms. Li! No problem! I'm sure everything will work out when Darren visits tomorrow afternoon, you'll see!

MS. LI: (Stern nod:) See to it that it does! (Suddenly puts on her own perky smile and tone:) Well, now, let's go over the final decorative preparations, ladies! Follow me! (Starts to walk down the hallway, followed by Quinn and Tiffany)

A frazzled Sandi finally was able to get Stacy off, though Stacy stayed right behind her, looking miserable. Both girls joined the others. Sandi suddenly turned to Stacy while they were walking.

SANDI: (Small frown, glances back:) Um, _Sta--cccy,_ I need some space, okay? You're, like, _crowding_ me…

STACY: (Jumps back, timidly:) Oh! Um, sorry, Sandi!

SANDI: (Narrows eyes:) I, er, need to speak to Quinn. (Pauses, adds in what she hopes to pass as her old, frosty tone:) _Alone. _We need to, uh, decide your, uh, punishment for, um, defying me. (Adds with a pseudo-mock tone to Stacy's stunned expression:) After all, you said that you didn't care if I punished you, right? (Quinn overhears this, glances back) Go on ahead with Ms. Li and Tiffany.

STACY: (Weakly responds:) I—I—yeah, I _did _say that, didn't I? (Sandi nods firmly, convinced Stacy's cowered. Stacy slumps, and walks forward. Sandi, using her head, subtly motions to Quinn)

QUINN: Um, could you excuse me, Ms. Li? I think Sandi wants to talk to me about something in private--

MS. LI: (Slight scowl, stops with Tiffany, hard sigh, and impatient tone:) Oh, bother! Very well, Miss Morgendorffer, but could you please _huuuurry?_ (Glances at her wristwatch:) As principal of _Laaaaaawndale _High, I have many duties on my plate to perform today, so be quick!

QUINN: (Thought v.o.: Yeah, I'll **bet **you do, like, feeding your drug-sniffing dogs in the early morning first, or something…:) --I'll just be a second, I promise! (Quickly walks past a still-slumped Stacy, who drags herself over to Tiffany and Ms. Li)

QUINN: (In a low voice as she comes over:) Sandi--? Are you really gonna punish Stacy? I sorta thought after she apologized--

SANDI: (Ditto with her low voice, waves her off:) --No, of course not, (adds hesitantly, playfully smirks:) tempting as it is. Even if I really had the heart to, it, like, would've been a mere half-day fashion sabbatical, or something. Look, it's because of what Stacy just did. I really wanted to ask if we're still going to check on Bliss' new e-mail and telephone number, or whatever. It seems pointless to do so now, what, with Stacy crying her head off, and stuff. I don't think anything's weird, anymore. I'm willing to drop it, if you are.

QUINN: (After a moment:) Maybe you're right, Sandi. I mean, if Stacy's really sorry, and it looked as if she was, then it's probably best if we just let it go--

MS. LI: (Suddenly interrupts from the side, delighted tone:) What? But this is _wooonderful _news! (Quinn and Sandi look in her direction, and then walk over. Stacy gives Tiffany a brief glare, then appears miserable)

QUINN: What's going on? What's wonderful news?

MS. LI: (Smiling:) Why, Miss Rowe's winning the Bliss Cosmetics sweepstakes interview, of course! Miss Blum-deckler _juuuust_ informed me of it! She said that you two knew as well this morning when Miss Rowe informed you!

TIFFANY: (Shrugs:) I was...just making some...small talk...that's all...

STACY: (Thought v.o., sadly sighs mentally: Which matches your small brain, Tiffany...)

MS. LI: This must be immediately reported in the school's newspaper for the glory of _Laaaaaaaawndale _High! Imagine--one of our own, making it in the cosmetic world!

STACY: (Now suddenly sounding and looking **very **nervous, puts her right hand up:) _N-No!_ That's all right, Ms. Li! (Quinn and Sandi glance at each other for an instant, surprised) You don't have to go to the trouble of doing that, really! It's just an interview for one day, then I'll come right back! (Quickly reaches into her purse, takes out a slip of paper:) Oh! Uh, here's my signed excuse from my parents to be out of school, by the way. (Ms. Li takes and reads the slip of paper) I don't even know if I'll be able to model for the company, for sure, so this really isn't such a big deal--

MS. LI: (Ignores Stacy while placing the excuse slip in her suit pocket, into her own world:) --Nonsense, Miss Rowe! I'll speak to the _Lowdown's _editor, Miss Landon, and by this afternoon, the entire school will read about your newfound success! (Stacy suddenly looks sick) This will encourage other students to pursue their dreams of success as well for their future endeavors! (Thought v.o.: And make **me** look good in the process. Should I call the local media--? [Pauses:] Perhaps I'll wait on that, unless Miss Rowe's rewarded with the job. We can't be **too** assumptive, can we?)

STACY: B-But, I--I... (slumps in defeat:) oh, sure, okay…

MS. LI: Excellent! Now, let's take one last look at the welcome decorations, _laaadies_! (Immediately strides off, followed by Tiffany, and a worried-looking Stacy. After a moment, Quinn and Sandi follow)

SANDI: (Leans over to Quinn, whispers:) Did you, like, see the way Stacy reacted? It's almost like she didn't want Ms. Li to spread her good news about the Bliss interview! You'd think she'd be happy, like when she broke the news to us!

QUINN: (Cocks an eyebrow:) Stacy _didn't _want Ms. Li to know, which is really weird_._ I think we'd better check those e-mail and phone numbers, after all. Something's not quite right, here… (thought v.o.: I wonder if I should talk to Daria about this? Maybe I will when I see her…) (She and Sandi walk a bit faster to catch up to the others)

_(Scene Ten: The newly-renamed Lawndale County Regional Airport, the same time. A small Cessna plane has just landed, and several people are exiting the craft down the plane's fold-down stairs with their small carry-on luggage. One of them is a tall, burly-looking, yet attractive woman wearing sunglasses, and a wide brim white hat. The woman also appears to have been perspiring heavily, which actually causes her to look even more, ahem, attractive...)_

Tina, also wearing a light, white tube top, sneakers, and sweat pants, rubbed her lower back with her left hand whileholding her large, white duffel bag over her right shoulder. She simultaneously began walking toward the airport's terminal with the plane's other passengers, all the while glaring at some of the male passengers, who had eagerly offered to help her with the bag. One of them swallowed hard, and walked up to Tina from behind, breaking away from the others.

MAN: (Timidly, while two others stop by to watch what will happen. They all had made a bet to see if one of them could hit on her first.:) Are you _sure_ you don't need any help with--?

TINA: (Turns, scowls and snarls, shows her left fist:) --For the last damn time, no! Now, beat it before I turn you into a pretzel! (The man runs off, terrified, with the other male passengers) (Thought v.o., winces: Small, cramped, damn, lousy, passenger seats, broken-down air conditioners, **and** fresh jerks! I **knew** I should've taken a larger, roomier, jet, even though it would've meant I'd have to land at Washington-Baltimore, Dulles, or Reagan National, and had to have driven a rental car here, but nooo, Tina, **you** decided to be a cheap ass! Oh, well, I think I punished myself enough on that plane for my stupidity. Now to get a taxi, and to check out this "Lawndale" place incognito after I find a motel, rest, and--yeesh--call Elenor, and give her the first of my promised "progress reports". [Smirks:] That was the only way she'd go along with this. Hopefully, I won't run into anyone from Darren's family, Jane, Krystal, Daria's boyfriend Tom Sloane, Quinn's friends, or Jane's brother Trent while I'm here, not to mention Darren himself...)

Tina rolled her eyes and snorted, stopping for an instant.

TINA: (Thought v.o.: Yeah, **right**, Tina. That'll be like going into a really thick forest, and trying to avoid touching the trees. Well, I plan to stay only half the time Darren's here, anyway. I'll just have to take my chances, and try to stay out of sight as much as possible, maybe going at dusk, or something. If I end up running across anybody I saw at the mansion, I'll just have to 'fess up—[pauses:] and to prepare to look for another job after a pissed-off Darren fires me for thinking that I "shadowed" him like he was still a little boy.)

Tina shrugged, and then resumed her walk toward the airport's terminal.

_(Scene Eleven: Back to Lawndale High, a few hours later. It's the late afternoon, and the final bell has rung. The school day is now over. Daria and Jane exit Mrs. Bennett's class with other students.)_

JANE: (Grins, throws arms in air:) Alleluia! We're free at last from the shackles of our oppressors, amiga!

DARIA: (Smirks:) You mean, until it starts all over again tomorrow, right?

JANE: (Shrugs:) Hey, your brother and my boyfriend will be here by then to make our daily prison stay more bearable. (Grins:) We can thumb our noses at the guards while we walk around with him.

DARIA: I suppose you have a point, though I wouldn't be surprised if warden Li would only allow us to see him in the glassed-off meeting room for the standard minute or two. (Pauses, hesitates:) Of course, um, when you think about it further, it really hasn't been so bad here in prison for our senior year so far--

JANE: (**Very** raised eyebrows, smiles:) Doth my ears deceive me? Did I hear Daria Morgendorffer just say something optimistic?

DARIA: (Mild frown:) Allow me to finish my observation before you deem that I've suddenly joined the human race, okay? What I mean is that we've been treated like royalty because of my brother and your boyfriend by practically everyone here. We've had _respect_, Jane. Us. You and me.

JANE: And this is bad, how, for the 50th time--? You didn't seem to mind that what you said earlier about Ms. Li seeing us coming in late rang true, no pun intended, since all she did was to give us a mild lecture after the first tardy bell. (Wicked smirk:) I practically _loved _how she kowtowed to us while she did it. (Adds, even nastier smirk:) And let's not forget Ms. Morris' little teeth-grinding grin while saying, "Okay, sure, you two!" when we asked to be excused from gym.

DARIA: (Smirks:) Don't get me wrong, it's not that it's so bad, just that it's so--unnatural. I've been thinking about this a lot more and more throughout the day. I'm _used_ to being treated like an outcast. I'm _used_ to the indifference our fellow students gave us. Hell, it's given me a reason for my vaunted cynicism.

JANE: (Cocked eyebrow:) _Annnd…?_

DARIA: (Pauses, looks off:) And now...look, I don't like what I perceive as having an advantage because of Darren's wealth, be it on my writing job, or anywhere else. The only reason why we're getting all of this ass-kissing is because of Darren's pending donation to the school. I mean, our fellow students and teachers have practically been _smiling_ at us in a very scary way, and even Mr. O'Neill has gone out his way to be nice to us--on top of how he's _always _been. _That _is scary, even to me. Frowns I can take, but _smiles_? You know the old saying about people who are smiling having something to hide...

JANE: Chalk _that _up to Li's influence, Daria. You know how she's whipped the school up into tip-top shape for Darren's visit, and that's just not the flowers and banners speaking. So what if some people are sucking up, particularly the snobs who used to want us to suck up to _them_? (In a bit of a bitter voice:) I'm gonna milk it for all that it's worth. I think I've earned it after all of the crap I've taken over the years while I grew up because I was "different". (Daria cocks an eyebrow, stays silent) Besides, not all of the students and teachers have acted phony toward us, you know. Ms. Defoe hasn't, thank God. The same goes for Ms. Barch, who seems to me to _really_ want to speak to Darren when he visits. I heard her tell one of the teachers the other day about her wanting to meet him again, but she didn't go into detail.

DARIA: (Inquisitive expression:) _This_ is news to me. What in the hell would Ms. Barch want to speak to my brother about, other than telling him how much she hates his male presence?

JANE: (Shrugs:) Hey, I dunno, don't look at _me_, I'm as concerned as _you _are about that. (Half-serious tone, weak grin:) Maybe she wants to finish him off from the first time they met--? (Daria gives her a half-serious, worried look. Jane quickly returns to the main subject:) Anyway, even Mr. DeMartino's been his usual, jolly self. Jodie and Mack haven't changed, either. They're still the typical, nice, goody-goody two shoes, popular, token, African-American Lawndale High students that we know and love.

DARIA: (Cuts eyes to the side, stops with Jane:) Speaking of popular, here comes Lawndale High's popular version of "Dumb to Dumbest", (adds, sighs, slumps:) _again_... (Jane follows Daria's stare, rolls her eyes, annoyed)

Kevin and Brittany walked up to the two, smiling with their usual, goofy, and/or vacant grins.

BRITTANY: (Squeaks:) Hi, Daria! Hi, Jane!

KEVIN: Yeah, hey Daria, Jane!

DARIA: (Deadpan, annoyed tone:) Hello for the fifth time today, Kevin and Brittany.

JANE: (Ditto:) Yo for the fifth time today as well, Kevin and Brittany.

BRITTANY: (Oblivious like Kevin to their annoyed tones, of course:) Wow! That's _five_ times we've seen you two today? I guess that means you both are pretty popular now, huh, since popular people like Kevin and I have been seen with you by everybody?

KEVIN: (Nods frantically:) Yeah! (Smug look, taps chest with his football:) You two should be so lucky!

JANE: (To Daria:) Should I just hit my head on these lockers trying to figure out what they both meant?

DARIA: Don't waste your time. The potential pain's not worth it.

BRITTANY: (After a moment:) Umm, anyway, Daria, when's your cute-- (glances at Jane, quickly changes:) _eep! _I mean, your brother supposed to come again? (Jane gives her a brief, amused expression) I was asking because I'm--my dad was planning to have a party in our home while he was here, you know, and he'd be invited, (quickly adds:) uhmmm, along with you, that "Tim" guy, Jane, and Quinn, of course...

DARIA: (Sighs:) For the fifth time today, Brittany, tomorrow morning to Lawndale, then to the school tomorrow afternoon. As for the invitation, that's up to Darren and that "Tim" guy.

JANE: (Smirks at Daria:) We'll get back to you on that, okay?

BRITTANY: (Pauses, perks up:) Okay! (Quickly adds:) Uh, oh, yeah! Could you two please not tell Darren about the welcome cheer the cheerleaders are gonna give him when he comes? (Daria and Jane glance at each other, mildly surprised) We want it to be a surprise! No one outside of us knows!

DARIA: (Slight smirk:) Sure, Brittany. I'll be sure to _especially_ not to tell Quinn. (Jane chuckles. Brittany and Kevin glance at each other, baffled) In fact, I'd kinda like for her to be there when you do the cheer. It's a--personal request, you see.

BRITTANY: (Grins:) Thanks, Daria! Sure, we can wait for Quinn!

KEVIN: (Nods, grins:) And Darren will have more of the invisible formula when he comes, right? I'm real sure Darren hasn't given up trying, no matter what he told me! I, like, can _feel_ it, and stuff! C'mon, Daria, you gotta tell me—he's got some more invisible stuff stashed away, right?

DARIA: (Now another annoyed expression. Yes, she and Jane have heard **this** for the fifth time today, as well:) Kevin, once again times five, there's _no--_ (notices Kevin with his blank look that screams, "I **know** he has one, so tell me." Once he gets into this mode, Daria knows it's impossible to get him out of it without driving it through his brain once and for all. She sighs:) okay, fine, you finally got me. There _is_ one. (Jane drops her eyebrow at Daria in surprise. Daria gives a very quick wink at her to play along)

BRITTANY: (Squeaks, jumps up and down in anticipation:) Oooh! You _were_ right, Kevie!

KEVIN: (Swings his fist in triumph:) Ha! Of _course_ I was, babe! I knew that if we kept at it, we'd get the invisible stuff from her! (Looks around:) Where is it, Daria?

DARIA: (Reaches in her book bag over her shoulder, "grabs" something:) Here it is. It's in a vial. (Opens left hand out to Kevin:) Darren wanted to give it to you himself, but he's told me that if you couldn't wait until he got here, then to just let you have it.

KEVIN: (Looks at Daria's open hand, scratches head:) Uhhh, I can't see anything, Daria!

BRITTANY: (Timidly reaches her forefinger into Daria's open hand, "picks":) I can't feel anything, either!

DARIA: Hello--? It's invisible, remember? You won't be able to do either.

JANE: (Casual tone:) The invisibility completely covers the liquid _and _the vial, you see. (Pauses, quickly adds:) Or, uh, _don't _see.

KEVIN & BRITTANY: (Finally getting it, smiles:) Oh, yeah! That makes sense! (Kevin starts to reach for "vial", but Daria "snatches" it away)

DARIA: However, I must warn you: Darren's said that if this doesn't work, he's not gonna try and make anymore, going on _your _experience. He's said he's too tired from trying to make it again because the formula was destroyed, as he told you before. This was his 100th and final attempt, (adds with mock-emphasis, narrows eyes:) _forever_. There will be no more tries.

JANE: (Jumps in:) Also, Darren's told me that he wants you to sign an agreement which will keep you from suing him if it fails at any time, Kevin. (Reaches into her backpack, pulls out a piece of paper and a pen:) Here, sign this form.

BRITTANY: (Slight frown, steps in front of Kevin:) _Ohhh_, no you don't, Jane! I've heard about signing stuff without first reading the fine print! (Pauses, narrows eyes as she twirls the end of her blonde ponytail around her finger:) My dad screams about that sometimes, for some reason… (shrugs, snatches paper from Jane:) lemme read it, just to be sure... (reads)

DARIA: (Very low voice to Jane:) Undoubtedly, she means the mistake her dad made concerning his large divorce settlement with the first Mrs. Taylor... (Jane smirks)

BRITTANY: (Scowls, looks up at them:) Hey! There's nothing on this paper!

JANE: (Casual shrug and tone:) Of course not. (Pauses, calmly adds:) It's written in invisible ink for security purposes, you know, in case this agreement falls into the wrong hands of his competitors. (Kevin and Brittany look at each other, confused)

DARIA: (Joins in, speaks to the two as if they're children, slowly:) My brother created an invisible formula, and therefore, he can create invisible _ink_--?

KEVIN & BRITTANY: (Getting it finally again, smiles:) Oh, yeah! Wow, he's smart!

Kevin quickly signed "Kevien" on the paper, giving it back to Jane, and gingerly "took" the "vial" from Daria. He eagerly and lustily looked down at his open left hand "holding" the "vial" while holding his football in his right one, grinning like an idiot. Brittany merely stared at Kevin's open hand in awe. In the background, some students gave them odd looks as they walked by. Daria and Jane took that as their cue to leave, wordlessly rounding a nearby corner in the hallway.

JANE: (While both are walking:) I'm glad you finally put the invisibility thing to rest, amiga. As much as it pains me to admit it, they actually were beginning to grate on my nerves.

DARIA: Mine, too, though I find myself in no pain whatsoever--(adds:) and that takes a lot, especially from those two. Once (takes, glances at Jane's paper:) "Kevien" finds out that it doesn't "work" we won't have to worry about him harassing Darren over it while my brother's visiting. (Balls up, throws paper in a nearby trash can)

JANE: (Smirks:) When d'you think Kevien will test his invisibility?

DARIA: As soon as we leave, of course. (Smirks:) Want to wager on where Kevien will meet his doom?

JANE: (Grins:) _Oh _yeah. (Pauses:) Pizza as the wager?

DARIA: But of course. A large one with all the works, save those damn anchovies, tomorrow. (Jane nods in agreement. Daria pauses, slight smile:) Let's see--I say one of the teachers will lay him out because Kevien will try to harass them while he's "invisible".

JANE: (Shakes head:) Naw. (Pauses:) I say a girl or two or three or more will kick Kevien's ass because he'll try to get into their locker room while he's "invisible", thenBrittany will finish him off, and make him wish he _was_ invisible. (Daria shows her Mona Lisa smile) Guess we'll find out tomorrow in the _Lowdown, _huh?

DARIA: Yeah. (Pauses:) Speaking of the _Lowdown, _(takes out the school's newspaper from her book bag, unfolds it, looks at the headline:) what did you think about the article on Stacy's good luck with winning an interview for that Bliss Cosmetics stuff? Quinn ran into me earlier today in the hallway between classes, by the way. She sounded pretty skeptical about it for some reason, saying something didn't jibe, because Stacy didn't sound happy that Ms. Li found out about it, yet Stacy was over-the-top excited about telling the Fashion Club. And get this; Stacy let Sandi verbally have it when Sandi sounded skeptical about her winning.

JANE: (Wide-eyed:) _What?!_ Stacy got all bitchy on _Sandi?!_ (Looks around:) Gadzooks, Rod Sterling's ghost must be around here somewhere!

DARIA: (Mock-scans, deadpan:) Well, _I _don't see him around here, my fellow ghost buster. Anyway, she said she and Sandi are gonna check it out at Sandi's place, with Tiffany, after school. Stacy's going to go straight home, so she can work on her "responses" to any of the possible interview questions, and then pack.

JANE: (Shrugs:) I haven't really read the article yet, though I heard some talk here and there. The world of cosmetics doesn't exactly interest me, you understand, save for my trusty lipstick. I'd rather smear some of that crap together on a canvas for an art project, or something. I'd call it, "Beauty is Only Canvas Deep".

DARIA: (Slight smirk:) Yet, you didn't seem to mind when some of that "crap" was smeared on your _face_ when you dated my brother, and you kept that skimpy red dress--?

JANE: (Slaps forehead gently:) Dammit! Keep rubbing it in, why don't you?

DARIA: (Keeps the smirk:) On your face? You bet, or better yet, the Fashion Club will do it for me.

JANE: (Holding down her annoyance:) _Getting_ back to Stacy, it seems kinda weird for her to not want to spread the good news, huh?

DARIA: (Slight frown after a moment:) Yeah, it does. Makes you wonder if she's hiding something.

JANE: (Pauses:) What? Our dear little Stacy? (Snorts:) What could _she_ possibly be hiding, save for her modesty?

DARIA: Look at the evidence: Stacy breaks character by snapping at Sandi, plus her happiness at telling the Fashion Club about her good news, yet she was down when Ms. Li found out. Why?

JANE: (Shrugs:) Dunno. (Adds:) Go on.

DARIA: (Pauses, frowns:) I find myself wondering if Rory McKinna is in on this, for some reason...

JANE: (Cocked eyebrow:) Huh? _That_jerk? He's stinking up Maness! (Pauses, realizes:) Hold it. You think this has something to do with his trying to get with Stacy again?

DARIA: Maybe, maybe not. I think I'll ask Quinn some more about Stacy's good luck when she comes home later. We might have to contact Darren before he arrives, so he could ask Krystal what her brother's up to. (Both exit through the front doors. Daria smirks:) Pizza before you owe me another one tomorrow?

JANE: (Returns smirk:) Sure, but don't count your pepperonis before they're spread, amiga...

_(Scene Twelve: Back to the hallway, with Kevien--er, Kevin and Brittany, a minute **earlier**...)_

Kevin, grinning with glee, had tossed his football aside, and then "uncorked" the "vial". He immediately "poured" some of the "formula" on his head.

BRITTANY: (Alarmed:) Kevie! Be careful! You don't want to use too much!

KEVIN: (Still grinning:) Don't worry, babe! It's just a little dab, I'm sure of it! I have plenty left! (Rubs hair wildly as if he's put grease on it. His hair looks even more of a mess than it was before. "Corks" and "puts" the "vial" in his uniform's pants pocket)

BRITTANY: Um, okay. (Pauses, suspicious expression:) _Heeey_, what are you going to use it for? (Frowns:) You'd better not go into the girl's locker room while the volleyball team's in there after they finish practicing this afternoon!

KEVIN: (Waves her off:) Nahhh, nothin' like that. (Thought v.o.: Hey! I'm gonna put that in my mental file later, whatever it was.:) I'm gonna test it first, like harassing the teachers, for starters. (Looks off to the side, sees a scowling Ms. Barch exiting out of her classroom far down the hallway, grins wickedly:) Startin' with Ms. Barch! I'm gonna get my revenge for her hating and embarrassing me 'cause I'm a guy! Watch me trip her, and make her fall down! (Begins to walk down the hallway with a comically confident stride, his chest sticking out)

BRITTANY: (Alarmed expression:) Be careful, Kevie! Ms. Barch might, like, swing wildly, get lucky, and hit you, even if she can't see you! She knows martial arts, remember?

KEVIN: ("Off-screen":) No sweat, babe! I'll just step back if she starts that kung-fu stuff! I'll laugh my ass off down the hall while she's on the floor in front of everybody, like, screaming because _she'll_ be the one who'll be embarrassed for a change!

BRITTANY: (Thought v.o. as she frowns: Honestly! That jerk! I'd use it to--[dreamy look now, mentally sighs:] **ogle** Darren--[stops, quickly shakes her head:] no! That's not right! Darren's _Jane's_ boyfriend, not mine! [Pauses:] Well, it wouldn't hurt to just _look _at him. Maybe I'll borrow some of Kevie's stuff just to--waitasecond! I **still **saw Kevin! He would've been invisible to **me**, too! That means--OH NO!) (Wide-eyed expression:) KEVIE, WAIT! (Runs off after him. After a moment, there's a feminine howl of rage, Barch's, then horrific screams, Kevin's, coming from "off-screen")

_(Scene Thirteen, about 30 minutes later at the Appleton Tower, in the currently semi-darkened and crowded executive conference room, the 30th floor)_

Constance stood at the head of the conference room's long and wide black marble table, speaking at a small podium beside a large projection screen, which in turn showed a large chart. A projection light protruded from the center of the table. On the chart were the names of Appleton's various business divisions, and their current performance levels for the past quarter, which incidentally, were all up.

At the table were all of the division heads, along with various members of the company's board of directors on both sides, including Darren, who was dressed in a sharp black suit and tie, seated far down at the rear left side from Constance. Opposite him were Circa Fashion's head Candi Gunwald, her second-in-command Cherice Banks, and Cherice's secretary, Jenna Springs, who was taking shorthand notes in the low light. Mimi, Constance's personal secretary, sat nearest her boss, also taking notes.

Constance had decided to pursue a new way to ensure the attention of the division heads by insisting notes were taken by their secretaries. In the past, Arthur Sr. and William Appleton had provided prepared reports. All the division heads had to do was to read what they had reported themselves, if Arthur Sr. or William did not. To Constance, as former head of Appleton's Energy Division, this seemed boring.

Constance wanted to try a new approach by "challenging" the division heads to listen to her directly, making them to pay closer attention by having their secretaries take shorthand notes, then to later have each division provide its own package report within two weeks from the notes taken. Under Constance, there would be no more prepared reports. Everyone would be on their toes.

Beside Darren was an attractive, dark-skinned Hispanic-American woman in her late thirties, with long, straight, dark brown hair, dressed in a sharp, feminine blue business suit. She, like Jenna, Mimi, and all of the other various secretaries to the divisional heads, was taking notes as well. This was Darren's recently-hired secretary, Carmelita Benitez, who was Constance's personal secretary a few years before, when Constance headed the Energy Division.

Carmelita had tired of New York City's high-pressure world, and had transferred to Appleton's small western operation in Oregon, where she was a secretary to the top regional manager. Carmelita had settled in, liking the open air, and relative quiet of the northwest. Only by (what was thought of at the time) the persuasion of her old boss, a doubling of her yearly salary, and a guarantee of finding an affordable apartment, drew Carmelita back to the high-pressure world of the Big Apple.

Darren had only vaguely recalled meeting Carmelita once, at a poolside business party several years ago his parents had hosted at the mansion. He specifically remembered her only because his uncle William had tried to come onto her while he was tipsy--only to find himself in the pool after she had "accidentally" pushed him in!

Grinning at that thought, it didn't take Darren long to eagerly accept Carmelita, who had not arrived as of yet, not just because of Constance's recommendation, but also because he didn't have to worry about going through résumés from what he suspected would be hundreds, perhaps even _thousands _of applicants (mostly "love struck" women), who'd put in for the job to be his personal secretary.

Darren had shuddered at the thought of wondering what Jane would think about a beautiful secretary (by the picture Constance had shown him) working a room over from him. He had told Helen and Jake about this over the phone when they had told him about their _own_ secretaries the two had hired as well--in the same week, no less!

Jake was at a loss about what to say, only adding that Helen had chosen his, whereas Helen recommended that Darren should simply introduce Jane to Carmelita the next time Jane visited, to minimize any "misgivings" Jane might have. Daria and Quinn had also agreed with their mother for Darren to do this, though Daria did some wisecracking about "The mice will play while the cat's away". Weary about engaging his middle sister in a battle of verbal teasing, which he was sure he'd lose in the long run, Darren sucked it in, and said not a word.

Curtis thought it only made perfect sense to anticipate anything from Jane by clearing the air with the meeting, and a smirking Krystal uttered a smart, playful remark about Jane's "Jealousy showing through here, just you wait". Grinning because he figured she was kidding, Darren blew her off, though it seemed to him that Krystal was enjoying the situation immensely, almost with a near glee. Darren figured it was a residual effect of Jane's not approving of Krystal being with Trent, which, though he wasn't sure, he suspected that Krystal had already known.

Darren told Jane over the phone about his hiring of Carmelita, quickly adding the mini history of her with Constance to try and soothe Jane's possible fears. To his surprise, Jane said that she definitely wanted to meet Carmelita, and to just "Shoot the breeze" when she next visited (around the same time Carmelita would arrive, a Saturday, coincidentally). And that there was nothing for him to worry about--if that's what he thought--all while she was laughing. Darren figured Daria had "prepared" Jane for when he'd call about Carmelita, and was inwardly grateful for it.

Darren had spoken to Carmelita over the phone as well the night before about meeting him and his girlfriend at Cherie's for a quick lunch. Carmelita immediately agreed after settling in her apartment, a new tenement called "Menlo Park".

Carmelita had a surprise of her own when Darren and Jane had arrived. She was with a very tall and handsome man at a table, whom she introduced as Victor, a man who upon further introduction had turned out to be her husband. He was someone she had met while in Oregon, fell in love with, and married. Victor had worked at the same Appleton operation, too, as a middle management clerical worker.

Another surprise over the lunch also revealed that _Victor_ was the one who had contacted Constance concerning the secretarial opening, much to Carmelita's shock. Victor had asked Constance to keep it to herself, and to allow him to inform his wife. He explained that though Carmelita had loved where she was, she had become wistful about seeing her friends again, particularly Constance, and he had decided to fulfill her wishes.

After receiving a crushing hug and a kiss of gratitude from his delighted wife, Victor further explained that Constance thought it was a stroke of luck that she could get and see Carmelita again, and had jumped at the opportunity--after promising the raise and of finding the apartment if he could pull it off. Constance also personally promised that she'd handle Victor's company transference to New York to be with his wife. From there, it was all a matter of Victor persuading Carmelita, which he obviously did.

Inwardly, a relieved Darren felt a huge weight had been taken off his back--until a grinning Jane decided to tease Darren by nudging Victor to question _Darren's_ motives as to the hiring of his wife. The expression on Darren's face, according to Jane, "Was priceless". Turnabout was fair play. Fortunately, Victor and Carmelita laughed voraciously at Jane's teasing, leaving Darren in a mild, sullen stupor for the remainder of the lunch. Jane, though, had later pulled him out of his funk with a kiss...

Darren quickly shook his head, and glanced at his wristwatch. Throughout the meeting, now almost two hours long, he occasionally and anxiously had done so. Carmelita cut her eyes to him, stopped taking notes, and leaned over, speaking in a very low whisper.

CARMELITA: You know Constance would've understood if you couldn't come, Darren. She probably would've understood if you had just slipped out during the meeting. She's aware that you want to get to your friends and family as soon as possible.

DARREN: (Returning the whisper, leans over as well:) And that's the point,Carmelita. _She_ would've probably understood, but the other people here _wouldn't._ If I'm serious about running the company someday, I'd _better_ be here, as much as I can. Besides, I'm the major shareholder, not to mention that I was the one who recommended Constance to run the company. I have to be here also to show that I support her _and_ the company to everyone.

CARMELITA: (After a moment:) That makes sense. (Glances at Constance, who's speaking in the background:) From the presentation, she seems to have them eating out of the palm of her hand. (Pauses:) I'm sounding biased, but I think you chose the right person to lead the company. (Pauses:) You should be proud of her.

DARREN: (Shows Carmelita an inquisitive expression, then smiles quietly:) Thanks, and I am, though I'd prefer to pass your praise on to my sister, Daria. (Pauses, adds:) Besides, the meeting will be over soon, I can wait to join my friends at Sean's, and I've already packed. In fact, I plan to leave tonight right after our little party, and arrive in Lawndale early. (Thought v.o.: Provided that Krystal is okay with that, [smirks:] and that I can get out of town before Curtis sees his "surprise"...)

Carmelita nodded, and resumed her note-taking as Darren turned his attention back to Constance. Almost immediately, the lights suddenly came on, and those around the table erupted in warm applause and smiles as they began to stand and went over to encircle her, offering their congratulations on her presentation. After a moment, Darren rose and went over with Carmelita, offering their praise as well.

Several minutes later, the conference room was mostly empty, save for a few stragglers. Darren, holding several hand bags full of the newest sample fashions he had gotten from Candi (per request of Quinn and the rest of the Fashion Clubbers), went over to Constance. She was casually conversing with Carmelita and Victor, who had come in a few minutes after the meeting's end.

DARREN: Well, I'm taking off. I'm going to change upstairs in my office, go straight home, then to Sean's, and head off to the airport. See you all in a few days. (Turns to Victor, shakes his hand:) Nice to see you again, Victor.

VICTOR: (Smiles:) You too, Darren. Perhaps Carmelita and I can get together with you and Jane again.

DARREN: Sure, I'd like that, and you can meet the rest of my family, too.

CONSTANCE: Have a good time, Darren, and say hello to your family and Jane for us. (Pauses, adds, small smile:) Thanks for the support again.

DARREN: (Returns the smile:) No problem, Constance. I have complete confidence in you, and you more than proved it in the meeting. (Grins:) I'm still going to nag you to take some time off so you won't burn out, though. Now seems to be the best time with all of the good feelings that oozed from everybody over the company's six-month earnings.

CONSTANCE: (Pauses:) You know, I'm going to do just that, Darren. (Darren cocks an eyebrow, surprised) I think I'll take a few days off somewhere to reward myself. (Mock-glares at a smiling Carmelita:) You weren't the only one who's nagged me...

CARMELITA: (Mock-shock, points to herself:) Who? Moi? (Victor laughs)

DARREN: (Delighted expression:) Excellent! Go off someplace where no one will bother you, and be sure to turn off that cell phone!

CONSTANCE: Don't worry, I will--(from the side, Leonard Potter comes over. Constance drops an eyebrow, droll tone:) why, hello, Leonard. How nice of you to rejoin us _after_ the meeting's finished. (Pauses:) What happened?

LEONARD: (Businesslike smile, tone:) Sorry, Constance, it couldn't be helped. It was a pretty important call I received. I'll read the meeting's minutes from Mimi. (Turns to Darren:) I'm glad I caught you before you left, Darren.

DARREN: (Pauses:) Is--something wrong, Leonard?

LEONARD: (Slight smile:) It's good and bad news, depending on who you are, you might say. It's a private legal matter concerning you, since I _am_ your personal lawyer, outside of the company's business. (Glances uneasily at Constance, Carmelita and Victor:) Uh, perhaps we can speak in your office in private--?

DARREN: (After a moment, glances at the others:) Ah, sure, Leonard. I was planning to change there, anyway. See you all. (Leaves with Leonard. The others look at each other)

_(Scene Fourteen: Darren's office, several minutes later)_

Darren, having changed into more casual wear, exited from his personal bathroom while Leonard sat on the couch, sprawled out.

DARREN: (Sits down on the couch across from him:) I still can't believe what I'm hearing, Leonard, even though it _was_ a possibility, from when the police came to the mansion a few weeks back. (Pauses:) James Bowman was definitely _murdered_?

LEONARD: That's what my legal contact from the feds told me, Darren. The FBI, was contacted by the Chilean authorities when they had suspected something was amiss, plus the fact that Bowman was an important American citizen. They had exonerated you after doing their own background investigation, not finding any connection. (Pauses, sighs with relief:) Of course, if Bowman had been murdered a few weeks _later_…

DARREN: –-Yeah, I get the picture. They probably would've kicked my door down to arrest me--

LEONARD: (Admonishing eyebrow:) _Particularly_ after what you said to Edward White in his cell in front of that deputy, whom the FBI questioned. You were incredibly lucky that nothing came from that incident, Darren…

DARREN: (Groans, rubs forehead, nods, leans back on the couch:) Okay, fine, you reminded me already, Leonard. I shouldn't have gone off like that, all right? (Mild scowl:) Even though I'm convinced "Mr. White" deserved it.

LEONARD: (After a moment:) Maybe he did, Darren, but consider this: If you hadn't said anything to him about Millie, it's entirely possible that he might not have jumped bail, and gone after her.

DARREN: (Raised eyebrows:) Don't tell me that you believed that bastard actually was able to comprehend loving my aunt, Leonard--? I don't care what he said, I don't believe it for a second! Besides, he would've just heard about her having left later, then--(stops, realizes what he's saying, goes silent, cuts eyes to Leonard)

LEONARD: (Takes it up, cocks an eyebrow:) --He would've still gone after her--?

DARREN: (Frowns after a long pause, sighs:) I mean that he couldn't have, not from a jail cell. (Pauses:) May we get back to Bowman, please?

LEONARD: All right, Darren.

DARREN: You also said something about the FBI thoroughly going over Bowman's SUV--?

LEONARD: With a fine tooth comb, Darren. They found a tiny knife cut on the brake cables that leaked out the fluid, which led to Bowman not being able to stop or slow down on the already-iced mountain road. The steering fluid reservoir had been drained as well, which lead to Bowman not being able to properly control his SUV.

DARREN: (After a moment:) Isn't it possible that maybe the accident caused it to _look_ as if both were deliberately damaged? From what I recall, the SUV was crushed beyond recognition…

LEONARD: No, both were definitely sabotaged. Bowman had his vehicle in for a thorough tune-up a week before at some type of Chilean car service center, where he usually went over the years. (Sad smile:) I was told the poor attendant who worked on it was terrified, thinking they were going to arrest _him_, but he was cleared after a day or two.

DARREN: What else?

LEONARD: The FBI and the Chilean authorities went back up that house, you know, the one on that flat plain on the mountain where they suspected Bowman might've been driving from--? (Darren nods) Well, this time, they did a _really_ thorough search, and found some hair samples, you know, for DNA and such.

DARREN: And...?

LEONARD: Apparently, Bowman had lived there based on the samples, as well as one or two local accounts of seeing him, but that wasn't all. They also found plenty of other DNA samples, which are all still being crosschecked, save for one. (Pauses:) William Appleton's.

DARREN: (Stands up, stunned:) _Uncle William?!_ But how--? He's dead--!

LEONARD: (Stands up as well:) Calm down, Darren, let me explain. It seems that William was a frequent guest of Bowman's there over the years, and more than likely, it's just leftover samples of hair from his past visits.

DARREN: (Relieved expression after a moment:) Yeah. Yeah, you're right, Leonard. (Slight smirk:) That _would_ be crazy for me to think that he's still alive. I watched the rest of his body being cremated.

LEONARD: (Chuckles:) Well, _you're_ the one seeing a psychologist, so I'd say yes, it's crazy, maybe even nuts. (Darren returns his own chuckle)

DARREN: All right, enough with the crazy banter. (Narrows eyes:) You said there was some bad news as well, depending on "who was who"--?

LEONARD: Frankly, yes. (Pauses:) You recall Helen getting that settlement from the _Weekly Blabber,_ of course.

DARREN: Sure, she and the psychologists got $100,000 each, plus a somewhat "strained" apology from the tabloid, about two-and-a-half weeks ago, right? Helen said that the tabloid didn't waste any time in changing their position. And rather than go through a long, lengthy court process, based on her own experience as a lawyer, she and the psychologists decided to take the money and the "strained" apology. I remember my sister Daria being a little surprised by Helen giving in so fast.

LEONARD: (Nods:) Right. Well, my legal source told me that the FBI had officially cleared you from their list _three _weeks ago. (Darren drops an eyebrow) They were looking around for someone else, now, and you didn't register on their radar, anymore. They informed Bowman's company that you had an ironclad alibi, which didn't exactly sit well with several people there who wanted to try and dig up something on you anyway. But the more influential and intelligent people in the company won out, and they scrubbed _that_ idea.

DARREN: Wait a minute--are you telling me that the _Weekly Blabber_ decided to quickly settle with Helen and the others because the _Blabber_ knew it would be a major hit to them in the reputation department if they went ahead with fighting the class-action lawsuit after they found out I had nothing to do with their boss being murdered?

LEONARD: Off hand, I'd say you hit the target, Darren, even though they _are_ a tabloid, and people already think of them as mostly a trashy gossip rag. More than likely, people would've still been turned off by them fighting Helen and the others, and "picking" on you after what happened this summer to you and your family.

DARREN: Not to mention that their bottom line would've taken a major hit. My business side says it actually makes perfect sense to settle. When Helen and the psychologists hear of this, though, they'll probably hit the roof, since they didn't know the same time as the tabloid. (Pauses:) Why _didn't_ the FBI let me or Helen and the others know about my being found to have nothing to do with this, yet--?

LEONARD: Don't worry, they will. Sometime tomorrow, the news is going to break. I've been told that they'll be a press conference at the Hoover Building in Washington, D.C.

DARREN: And I'll be in Lawndale when it does, drawing attention I don't want. (Hangs head:) Just great. Wonderful.

LEONARD: (Small smile:) Cheer up, Darren. At least the FBI will be announcing that you had nothing to do with Bowman's murder.

DARREN: (As he's gathering the hand bags for the Fashion Club beside the couch, along with his suit:) I guess. (Pauses:) Still, it makes you wonder _who_ killed Bowman, and that they're still running free out there, somewhere. (Walks toward the door)

LEONARD: (Walking with Darren to the door:) As you yourself said, Bowman had the reputation of either being liked or disliked. Apparently someone must've disliked him so intensely, they killed him. (Grabs the doorknob:) Here, let me--

DARREN: (Walks through the doorway:) Thanks, Leonard, I'll see you--(startled look:) Victor--?

VICTOR: (Getting up from sitting behind Carmelita's desk. He appears to look a little frazzled:) Oh, uh, Darren, Mr. Potter, hello again. My wife had to come back up here to get a few things, and then we were leaving. She's in the restroom. (Quickly gathers some papers from the desk:) I'd--better get her notes for her, here...

DARREN: Oh, uh, sure.

LEONARD: (After a moment, narrows eyes:) "Victor", is it?

VICTOR: (Stops, tense expression:) Er, yes--?

LEONARD: (Smirks:) We use first names around here, all right? Call me Leonard, not "Mr. Potter". (Goes over, shakes Victor's free hand)

VICTOR: (Pauses, nods head, smiles, looks relieved:) Oh, uh, sure, Leonard. Sorry.

LEONARD: No harm done. (Turns:) Have a nice time, Darren.

DARREN: Thanks, Leonard. (Pauses, adds:) You can tell Constance what you told me before she leaves, okay? No need for her to think something's wrong. (Victor narrows an eye, keeps silent)

LEONARD: Of course, Darren. Victor. (Leaves)

VICTOR: Oh, yeah, I'd better call the taxi service so they can be waiting here for us when we get down to the street--(reaches into his pocket, pulls out his cell phone)

DARREN: (Cocks an eyebrow:) You and Carmelita haven't bought the car, yet?

VICTOR: (While dialing:) Well, we're going to get it tomorrow, as a matter of fact. The paperwork is supposed to go through today concerning the trade-in over our old one. No more paying those damn high cab fares.

DARREN: Tell you what--I can take you two on my way back. Menlo Park's on my route.

VICTOR: (Pauses before hitting the "send" button:) Oh, we wouldn't want to trouble you--

DARREN: Nonsense, I insist, it's no trouble, really. I drove my Navigator today, so there's plenty of room. Tomorrow, you can finally get your car without worrying about riding in anymore taxis today. (Pauses:) How about it?

VICTOR: (After a moment, smiles:) Sure, Darren. Thanks. (Clicks off phone, puts it back into his pocket)

DARREN: No problem.

At the next moment, Carmelita entered the office via the hallway.

CARMELITA: (Smiles:) Still here, I see.

DARREN: (Returns the smile:) I was just about to leave, Carmelita--("wicked" grin:) with the both of you.

CARMELITA: (Cocked eyebrow, shows an odd expression:) Come again?

VICTOR: (Chuckles:) Honey, Darren's offered to drop us off to our place on his way home. We won't have to worry about riding in a taxi before getting our new car tomorrow.

CARMELITA: (Surprised look:) Oh! Are you sure--

DARREN: (Holds hand up, grins, interrupts gently:) --Yes, I am, and before you ask, it's no trouble at all. The only thing I ask is that Victor help me with all of this stuff before I collapse. (A smiling Victor complies, takes the bags. The three go the elevator, then walk in when the doors open. The doors then close behind them)

_(Scene Fifthteen: Sandi's house, in her room, about ten minutes later)_

Quinn and Tiffany were standing on both sides of Sandi, who was sitting at her computer desk. All stared intently at Sandi's computer screen. There were five faces of pretty girls on it, including Stacy's. Beneath their faces were the words, "Our Grand Prize Winners! Who Will Be Chosen?" In the meantime, Fluffy slept on Sandi's pillow.

QUINN: Well, it looks as if Stacy was telling the truth. There's her face.

TIFFANY: Uhh...huh...that's her...

SANDI: Indeed. However, we haven't checked on the phone number, yet. (Reaches over beside her PC, takes the paper Stacy gave them this morning) Quinn, would you do the honors?

QUINN: (Smirks as she takes the paper:) Sure, Sandi, no problem. Good thing this is a toll-free number. We won't run up any bills. (Grabs Sandi's cell phone on her bed)

_(Scene Sixteen: Rory's room, the same time. There are several packed boxes neatly stacked all around. His room is quite bare, now.)_

Rory and Krystal walked in just as Rory's answering machine, which was still connected to the wall on his end table, came on. A high-pitched beeping sound accompanied it.

VOICE: Um, hello--? (Rory grins, rushes over to answer, while Krystal rolls her eyes, thinking it's another "conquest")

RORY: (Disguises his voice to sound "formal":) Hello. This is Bliss Cosmetics. (Krystal appears to speak, but a glaring Rory mouths "Sty Lark". Krystal remains silent) May I help you?

VOICE: Uh, yeah. Have you ever heard of a "Stacy Rowe"? (Krystal looks off for a moment to think, then recognizes the voice. She narrows her eyes at Rory)

RORY: Why, yes, we have. She's one of our grand prize winners in our contest. Why do you ask?

VOICE: Er, no reason. I, uh, thought she looked really cute, and wanted ask about her, that's all.

RORY: I see. If you wish, I could send you her address, so you could write her--

VOICE: (Rushed:) Oh, no, that's okay! Bye--ee! (Hangs up)

Rory chuckled as he hung up. Krystal glared at him.

KRYSTAL: You son of a bitch! You _knew_ who that was, didn't you?!

RORY: (Turns to her:) Of course. (Pauses:) Darren's babe of a sister, Quinn Morgendorffer. Her voice is unmistakable!

KRYSTAL: (Narrows eyes:) How'd she get your number?

RORY: (Turns to his door, shuts it:) No need for prying ears from the servants. (Turns back to Krystal:) As much as I'd like for Darry's sister to have my _actual_ number, it's not mine. It's a number I bought from the phone company, a toll-free one. It's only for a week. I rigged the answering machine to beep in case someone, which I figured would be Stacy's friends if they were suspicious for some reason, called it. If it was my regular number, the machine wouldn't have beeped. If I wasn't in and they called the toll-free number, the machine would've said, "Welcome to Bliss Cosmetics. Please leave your name and number, and we'll return your call."

KRYSTAL: Clever. (Cocked eyebrow:) A toll-free number for "Bliss Cosmetics"? (Sneers:) What, you're working for them, too? Won't "Preston Smith" be pissed?

RORY: (Grins:) Real funny, little sister. No, it's part of what me and Stacy came up with to fool her friends into thinking she had won a contest for an interview for Bliss' products. It's based on Bliss' real contest. I got the idea when my little niblett said something about her friends thinking about entering it once.

KRYSTAL: (Crosses her arms:) You _do_ realize Bliss is a real company. What if they call the _actual_ number, or check on the Internet for it?

RORY: (Shakes head, smirks:) Oh, dear sister, you idiot. They _just _called the "actual" number--to _them._ I also made a phony Internet home page of Bliss, too. Since I anticipate only Stacy's friends to see the site, it should have only a hit, their's, and it won't last long, a month at most, then I'm giving it up. The web address doesn't read "Bliss" exactly, of course, since that would be a violation of the real company's site. The web address is just off, a little--

KRYSTAL: --Like _you, _only that it's by a whole damn lot_._ (Rory frowns)

RORY: Anyway, if they happen to check the Internet, they'll see Stacy's face, along with the faces of several babes I went out with. I like taking pictures of my dates, you know. It's kind of like--(glances up for a moment, smirks:) a "collection".

KRYSTAL: You're playing with fire, you ass. Sooner or later, you're bound to get burned.

RORY: (Shrugs:) Eh. What's life without risks? I figure if they checked once to see if this was legitimate, they won't do so again.

KRYSTAL: (Warning tone, glares:) Rory, once again, if you do something bad to Stacy…

RORY: (Frowns, interrupts:) –Drop the "worried" act, Krystal. Stacy's gonna be shown a good time in Baltimore, and that's all—

KRYSTAL: --Which is what I'm worried about, you jerk, _your_ version of a "good time"! I've seen the "good times" you've had with other girls, more often than not! (Realizes, adds:) And it's _not_ an act, you bastard! I really _do _care about what you'd do with her!

RORY: (Snorts:) _Please._ Of _course_ it's an "act", sis! It's all part of your acting skills when it comes to your faux boyfriend Trent, the brother of the girl who's with the object of your desire, and it's driving you nuts! (Krystal shows a death glare, which Rory returns, in a snarling tone:) And don't try to scare me, sis, it's not going to work anymore, so back off! You've got some nerve to give _me_ a lecture! You think I'm playing with Stacy's feelings, but that _you're_ not doing the same with the bum-slash-slacker just to keep tabs on Darry and Jane?

KRYSTAL: (Keeping her glare, though inside she knows he's hit the mark:) _My _situation is different, you moron! I'm trying to go out with one guy, not juggle them around like you are with Stacy and those other girls!

RORY: (Stares at his sister for a moment, in a calm tone:) Krystal, you're using Trent Lane, not only to provoke his sister, but to get Darry. (Pauses:) Sure, yeah, maybe I _am_ juggling Stacy around with the other babes, but I _do_ like her like the other babes. I give her what she wants—_me_. (Krystal rolls her eyes) She likes it, _I _like it. Everybody gets what they want.

KRYSTAL: Then, when you get tired of her, you'll cast her away in the end, just like your other conquests.

RORY: (Chuckles:) _You_ say they're "conquests". _I _say they're "learning experiences". Who knows? Stacy could learn about loving from being with me, and become a woman for her future relationships! I'll bet no guy's ever been with her long enough because she's been so insecure she talks about herself all of the time, driving them away! Those chat sessions we had have lasted for hours! I don't think I've ever talked so long with a girl like Stacy! (Pauses, actually forms a reflective look:) She's actually pretty interesting when I slow her down…

KRYSTAL: (Pauses:) Rory, I—(hard sigh:) never mind, the hell with it. (Picks up a box:) Let's just hurry up and get the rest of these to the moving truck so I can get your ass out of here! I've got to get my stuff so I can have it ready when Darren comes to pick me up.

RORY: So, that's what he called about while we were packing! (Smirks:) For a second there, I thought you were holding out on me…

KRYSTAL: (Ignores him:) That's right, from his car while he was taking his secretary and her husband to their home. We're going straight to the airport from Sean's. (Lifts a box:) Now hurry up!

RORY: (Faux sadness, teases:) Aww! Isn't my poor widdle sister gonna miss me?

KRYSTAL: (Frowns:) _Hell_ no! Why do you think I volunteered to help you? The sooner you're gone, the better! Now get your ass in gear, and help me clear the rest of your crap out!

RORY: (Glares, low, bitter tone which Krystal hears, but ignores:) Yeah, I'll miss _your_ ass like crazy, too… (lifts a box. Clumsily opens door with his free right hand, goes out, followed by Krystal)

_(Scene Seventeen: The House of Morgendorffer, about an hour later)_

Daria entered inside just as her mother, now dressed in her red sweatsuit, was coming down the stairs with bed linen in her arms.

DARIA: Hi, Mom. I see you got off early again from work, huh?

HELEN: (Distracted:) Oh, hello, Daria. Yes--yes, I have.

DARIA: (Pauses, glances at what her mother's holding as Helen comes to the bottom of the stairs:) Um, isn't that the bed linen from Darren's room?

HELEN: (Distracted yet again:) Hm--? Oh, yes it is, sweetie. I'm going to wash it so your brother can sleep on fresh linen in his room.

DARIA: (After a moment, notices something doesn't seem quite right:) Didn't you wash that a few days ago already?

HELEN: (Raised eyebrows, looks down at her linen:) I _did?_ (Chuckles, embarrassed:) Oh, dear, you're right, Daria! I guess I forgot! (Turns back to the stairs:) I'd better take this back upstairs--

DARIA: Um, Mom--? (Helen stops, turns back to her:) Is--something wrong? I get the feeling that you've got a lot of things on your mind. (Pauses, smirks:) Don't tell me Eric's got you grinding the millstone again as an equal partner, working on some huge case, and he's gonna resume calling again? (Helen looks wide-eyed in surprise) I had actually enjoyed the mausoleum-like tranquility around here without the calls, (pauses:) save for Quinn's, that is. Maybe we can work on getting her to having no friends so there would be no calls. We can get dad and Darren to run interference by them barricading Quinn in her room, while we systematically eliminate the Fashion Club.

HELEN: (Sighs:) Very funny, Daria. I'm--just thinking about some personal things. No need for you to worry.

DARIA: (Slight frown:) This doesn't have anything to do with Darren's visit, does it?

HELEN: (Covers, uncomfortable look:) Uh, no, of course not, sweetie! Why in the world would you ask something like that?

DARIA: (Shrugs:) I dunno. You look as if you're kinda excited and anxious that he's coming back.

HELEN: (Pauses, considers this:) Well, um, I suppose I am, sweetie. It's just so wonderful to see Darren again--(quickly adds, gasps with delight:) oh, and his friend Krystal, too! (Daria's mouth turns down ever-so-slightly) It certainly caught me by surprise that she would be dating Jane's brother! No offense, but I _never _thought of them as compatible!

DARIA: (Deadpan, glum tone as she walks past her mother up the stairs:) You don't know _how _much we agree on that, Mom. (Helen gives her a mild, odd expression, then begins to follow Daria up the stairs)

The next moment, Quinn walked in. Helen turned, and smiled at her youngest daughter.

QUINN: (Usual smile and pep:) Hi, mom! I see you're home early again from work, huh?

HELEN: Hello, sweetie. Yes, I am, I--

QUINN: (Plows on, narrows eyes at what Helen's holding:) --Say, aren't those the sheets that were on Darren's bed?

HELEN: (Looks down at, sighs:) Yes, they are, honey, but--

QUINN: --Wait, don't tell me you're gonna wash them _again_? I thought you did _that_ a few days ago!

HELEN: (Exasperated:) Yes I _did, _Quinn, but I had forgotten, alright? Daria told me the sa--

QUINN: (Interrupts:) --Daria's here? Good. I need to talk to her. Excuse me, Mom--(quickly brushes by her, goes up the stairs)

Helen shook her head slowly, sighed, and then followed Quinn.

Quinn went to the end of the hallway to Daria's room, then knocked.

QUINN: Daria! It's Quinn!

DARIA: (From behind the door, deadpan:) Oh, goodie. We've established something meaningful with the sibling introductions. (Pauses:) Where _do_ we go from here, I wonder?

Quinn rolled her eyes, and then walked in, closing the door behind her. Daria was lying on her bed. After eyeing Quinn, she rose and stood up from her bed.

QUINN: Okay, Daria, I checked Bliss' website and phone number. It looks like everything's legit with Stacy.

DARIA: What was on Bliss' home webpage?

QUINN: A picture of Stacy and some other girls, announcing them as the grand prize winners, and stuff.

DARIA: (Cocks an eyebrow:) And the phone call--?

QUINN: A guy came on. He said, "Bliss Cosmetics", and then I asked him about Stacy. He told me she was one of the winners. Then I like, hung up. (Covers her forehead with her right hand:) God, we felt embarrassed about what we did. In fact, I thought we owed Stacy an apology for not trusting her...

DARIA: (After a moment:) I see. (Pauses:) Are you convinced that Stacy's telling the truth?

QUINN: (Crosses arms:) Well, _duh,_ Daria! We checked, and both turned out okay, I _told_ you that!

DARIA: These were numbers and web addresses that _Stacy _gave you, and told you to check out if you didn't believe her.

QUINN: (Cocked eyebrow:) Yeah--so?

DARIA: So, how do you know if what she gave you wasn't something she _wanted _you to check, knowing that you probably would, and it turned out that everything _looked _legit? For all you know, Stacy might've given you some phony addresses and numbers that _Rory_ might've given her. It's easy to make your own webpage if you know what to do, and anybody can get a phone number of their own if they paid for it.

QUINN: (Pauses, now appears worried:) Do--you think all that's possible, Daria?

DARIA: (Shrugs:) Sure, I guess. (Pauses:) I could check the search engine on my computer if you want. I could find the web address of Bliss, and if it matches what Stacy's given you, then everything's cool. If not, well-- (starts to go over to her computer)

QUINN: (Ponders:) Um, d'you think Krystal would know if Rory's up to something?

DARIA: (Stops, turns:) I thought you didn't trust Krystal to tell the truth in anything, including and especially about Rory.

QUINN: (Frowns:) Yeah, but--well, _you _thought she was telling the truth about caring for Stacy, and the way Rory is with other girls!

DARIA: (Amused expression, tone:) Are you telling me that you'd follow _my_ lead on this? That you'd trust _my _judgment? (Smirks, places her right hand over her heart:) Be still, my beating heart...

QUINN: (Glares:) _Ha_. Fine, yeah, I'll follow your lead, okay?! You don't hafta rub it in! I don't wanna make things worse between the Fashion Club and Stacy by bein' _more _wrong if Krystal says nothing's going on! Sandi, Tiffany, and I feel guilty enough as it is! (Pauses:) Of course, if Krystal says he's up to something suspicious, an' everything, then it's different! I just wanna be sure!

DARIA: Well, as a matter of fact, I was considering calling Darren, and having him to ask Krystal if anything was going on with her brother...

QUINN: (Holds her arms out:) Well? What are you waiting for? (Pauses:) _Do_ it! (Daria sighs, reaches for her room phone, begins to dial)

_(Scene Eighteen: Sean's restaurant in Maness, the same time)_

The atmosphere was festive in the restaurant as some of Eastward College's finest were both partying and/or talking about what they were going to do during their days off. 

Curtis sat at a long table that was set up for the students. He was sulking by putting his head on his folded arms. A half-filled mug of root beer sat in front of him, as well as a huge spread of foods, such as Buffalo wings, pizza, shrimp cocktails, and other mouth-watering delicacies. A smiling Darren showed up and sat beside him, with Krystal on the other side. He winked playfully at Krystal, who smirked. In the background, loud pop music played.

DARREN: (Shouting over the music:) Curtis, you've got to get out of this funk! Sitting here not having a good time while everyone else is makes you look out of place--

KRYSTAL: (Ditto with shouting:) --Not to mention that it'll mess up the mood of the party! Some of our friends are asking what's going on with you!

CURTIS: (Looks up, sullen:) Why?! Why did I let you guys drag me to this stupid party?! I'd been better off staying at home--

DARREN: (Grins:) --Where your sisters would've tormented you, making you even more miserable!

KRYSTAL: (Ditto with the grin:) Darren's right! You can't let yourself get down like this! We're off for a few days, so let's party down!

CURTIS: (Shakes head:) Lena's not here! What do I care?! You guys get to go to where your girl and boy friends are for the layoff, but not me!

DARREN: (Sneaks a smirk at Krystal:) C'mon! At least try to have a good time while you're here! Who knows?! Your luck could change at any time!

KRYSTAL: Yeah! (Suddenly surprises him by grabbing his wrists, pulls him up:) Up, up, and away! Let's dance!

CURTIS: Aw, Krystal--I don't feel like dancing! (Offhandedly:) Why don't you and Darren do some?!

DARREN: (Plows on:)--We already did with some others! Now, it's your turn! (Krystal appears to want to say something, but doesn't)

CURTIS: But--

Darren's cell phone in his shirt pocket began to ring, which made him pull it out to answer. In the meantime, Krystal gently pulled Curtis onto the makeshift dance floor (the restaurant had only students from Eastward for tonight), where another girl immediately winked at her, which Krystal returned, and "snatched" Curtis. After another moment, Curtis began to dance, though not enthusiastically. Krystal then glanced around after a moment and looked for Darren, who had vanished. Another student told her he had seen Darren go to the rear, into an adjacent hallway that housed the restrooms. Krystal casually strolled in that direction.

Krystal came upon Darren as he was speaking.

(The "screen" splits between Daria in her room with Quinn, and Darren with Krystal)

DARREN: --Is quite a story, Daria. (Frowns:) And you think Rory might've had something to do with Stacy "winning" this cosmetics contest? (Krystal turns pale in realization)

DARIA: Quinn said that the contest seemed on the up-and-up, (Quinn nods frantically in the background) but I'd feel more comfortable if Krystal confirmed it for me, (Quinn mouths "us". Daria sighs:) I mean _us,_ just to make sure. She might've heard something about Rory being out of town over the next few days, and if so, we can put two and two together by also checking out Bliss' site over on my computer's search engine. It may not be real.

DARREN: (Notices Krystal:) Well, I know Rory's just moved out to his own place, according to Krystal, but if you want to ask her for more info, here she is. (Gives phone to Krystal)

KRYSTAL: (Swallows hard:) Er, hello, Daria.

DARIA: (Neutral tone:) Hi, Krystal. Look, I'll cut to the chase: Do you know if your brother's gonna be out of town over the next few days? (Quinn draws closer, listens in intently)

KRYSTAL: (Pauses, bites her lower lip:) Um_,_ not that I know of. He's--been pretty occupied with his moving out from our little nest to someplace, oh, called "Menlo Park", I think. (Darren cocks an eyebrow, frowns slightly) I don't think he's even thought about Stacy. (Quinn slumps out of disappointment. Krystal pauses:) Er, what's this all about?

DARIA: I guess that settles that, then. Look, Darren can fill you in on what we were talking about. Thanks for the info. (Pauses, continues her neutral tone:) Um, I guess I'll see you sometime tomorrow. Tell Darren goodbye until then. (Quickly clicks off her phone. The "split screen" returns to Darren and Krystal's side)

KRYSTAL: (Annoyed by Daria's abruptness, but pretends that it doesn't faze her:) Uh, sure, I'll tell him. (Clicks off phone, gives it back to Darren) Huh. So, er, what was that about, Darren? It sounds pretty intriguing.

DARREN: Oh, it's pretty intriguing, alright. I'll tell you about it on the jet. It's too loud in here to talk about over the music. (Pauses:) Did you say Rory moved to a place called "Menlo Park"?

KRYSTAL: Yeah. Why?

DARREN: (Shakes head slowly:) Talk about a small world, you left out where Rory had moved. Remember my new secretary, Carmelita?

KRYSTAL: (Smirks:) The woman that Jane was worried about taking you away from her? Sure.

DARREN: (Sighs, minor eyeroll:) Krystal, Jane was _not_ worried about Carmelita. (Pauses:) _I _was. (Krystal snorts) Besides, Carmelita's married to that "Victor" guy, remember?

KRYSTAL: Fine, I was just pulling your leg. (Crosses arms:) Now, why'd you use the "small world" term?

DARREN: Because Carmelita and her husband live in Menlo Park, where Rory's moved to.

KRYSTAL: (Raised eyebrows, genuinely surprised:) You're _kidding _me. (Darren shakes head) Damn. Well, I hope he doesn't make a play toward her--

DARREN: (Slight grin:) I doubt that. Victor looks as if he could handle any of Rory's possible advances.

KRYSTAL: (Returns grin:) I wasn't talking about _Victor_, silly. I was talking about _Carmelita._ (Darren chuckles)

DARREN: (Teasing tone:) Oh. Well, _that's _different. (Pauses, becomes serious:) Uh, just out of curiosity, are you going to miss Rory, even just a little--?

Krystal merely stared at Darren with a stoic expression, one which caused Darren to feel a chill down his spine for some reason.

KRYSTAL: (**Very **frosty one:) _No._ (Turns, abruptly leaves. Darren stares after her, mildly stunned. He then quietly follows her)

_(Scene Nineteen: The House of Morgendorffer, once again, a few hours later. It's now dark outside)_

Daria, dressed in her Mark Twain nightclothes, and holding a glass of water she had gotten from the kitchen downstairs, walked down the dark upstairs hallway to her room. Quinn's door was slightly ajar, a very thin stream of light protruding from it across the hallway.

Daria heard Quinn talking. _Surprise! Why, she's yacking it up on the phone again. More than likely, she's probably apologizing to Stacy, or going over the latest fashion trends with the other Fashion Club members. Well, I sure as hell don't want to disturb her, and get dragged into something fashionably tragic to my health--or hers, if she tries to reel me in..._

Daria slowed down and tiptoed by the stream of light, making a conscious effort not to disturb her sister. For some reason known only to Daria, she suddenly stopped, and glanced through the door's crack. Quinn, dressed in her familiar nightclothes, appeared sad as she spoke.

QUINN: (While sitting on her canopy bed:) He's still at a study session with some students, and it won't be over until the early morning? (Pauses:) This'll be all _week_? But how about--(pauses, sighs:) no, never mind. Thanks. (Quietly hangs up her phone, slumps, sighs. Quinn puts her phone on her nightstand, then gets off her bed, heading toward the door to turn off the light. Daria immediately makes her way to her own room, and slips in. Quinn's light goes off, and her door quietly shuts. After a moment, a sad-looking Daria opens her own door, glances at Quinn's room)

DARIA: (Thought v.o.: She's still not over David. Tempting as it is to talk to her, I said I'd stay out it unless she wanted to talk, and I **meant** it. [Pauses:] Dammit.) (Shuts door to her room)

_(Scene Twenty: Rory's new apartment in Menlo Park, the same time)_

Rory sat in a cloth-covered chair in his pajamas, typing in his notebook. A fax machine sat nearby connected to the notebook. It busily spat out paper in a neat stack on a tray. All around, the apartment clearly showed the appearance of a recent move-in. There were the boxes from his old bedroom everywhere, plus a few new store-bought items, such as a DVD recorder, stereo system, and flat-screened TV. A sleeping bag lay on the floor, for his bed had not been rebuilt as of yet. After he'd further clean up the place it would be quite a nice apartment that "Preston Smith" had found for him. Rory continued to type. On the notebook's screen, a chat was taking place:

SPARROW: I'M GETTING THE INFO NOW, PIGEON. THE FAX IS WORKING PERFECTLY.

PIGEON: EXCELLENT, SPARROW. MR. SMITH WILL BE EXPECTING APPLETON'S SHAREHOLDER MEETING MINUTES TOMORROW MORNING, BY 9 A.M. YOU HAVE HIS FAX NUMBER, RIGHT?

SPARROW: RIGHT. ER, I PLAN TO MAKE A LITTLE SIDE-TRIP TO BALTIMORE THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW. WILL THAT BE A PROBLEM FOR MR. SMITH?

PIGEON: WHAT SORT OF "SIDE-TRIP"?

SPARROW: IT'S--PERSONAL.

PIGEON: "PERSONAL" DOESN'T REGISTER WITH MR. SMITH. HE HAS TO KNOW EVERYTHING THAT WE DO.

SPARROW: IT'S SOMETHING THAT I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF. IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT, THEN YOU CAN LET MR. SMITH KNOW YOURSELF. I'M GOING.

PIGEON: FINE. IT'S YOUR HEAD. AT LEAST LET ME KNOW WHERE THIS SIDE TRIP IS, IN CASE MR. SMITH CALLS ME.

SPARROW: IN BALTIMORE. IF MR. SMITH WANTS TO GET AHOLD OF ME, HE CAN CALL BY MY CELL PHONE NUMBER.

PIGEON: BALTIMORE, RIGHT.

SPARROW: YOU GOT ANYTHING ELSE TO GIVE ME?

PIGEON: NO, I DON'T. BUT YOU'D DO WELL NOT TO BE A LOOSE CANNON, SPARROW. MR. SMITH'S GIVEN ME SPECIFIC INSTRUCTIONS TO KEEP AN EYE ON YOU. IF HE SO MUCH AS EVEN HEARS THAT YOU'VE GOTTEN IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW--

SPARROW: --I GET IT, ALRIGHT? DON'T WORRY, I'LL BE CAREFUL. SIGNING OFF.

Rory snorted with indifference, and then clicked off his notebook, making sure to continue the connection to the fax machine as it continued to spew out papers. He then typed in a new web address, entering a website that provided tickets and hotel reservations.

_(Scene Twenty-One: In a dark, late-night Maness, a few hours later)_

Curtis' red Volkswagen pulled up in the driveway of his home, a modest, yet impressive two-story home done in the Prairie-style design of Frank Lloyd Wright. His car was followed by Darren's Navigator, and another car, all which stayed on the front road. Curtis got out and went to the Navigator, which contained Darren and Krystal, along with their packed belongings.

CURTIS: (Slight smile:) Hey, thanks again for the good time. I actually began to enjoy myself. Even though Lena's not here during our layoff, I guess it won't be so bad.

DARREN: (At the wheel, returns the smile with Krystal:) Believe me, it won't, Curtis--

KRYSTAL: --And who knows? Things might get better before you know it!

CURTIS: (Snorts:) I'm not holding out much hope, you understand, but still, I _do_ feel better. (Glances at the car behind them:) Are those the mansion's security guys?

DARREN: (Turns around briefly:) Yeah. I called them when we left Sean's. They'll drive my SUV back to the mansion after we leave on the jet. (Glances at the house, sees a familiar silhouette in the front window of Curtis' home. Suddenly speaks in a rushed tone:) Uh, well, we'd better get on! See you, Curtis! I'll call in a day or two! (Suddenly drives off in a cloud of dust, leaving Curtis in a stunned daze. After a moment, the car behind follows)

Krystal gave Darren an odd expression as he slowed a bit.

KRYSTAL: Um, Darren--? (Pauses:) What in the hell was that all about, if I may ask?

DARREN: Sorry for the sudden spurt of speed, Krystal, but I saw her in the window, and I knew she was going to come out on the porch any second.

KRYSTAL: Huh? Who? (Darren gives her a pointed look, smirks:) _Oh!_ Her? Are you sure?

DARREN: (Nods:) I'm sure. (Grins:) Curtis is going to be floored. (Becomes wide-eyed in realization, cuts eyes over:) Moving on, I just thought about something: how are you going to get into the Lane's?! If I hadn't been so eager to leave, I would've asked you before! Jane said that they changed the locks to their house! If you want, you can stay at my family's home for the night--

KRYSTAL: (Chuckles:) --It's okay, Darren, really. I'll be fine. (Reaches into her shirt, pulls out a key, smirks:) Trent sent me this. I can slip in anytime. (Darren looks relieved as they and the security car following them go down the road)

_(Scene Twenty-Two: Back to Curtis' house)_

Curtis stared after the two cars, and sighed as he turned to go into his home. _They didn't waste any time leaving, did they? Can't say that I blame them. I know **I'd **want to get to Lena if had the chance, but I didn't want to accept Darren's offer of flying me down to Florida to see her. Even though I'd never say the word "charity" in front of him, he knows it anyway. We both do. I hope they have a good time. I think I'll spend most of my time sleeping. It'll pass the time by faster..._

Just as Curtis was about to unlock the front door as he came unto the porch, the door suddenly opened itself. Who he saw made his mouth drop in disbelief.

A smiling, beautiful African-American young woman Curtis' age, dressed in a flowered-colored dashiki and sandals, stepped out onto the porch, and promptly sauntered up to him. Her hair was in tight, long braids, which were longer than say, Jodie Landon's, not to mention that she was lighter in skin color than Jodie as well. (If one could envision Beyoncé Knowles as a cartoon character, they wouldn't be far off)

YOUNG WOMAN: (Whispers, small smile:) Hi, Curtis.

CURTIS: _L-Lena?_ B-But how--?

LENA: (Puts her arms around his neck:) I think you know how, if you think about it. (Before Curtis can speak, she pulls him down, and kisses him. After a moment, he responds)

About 30 seconds passed before they broke for air.

CURTIS: (Chuckles in realization:) _Darren_. That sneaky bastard.

LENA: (Slaps his shoulder lightly, teases:) Now, don't you dare talk about your friend like that, Curtis. I think it was sweet for him to fly me up here.

CURTIS: (Puts hands up, grins:) Hey, don't get me wrong, Lena. He said he wouldn't fly me down there, and he didn't. Darren just turned the tables.

LENA: (Snuggles against him:) Exactly. I had some personal time built up from my hospital job, so when he called me a few weeks ago, I jumped at the opportunity. (Smiles:) Darren got your parents and sisters in on the scam, as well. (Curtis rolls his eyes, realizes) So, if you're going to call Darren a "sneaky bastard", you might as well call your family that, too.

CURTIS: (Laughs, puts hands up:) Okay, okay! No name calling! (Pauses:) Wait a sec--why didn't you come to the party at Sean's, and where are you staying? (Grins, draws his face close to her's:) Could it be _here_ by any chance? _I_ wouldn't mind.

LENA: (Smiles, gently pushes him back:) Down, boy. I'm staying at Darren's mansion while he's out. I've been designated as a "Special Guest", there, hence, he said that I--_we_ can have the run of the place while he's gone. As for your little going-away-for-awhile party, I just arrived only an hour ago, and I decided to wait for you. I can call the mansion to pick me up in a limo when I leave.

CURTIS: (Shakes head in disbelief:) Man, do I _owe_ my buddy for doing this! It's like a dream come true!

LENA: For the both of us. (Puts her arms around his neck:) Now, enough talk. Shut up and kiss me. (They kiss, this time more deeply)

Their kiss was interrupted by the giggling of a pajama-clad Juanita and Laflita, who watched them through the glass front door.

JUANITA: (Teasing:) Awwww, that's _so_ sweeeeet!

LAFLITA: (Puckering her lips:) Oooooooh! Kissy-kissy!

Lena laughed as she watched a red-faced Curtis release her, and suddenly run into the house after his twin sisters.

_(Scene Twenty-Two: The House of Morgendorffer yet again, three hours later. It's about 3:00 a.m.)_

Daria made her way down the dark hallway to the bathroom. _Serves me right for drinking that glass of water before I went to bed. I feel like a bloated water balloon. _

Daria went in, and closed the door. After a minute or two, she exited, feeling relieved. She dropped an eyebrow at the light coming from the living room downstairs. _Someone must've gotten up while I was taking a leak. I hope dad's not sneaking another morning snack again, unless it's of the low-fat variety. Mom'll skin him alive._

Yawning, Daria decided to go downstairs, and see who had gotten up. She smirked, preparing to deliver her sarcastic commentary upon the poor family member.

As Daria went down the stairs, she stopped a few steps down when she immediately noticed that the front door was open. _Oh, boy. Burglars? I thought the home alarm system worked! Well, there's American quality for you..._

Daria then froze.

_Should I scream? What if they have a gun? If they don't, would they run out, or come up after me? **Damned** if I'm gonna be a martyr for no more than a thousand bucks of our stuff! Of course, they could take Quinn if I can somehow get her down here. Seriously, maybe I should just go back up the stairs, and stay around the corner to see if I can get a description..._

Daria suddenly saw Darren entering, holding a few bags of groceries. Immediately, she responded, coming down the stairs.

DARIA: _Darren?!_

DARREN: (Grins:) Daria! Good morning!

DARIA: (Slight smile:) You mean good _very_ _early _morning. I thought you'd come later in the morning. You obviously didn't have trouble with the alarm code mom gave you. (Pauses:) I sorta thought the same thing about burglars not having any either when I saw the door open.

DARREN: (Grins:) Sorry for the scare, sis. (Puts groceries down on the middle sofa, where there's also his belongings, as well as other items for the family he's brought in:) I wanted to get out of Maness as soon as possible, and surprise you all. I also wanted to get to your school as early as possible to speak with Ms. Li concerning my donation to the school. I didn't want the media to be there waiting for me if I came later.

DARIA: Smart. What's the deal with the groceries?

DARREN: Henri's been after me to resume my occasional cooking skills, and I promised him I'd do it while I'm visiting here. I stopped at an all-night store I remembered when I was last here.

DARIA: (Cocks an eyebrow:) Using a rented car? What, does the airport have an all-night rental service?

DARREN: (Smiles:) Sure. The vehicle I wanted a week ago was waiting for me, filled up and running. See for yourself. (Daria walks to the open door, looks out. A pearl-colored Cadillac Escalade is in the driveway)

DARIA: (After a moment:) Quinn'll probably go nuts when she sees that gussied-up SUV.

DARREN: (Chuckles:) She should. (Pauses:) Quinn's the one who asked me to get it while I'm visiting, the model, color, and everything.

DARIA: (Slight smirk:) I see. I assume it's loaded--?

DARREN: (Shrugs as he comes over to her:) Sure. It has a moonroof, TV, DVD player, a CD player, even an icebox, and an Internet connection for my laptop.

DARIA: Did you want all of that stuff in it? It might draw attention to you.

DARREN: (Dismissive shrug, sighs:) Daria, unlike my last time here, people know who I am, now. It doesn't really matter, either way. I might as well not put up any false pretenses.

DARIA: (Deadpan:) You mean, not hide the fact anymore that you're rich enough to buy the whole damn town, and then some?

DARREN: (Smirks:) It's not like I'm going to throw piles of money out while I'm driving around town, sis. Even _I'm_ not that dumb. I plan to keep my money in my pocket, and be plain Darren Appleton.

DARIA: If that's the case, I'd hate to have seen the _fancy _Darren Appleton. He might've driven a five-room RV in front of our house. (Darren laughs. Daria then pauses:) Um, where's Krystal?

DARREN: I dropped her off at Jane's after we went to the all-night store. Trent had sent her a key. I helped her with her stuff, and then she slipped in.

DARIA: Did she tell Trent that she was coming this early?

DARREN: No. She said she wanted to surprise him and Jane, and that she'd find her way around. Trent had told her about his home, and which room was which. (Adds, smirks:) Don't worry: she won't end up in Jane's room.

DARIA: (Thought v.o.: **That **would be quite a sight. You wouldn't be able to tell the red paint from the blood:) I'll help you put away the groceries--(begins to move)

DARREN: (Pauses:) Well, okay, sure, but uh--(pauses)

DARIA: (Stops:) What?

DARREN: (Stares at Daria for an instant:) Ah, never mind--

DARIA: (Sighs:) Darren, it's alright. If this is about worrying over whether or not I'll be able to get back to sleep before school, don't. I'm used to--

DARREN: (Gently interrupts:) --No, sis, it's not that.

DARIA: (Pauses:) Then what?

DARREN: I was hoping--well--I was hoping that you'd give me a welcome home hug.

DARIA: (Suddenly blushes a bit, hesitates:) Um, well--

DARREN: (Faux-hurt:) Am I _that_ terrible to hug? I thought we were long past that, and it's not like we haven't done it before, right--?

DARIA: (Smirks:) Don't remind me. (Long pause, slight smile:) Yeah, why the hell not? Just don't spread it around, okay? I _do_ have a rep to protect... (quietly walks up to him, then just as quietly hugs him. Darren hugs her back gently)

Quinn walked down the hallway after she had thought she heard noises. Quinn had not been able to sleep very well because of her thinking about David, and it showed in her weary expression. She narrowed her eyes when she, like Daria, saw the glow of the lights from the living room downstairs. _Ohmygosh! Do we have burglars? Should I scream? What if I'm kidnaped, and held for ransom? I can see **me**, but not Daria. Maybe I can get them to get Daria, unless they're really cute burglars, in which case they can take me. I wonder if they'd look like Dav--no, stop thinking about him..._

Quinn came to the edge of the hallway, and looked down the stairs in a skittish manner. She grew wide-eyed when she saw Daria hugging--

QUINN: (Squeals loudly, grins:) _Darren?!_

Before Daria or Darren could speak, a delighted Quinn bolted down the stairs in a tizzy, practically leaped off the bottom stair. She hugged Darren fiercely--while he was still holding Daria, who suddenly had her face pushed into Darren's chest, skewing her glasses a bit.

QUINN: It _is _you! Oh, it's so good to see you again, Darren!

DARREN: (Struggling with Daria:) You--too--sis!

DARIA: Quinn--you have--a future--as a--junkyard car crusher--that's for--sure. (Pauses:) Now can you--let go--please?

QUINN: (Embarrassed, giggles:) Oh, um, sorry!

The next moment, Jake Morgendorffer suddenly appeared at the top of the stairs, along with Helen. Both were in their nightclothes. Jake had one of his golf clubs, a three wood.

HELEN: (Alarmed:) Jake! Be careful! The burglars could have guns!

JAKE: Dammit, Helen! I don't care! I heard Quinn scream! I'm gonna break their--(suddenly becomes wide-eyed as he stares down at the bottom of the stairs:) DARREN?! (Drops golf club, rushes down the stairs:) My son's back!

HELEN: (Just as wide-eyed as she follows Jake's stare:) DARREN?! (Rushes right behind Jake)

Both immediately grabbed Darren in a fierce embrace--with Quinn and Daria right in the middle, and Daria getting the worst of the deal. Once again, her face was buried in her brother's chest, and her glasses were more askew than ever, almost falling off her face.

DARIA: (While struggling with Quinn and Darren, thought v.o.: I'll--never--criticize--sardines--again...)

__


	3. Return EngagementA 'Daria' Fanfic Chapte...

**Chapter 3**

_(Scene Twenty-Three: Casa Lane, a few hours later, Jane's room. It's now daylight, signaling the dawning of a new day)_

Jane's radio alarm clock on the end table beside her bed hit "6:00 a.m.", and then suddenly beeped. From the lump under the bed cover, an arm stretched out, and calmly shut off the clock.

Jane, wearing her usual, converted-to night clothing of a red shirt and white shorts (which also occasionally doubled as a jogging outfit), slowly pulled the cover off, yawned, and then stretched. She quietly slipped out of her bed, gently rubbed her ribs, and lip-smacked her mouth as she yawned again.

JANE: (Thought v.o.: Boy, **that **was a good sleep, the best I've had in a while. Huh. Guess I was more tired than I thought. Going to bed at ten o'clock didn't exactly hurt, either. I kinda figured I would be at least a **little** restless, since I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep because of Darren coming in today. Oh, well. Time to get in a quick, little early-morning jog…)

Jane sat back on the edge of her bed, and laced on her running sneakers. After combing her hair, she left her bedroom just as Krystal, wearing a pink bathrobe and slippers, exited Penny's old bedroom.

KRYSTAL: (Smirks, stops, speaks in a faux-sweet tone:) Good morning, Jane.

JANE: (Indifferent, gruff tone, waves her off:) Eh, 'morning, Krystal. (Krystal gives her a bemused look as Jane walks by. After a moment, Jane stops, becomes wide-eyed, quickly turns back in shock:) KRYSTAL?! What-in-the-_hell_--?! (Pauses:) How'd _you_ get into _my_ house?! I thought you and Darren weren't supposed to arrive until later this morning!

KRYSTAL: (Bemused chuckle:) Darren decided to surprise his family by getting here a tad sooner. As for _how _I got in, Trent mailed me a key because he said you guys had changed the locks. (Pauses to Jane's now-stoic expression:) Oh, he didn't tell you--?

JANE: (Flat tone:) _No._ It seems that he kinda left out _that_ little detail. (Thought v.o.: Which gives me hope. Once you start seeing that my brother has a **lovably** absentminded habit, you'll have to think twice about seeing him.) What time did you and Darren get in this morning?

KRYSTAL: Around two a.m. He rented an SUV from the airport. Afterwards, we brought some groceries, and he dropped me off here. Henri's been nagging at him to brush up on those budding culinary skills of his, so Darren's going to cook a surprise breakfast for his family this morning.

JANE: (Slight nod:) Yeah, I can see that. Darren's told me that he's gotten a little rusty in his cooking lately, and wanted to pick it up again. I've never tasted his cooking before, now that I think about it. (Pauses, realizes:) Uh, did you say "we" bought some groceries? Why'd _you_ do that?

KRYSTAL: (Shrugs, slight smile:) Isn't it _obvious_? I can handle a skillet or two, myself. In fact, I'm going to cook some breakfast this morning for _you _guys. (Jane's eyebrows rise in surprise. Krystal smiles slightly:) I decided to follow Darren's idea.

JANE: (Uneasy look:) Oh, um, you don't really have to go to all of _that_ trouble, you know. You're a-- (pauses, strains to utter the word between her clenched teeth:) _guest_ here.

KRYSTAL: (Knowing smirk:) Oh, nonsense, it's no trouble at all! In fact, I insist!

JANE: (Looks off, uncomfortable expression:) Well, uh--

KRYSTAL: (Now shows a barely-sinister grin, teases:) Oh, come on now, don't tell me that you think I'd _poison_ your food, Jane? (Thought v.o.: Which I probably **would**, if I thought I could get away with it...)

JANE: (Thought v.o. as she exhibits a phony smile: You probably **would**, if you thought you could get away with it...:) Of _course _not! It's just--that—-I--plan to go to the Morgendorffer's after I take a shower and change! (Nods, goes with that line of reasoning:) Yeah, I think I'll just skip my morning jog. I might as well chow down there, because like I said, I've never really tasted Darren's food, (quickly adds:) not that I think _yours_ wouldn't be tasty, either. (Pauses:) Tell you what: If you want, you can prepare tonight's dinner, or maybe breakfast for tomorrow, and I'll try your food then, how's that?

KRYSTAL: (Pauses, shrugs, slight smirk:) Sure, why not? There's no hurry to decide either way right now. (Pauses:) Maybe I'll do both. (Grins, which appears subtly cold to Jane:) Rest assured, though, I'll be sure to prepare a _very _special meal for either or both occasions.

JANE: (Thought v.o.: Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of...:) I'll--be looking forward to it.

The next instant, a tired and bare-chested Trent, wearing black boxers, dragged himself from his room while he rubbed his eyes.

TRENT: Janey, what's goin' on...? I thought heard some talking...

Krystal eyed him up and down, and then formed a lusty, slow smirk, while Jane mildly and briefly rolled her eyes.

KRYSTAL: (Huge grin:) Trent!

TRENT: (Shakes out of his sleep, suddenly becomes wide-eyed, returns the grin:) Krystal? Whoa, you're here already? (Suddenly alarmed:) Oh, man, what time is it? I overslept _again?_

JANE: (Low snort, thought v.o.: **"Again?"**)

Krystal stole a mercurial glance in Jane's direction, then dramatically ran over to Trent, throwing her arms around his neck, and pulling him down for a deep, long kiss. Jane showed a hard stare at the sight, but kept her tongue, whereas Krystal seemed to put hers down Trent's throat.

After a moment of staring, Jane actually began to show an almost Daria-like tiny smirk.

Krystal barely squinted her eyes open just long enough to gauge Jane's reaction to her kissing Trent, and then suddenly found herself wondering what the youngest Lane sibling was thinking.

JANE: (Thought v.o. as she keeps her smirk: **Big** mistake, missy. Trent's never been one to care about brushing his teeth before he goes to bed. **I **oughta know. When he was awake enough to speak in my face in the mornings, I could smell the skunk and onion-like odors that practically erupted from his mouth. After having enough, I kept my distance until he brushed his teeth. Either you've got a strong stomach, or your breath is as bad as my brother's, and both of yours cancel each other's out.)

Trent and Krystal finally stopped kissing, but held hands as they withdrew from one another. Krystal smiled.

KRYSTAL: (Glances up:) _Hmmm..._that was—the toothpaste with the mint and cherry flavor, right?

TRENT: (Grins, which incidentally shows his very clean teeth:) Yeah--that "Teeth Brite" stuff you told me about. My mouth _does_ taste better when I brush before I go to bed. It keeps when I get up. Thanks for telling me about it.

JANE: (Cocks an eyebrow:) Huh? (Narrows eyes:) _Waiiiiitasec._ (Pauses:) Trent, are you now brushing your teeth before you go to bed?

TRENT: (Pauses, shrugs, uncomfortable look:) Uh, yeah, Janey. Ever since Krystal kinda--(pauses, glances at Krystal, embarrassed look for a moment. Krystal merely smirks at him:) uh, hinted that I should. I now do it like, about three times a day, and stuff. (Jane appears very surprised)

KRYSTAL: (Nods:) Good dental hygiene is very important, Trent. (Snuggles up to him, purrs:) A girl likes the clean mouth of a man, right, Jane? (Gives Trent a lusty expression:) Makes the kissing easier. (Trent returns the same expression. They kiss again briefly)

JANE: (After a moment, looks off, baffled:) Uh, yeah, it does at that...

KRYSTAL: (Sniffs his chest, smiles:) Ah, and is that the "Green Water" body lotion I smell? (Trent nods, smiling. She glances at Jane, smirks:) I brought that for Darren last year for a Christmas present, Jane. He loves it. You've probably smelled it on him, right?

JANE: (Pauses:) Ah, yeah, I guess I have. (Thought v.o.: Which I didn't notice, of course, because he never mentioned it. Pauses, realizes: Stop it, Jane. Krystal's trying to get into your head. Pauses: Still, I wonder how Stephanie felt about that--?)

TRENT: (Grins:) Thanks again for sending me a bottle. I put it on right after I showered before I sacked out last night. It really smells good. (Smells his arm:) Yeah, it keeps like the toothpaste, too.

JANE: (Thought v.o., narrowed eyes, realizes: Geez! Trent **has** paid more attention to his appearance lately, now when I think about it. He's taken more showers, worn cleaner tee shirts and jeans, and his goatee has been neatly clipped, the same for the hair on his head, which has been combed down more. What's she **doing **to him? Why didn't I notice all of this before?)

TRENT: (Looks down at her, smiles:) I guess you used the key I sent you, huh?

KRYSTAL: (Smiles back, nuzzles into his chest:) What do _you _think?

TRENT: You have any trouble finding your way around here?

KRYSTAL: Nah. I fumbled for a light switch or two, and then with Darren's help, I quietly found your sister Penny's old room, last one on the left, just like you described. (Glances at Jane's cocked eyebrow, smirks:) Darren didn't want to wake you up, Jane, you understand.

JANE: (Small shrug:) Um, sure.

TRENT: (Concerned tone, look:) Man, I wish one of you would've done that, you know, so we could've helped you out with your stuff--?

JANE: (Mouth turns down slightly, thought v.o.: What's this "we" crap he's babbling about?)

KRYSTAL: (Lightly caresses Trent's face. Inside, Jane moans with disgust:) Oh, it's all right, sweetie, really. I took care of everything after Darren and I brought it all into the living room.

TRENT: (Slightly placated, nods:) Well, as long as Darren was there to help, it's cool. So, uh, what do you think of our pad?

KRYSTAL: (Glances around, brief, bemused expression:) It's quite a quaint little place you have here. (Adds after a moment as she tepidly feels the hallway's wall, lightly dusts off her hands:) It's very, uh, (pauses, looks for the right word:) tidy, too. (Trent appears relieved)

JANE: (Offended, slight sneer in her tone:) Oh, it's not quite the castle like _yours_, of course, and we don't have the necessary servants to accommodate our quaint little needs like _you_ do, but we somehow still get on with our quaint little lives. You see, our house suits _our_ needs, and in the end, that's all that matters, right, Trent? (Krystal shows a faux smile)

TRENT: (Even **he** gets Jane's subtle insult, cocks an eyebrow:) Uhhh, Janey--?

KRYSTAL: (Chuckles coolly, keeps her eyes on Jane:) Oh, it's all right, Trent! I'm sure Jane was only _joking_! (Adds with her own sneer:) Remember, Jane gets _her_ quaint little needs filled by _Darren's_ servants when she visits _his_ castle too, right, Jane?

JANE: (Nods, faux smile:) You betcha. (Adds casually:) Though I generally do my own thing when I visit, and try not to rely on his servants to wipe my nose _and_ ass like I'm sure _other_ people do when they visit. I, for one, think that we should do as much as we can for ourselves. (Krystal's mouth twitches ever-so slightly while she maintains her faux smile)

KRYSTAL: (Barely strained tone of control:) Why, I suppose I couldn't agree with you more on _that_ line of reasoning, Jane. How _nice_ of you to point it out.

JANE: (Playful sneer and tone while keeping her faux-smile:) You're quite welcome, Krystal. I'm _always_ glad to be of service to my brother's girlfriend, and to my boyfriend's girl "friend".

There was a palpable silence in the air for a moment as the two young women struggled to maintain their phony appearance of civility. Trent glanced nervously between them for an instant, and then bravely plowed forward.

TRENT: (After a moment:) _Ummm_, hey, I gotta introduce our mom to you, Krystal. She wanted me to let her know as soon as you came in. I'll go to her room downstairs and--(turns to leave)

KRYSTAL: (Puts her hand gently on his shoulder, stops him:) Wait a moment, Trent. (Digs in her housecoat pocket, pulls out a folded slip of paper marked "Trent and Jane":) I almost forgot about this. I found it under a magnet on your refrigerator when I put my groceries in there this morning, (Grins, "sweet" tone:) and after I fed and let out those delightful cats you told me about, "Zachary" and "Taylor". I just _love _cats! In fact, I plan to get one when I go back home! (Jane does a mental eye roll. Krystal gives note to Trent. Jane crosses her arms, suspecting what the note will say)

TRENT: (Cocks an eyebrow, distracted for a moment:) You bought some _groceries_? (Pauses, actually awed:) _Whoa_. (Pauses:) Food.

KRYSTAL: (Slight frown, perplexed, while Jane knowingly shows an amused smirk:) Uh, yeah, Trent. (Pauses:) "Food". Like I told Jane, I wanted to cook you both some meals, starting with breakfast while I'm here, (mock-wounded tone and pout, cuts eyes to Jane:) but _Jane's_ going to go to the Morgendorffer's instead to eat some of _Darren's_ food. (Trent cocks an eyebrow at Jane)

JANE: (Thought v.o.: **Oho!** Trying to make me feel bad in front of my brother, and maybe get him to be a little annoyed at me for my bad manners, aren't you? Think again…) (Phony smile, sighs:) Okay, you got me, Krystal. I really wanted you two to have some time alone together since you haven't seen each other in awhile, that's all. (Krystal says nothing, merely adds her own phony smile, indifferent)

TRENT: (Smiles:) That's pretty cool of you, Janey. Thanks. (Unfolds, reads the note silently as Jane slightly smirks at a now-stoic Krystal:) Hmmm--mom suddenly left for Florida early this morning. (Looks up at both girls:) Something about an "Everglades pottery inspiration". She writes that she'll try and get back before you leave, Krystal.

JANE: (Snorts, rolls eyes:) Surprise, surprise...

TRENT: (Pauses, frowns slightly:) Yeah...

KRYSTAL: (After a moment:) Hm. I guess she must've left just before I arrived, or rose and left after I came in and hit the sack. Talk about bad timing. (Sighs, brightens:) Well, I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure she'll be back before I leave, right?

TRENT: (Weak shrug:) Uh, I guess.

JANE: (Low, wry tone:) I wouldn't hold my breath, though. You'll pass out from lack of oxygen. (Krystal cocks an eyebrow at her)

KRYSTAL: (Pauses, forced smile:) Uh, what about your dad? It's possible he could pop up, right?

JANE: (Smirks:) Not unless he's traveled around the world in a toaster will we see him anytime soon. (Trent chuckles. Krystal drops an odd eyebrow at her) Listen guys, I'm gonna take a quick shower and change, call and go over to Daria's, and on to what passes as high school. (In a brusque tone, particularly aimed at Krystal:) See you later. (Goes into bathroom, shuts door)

KRYSTAL: (Turns to Trent, smiles, hooks her arm with his, gently pulls him along as she speaks just loud enough for Jane to hear:) And in the meantime, after you and I change, I'll fix you a humongous breakfast, and show you those new clothes I told you about that I bought for you and your band.

TRENT: (Turns a bit green, meekly protests:) Aww--Krystal...those clothes looked okay when we saw the picture on Janey's monitor, but they didn't seem like they were our style to me...

KRYSTAL: (Grins, mock-admonishing voice, purrs:) Hush, baby. Your friends loved them, and overruled you, if you'll recall. We'll then go out, (In a teasing, still-loud tone:) get that nasty ol' old car of yours that you also told me about traded in to that "Happy Herb's" place, (Returns to her regular, still-loud tone:) and you can show me around town in your newer one. (Playfully pushes him into his room) See you in a few—-(Pauses, then pulls down, kisses him deeply again, whispers in his ear:) _lover_. (Releases Trent sensually, turns, goes into her room, her hips twisting. Trent looks after her, smiling, mesmerized for a moment, then slowly shuts his door)

In the bathroom, Jane, who had been listening (of course), turned and leaned back against the door with a stunned expression.

JANE: (Thought v.o.: Did I hear that right through all of that garbage she was spewing? Trent's gonna ditch his old Plymouth? If the housecleaning bit didn't do it for me, **this** sure does! How'd she talk him into doing **that? **He's had that car since he was **my** age! There's no freaking way that Trent could--dammit, I oughta call out Krystal's crap right now--)

Jane sighed, and then slumped.

JANE: (Thought v.o.: Stop it, Janey. You can't prove anything at the moment. According to Daria, Krystal's dad gave her that alibi. We **know** Krystal's lying because of Sesame's saying that she met her, and Sesame spoke to Krystal over the phone all those times. Mr. McKinna's **got** to be covering for his "darling daughter".)

Jane was about to pull off her shirt when she paused, looking off into space.

JANE: (Thought v.o.: No. No, that's not **quite **on target, Janey, is it? Sesame never **said** she met or talked to Krystal, dammit, only that she met someone once named "Sty Lark", which also happens to be an anagram for "Krystal". On top of that, we can't find Sesame, who has conveniently vanished. Which, Daria thinks, Krystal had something to do with as well—-Nervous mental chuckle: though I'm sure Krystal didn't exactly pay someone to off her so Sesame couldn't squeal—-you **hope**. All we have is "circumstantial" evidence...)

Jane then scowled.

JANE: (Thought v.o.: **Damn **the circumstances. I told Krystal she'd better not hurt my brother, and I **meant **it. Smirks, mentally chuckles again, this time more confidently: Besides, why in the hell am I so worried about Trent trying to trade in what passes as his car? **He'd** have to pay Happy Herb to take that thing off of his hands!) (Just as Jane's about to pull her shirt off, we switch to the next scene. Sorry, no free shows!)

_(Scene Twenty-Four: The Morgendorffer home, in the dining room, about 45 minutes later)_

The now-fully dressed Morgendorffers, Jane, and Darren (who were sitting next to one another) were eating the breakfast Darren had just prepared. Daria, Jane, Helen, and Darren feasted on western omelets, Texas toast, bacon, orange juice, and coffee, whereas Jake ate a small, low-fat broccoli and egg quiche with his coffee. Quinn had an equally small, low-fat tomato and egg quiche, along with a ripe slice of honeydew melon, seedless red grapes, orange juice, and low fat milk to round out her breakfast.

HELEN: (With her mouth full:) Mmm! Oh, son! This omelet is delicious!

JANE: (Ditto:) She ain't kidding! This is _the _best damn omelet I've ever eaten, Darren, (adds:) other than Henri's, that is--and that includes the ones from restaurants! (Swallows, grabs a bottle of hot sauce, shakes some more on her omelet)

QUINN: (Delighted look as she chews:) And my tomato quiche tastes _great,_ Darren! (Eagerly takes another bite, savors:) Mmmm…

JAKE: (Jumps in, grins:) Yeah, and I just _love_ my broccoli quiche, son! (Thought v.o. as his fork cuts his food, confused expression: Geez, Helen and Quinn sure love Darren's cooking, don't they? Even Jane's gobbling it down like there's no tomorrow! Can't say that I blame them though, 'cause this **is **delicious! Pauses, slight frown of deep thought: I wonder why none of them ever reacted to **my** food like that? Could it be they think—**naaah**!) (Continues eating blissfully)

After a moment, everyone glanced at Daria, who wordlessly chewed while she returned her own glance at them with her usual emotionless expression. Helen dropped a subtle eyebrow that suggested she say something positive (if that were possible). Jane merely smirked wordlessly at Daria while she continued to chew. Darren looked at his middle sister with a slightly twitching smile, trying not to anticipate laughing at the sarcasm he knew was headed his way.

DARIA: (Sighs, glances down at her food for an instant:) Eh. It's passable, I suppose. Give yourself a gold star, bro. (She takes another bite, chews. Jane grins while Darren finally laughs)

HELEN & JAKE: (Admonishing looks, while Quinn lightly rolls her eyes, not surprised:) Daria!

DARREN: (Holds up hands while still laughing:) It's okay! (Glances wryly at Daria:) I think that's her way of saying that she likes hers as well.

DARIA: (After a moment, shrugs:) Close enough. (Swallows, cuts her fork into another piece of the omelet. Thought v.o.: Dammit. This **is** the best omelet I've ever eaten, other than Henri's, like Jane said. If I can compliment **his** cooking, shouldn't it be easier for me to do the same for Darren's? Pauses, deadpan: Oh, that's right. I can't do that because my family and Jane are around at the moment, and I can't show them that I have a soft side for my brother, dammit. Best to wait until they're in the next state before I tell Darren what I really think…)

JANE: (Once again, speaking with her mouth full, mocks as she shakes her head slowly:) Oh, Daria, Daria, Daria. With that attitude, you'll never make it in writing as a food critic, will you? This omelet is _smo-kin'_! (Swallows, drinks some orange juice, then shakes yet more hot sauce on her omelet, starts eating again)

DARIA: (Smirks:) It _should_ be, Jane, since you keep drowning it in hot sauce. (Adds:) Careful not to burn up any more of that poor tongue of yours for when you need to use it to wrestle with my brother's as you make out with him. (Bites another piece)

QUINN: (Shudders, while Jane grins:) _Ewwwww! _

HELEN & JAKE: (Red-faced, while Darren laughs:) DARIA!

JANE: (Gives Darren a devilish expression:) Oh, I wouldn't worry about _that_ anytime soon, Daria. My tongue's _plenty_ long enough, right, Darren?

HELEN & JAKE: (Red-faced again, before a now red-faced Darren himself can speak:) JANE!

JANE: ("Innocent" expression as she chews:) What? (Pauses, shrugs:) _What?_

DARREN: (After a moment, grins at Jane:) You know, you're lucky I had brought enough "grub" last night to cover your suddenly being here. (Jane returns the grin as she chews) It's a good thing you called just before I started to cook to warn me of your pending arrival, or you would've been watching _us _eat. At least if you had eaten Krystal's cooking beforehand, you'd have a full stomach while doing so. (Jane chuckles, while Daria smirks slightly)

HELEN: (Admonishing tone of mild surprise, but slips in a chuckle of her own with Jake, while Quinn giggles:) Darren!

DARREN: (Returns chuckle:) Sorry, Helen, just kidding. But seriously, Jane, I sort of figured that you'd stay with Trent to try Krystal's food. She's a pretty good cook, having learned some from her grandmother, when Krystal and Rory stayed at her house over a few summers while her parents were out of the country on a business trip or two. (Jane cocks an eyebrow, and stops in mid-bite. Daria and Quinn also pause in mid-chewing, glance at each other, and then stare at Darren. Helen and Jake continue to eat, not noticing) Krystal told me that she hated to learn at first, but actually began to like it.

JANE: Oh, uh, really? (Pauses, glances at Daria, then at Quinn)

DARREN: (Shrugs, bites a forkful nonchalantly:) Yes. I've tasted her food before, though it's been quite awhile, before I met Stephanie, in fact. Krystal occasionally invited me over to her house and cooked a meal for me. (Jane wordlessly chews, a stoic look having covered her face. Daria and Quinn once again exchange glances)

Darren casually drank some juice for a moment, then continued.

DARREN: However, she surprised me by dropping off _two_ huge baskets of food for our extra-long student council meeting last Monday night at Eastward College. (Adds as Daria, Jane, and Quinn stop and stare at him:) Curtis and I told her the previous week that we were going to present to the council an idea to challenge the school's policy of allowing extra class credits for students working on part-time jobs. We thought it wasn't enough, based on Curtis's own experiences, and a few other student's as well, and that Eastward needed to allot even more. We figured the meeting would go about an hour over because we needed to work on an effective strategy. (Chuckles:) Everyone loved Krystal's tuna on rye sandwiches, chocolate cake, and sodas. Good thing no one thought about ordering take-out beforehand...

HELEN: (Smiles:) Oh, that was very nice of her, son!

JAKE: (Grins, nods:) Yeah!

DARIA: (Pauses as she eyes Jane, who continues to look stoic as she's chewing:) Um, don't take this the wrong way, bro, but how do you know that Krystal actually _made_ all of that food by herself? Did she _say_ that she did? (Jane snaps out of her funk, shows a slight smirk at Daria. Darren cocks an eyebrow, stops in mid-bite) It just seems like it's a lot of food for one person to make, even with advance notice.

JANE: (Nods slowly:) Hey, _yeeeah!_ Now that Daria's mentioned it, it _does_ seem like Krystal would have to be a super girl to do all that, don't you think--?

QUINN: (Immediately jumps in, particularly when she notices Darren's about to say something:) --Yeah, Darren, uh, they're _right_! (Everyone, **especially** Daria and Jane, surprisingly eye her) I mean, she might've had her chef help her at least, you know--? How can you be so sure, and everything, (adds casually, shrugs as she bites another forkful of her quiche:) not that there's anything wrong with kinda stretching the truth at times--

DARIA: (Slight smirk:) On that last part, that's _too_ easy to comment on concerning _you_ of all people, Quinn. (Quinn swallows, licks out her tongue briefly at Daria. Helen gives both girls a brief frown of disapproval, but says nothing)

DARREN: (Pauses, takes in what they've all said, slight frown:) Well, uh, now that I think about it, I _assumed_ that she did when she dropped those baskets off. (Pauses, ponders, narrows eyes:) In fact, she never _did_ say that she made the food. I wonder how I could've thought that--?

DARIA: (As she throws a quick, knowing look at Jane, then, amazingly enough, at Quinn.) (Thought v.o. as both return their own, quick looks: It's pretty easy to think that, Darren. Krystal just wanted you and your friends to **believe **that she did it all by herself. She's quite nasty at that type of manipulation, isn't she...?)

HELEN: (Smiles at Darren, good-naturedly adds:) Well, it's _her_ thought that counts, Darren, no matter _who_ actually made that food. (Daria and Jane give her a brief, droll look) Anyway, I wished you'd woken us up to let us help you prepare all of this! Aren't you the least bit tired, son? We didn't know you'd get right back up after only two to three hours of sleep, and start cooking!

JAKE: (Nods frantically:) Yeah, Big Guy! (Points at himself with his thumb, grins:) I could've given you some of _my_ cookin' expertise, too, you know! (Daria, Helen, and Quinn stop eating for a moment to give him uneasy, alarmed expressions with Darren. Jane quickly drinks some orange juice to keep from chuckling)

DARREN: (Quickly speaks:) Er, _no!_ (Pauses, calms down:) I mean, uh, no, it--wasn't any problem, really. Besides, I slept some on the jet ride here with Krystal, and I feel fine. I can take a quick nap after I come back if I start feeling tired. I've done this at home while going to Eastward because I've had to sometimes study business into the early morning hours, (Grins at Daria and Jane:) something that I'm sure you'll both appreciate doing next year, Jane, sis.

JANE: (Returns the grin:) _Hah!_ I'm _used _to staying up until the dawn working on my masterpieces! Bring it on! (Resumes eating)

DARIA: (Deadpan as she takes another bite:) Ah, the perils of college: stealing sleep between all of the studying, not to mention all of the eating. (Smirks as she glances at her mother while chewing:) I guess that means I won't have any time to get into too many extracurricular college activities and meet other people, eh, Mom?

HELEN: (Returns smirk:) Don't worry, sweetie. I still have a year to scheme something up, (Cuts eyes to Jane and Darren, playful tone:) plus I'm sure your brother and Jane will help me either way… (Drinks coffee)

JANE: (Swallows, grins:) I've already called the dragging-Daria-to-parties-against-her-own-will part! Though like I told her, Darren will probably host several under his roof, (shrugs:) so either way, she's screwed. (Forks, bites another piece of omelet)

DARIA: (Reserved sigh, deadpan:) I can always rely on your absolute loyalty, soon-to-be-dead friend of mine. (Forks her piece of omelet, chews)

JANE: (Chuckles while chewing:) Hey, I'm just giving in to the inevitable, Daria. I say sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride to adulthood. (Swings fist:) Full speed ahead!

DARIA: (Swallows:) Any chance before you open it up, I can jump off beforehand and stay here in Teenageville forever? (Pauses:) No, wait, scratch that. That'll mean I'd have to stay in high school, and even _I_ don't deserve _that_ fate… (forks, bites another piece)

DARREN: (Chuckles with the others:) And since Jane's covering Daria's off-campus escapades, I guess that leaves me with her on-campus ones. (Wicked smirk:) Speaking of which, Daria, your buddy Dean Pierpoint wanted me to inform you that he's looking forward to _personally _helping you enter the various writing clubs and other organizations when you arrive next year. (Adds, tries not to laugh, while Helen grins:) I'm only too happy to let you know.

DARIA: (Takes this in calmly, then in a deadpan tone as she eyes Darren:) Jane, I'm gonna veer our ride to adulthood slightly off the road so I can run over Darren and Dean Pierpoint, okay?

JANE: (Finishes her omelet, while chewing, waves fork at her:) Eh. As long as you don't kill your brother and my boyfriend so he can cook for me some more, I say go for it. You can leave him a _little_ crippled, I suppose. (Darren chuckles) As for your future dean, I'll leave it up to you as to how hard you wanna ram him.

JAKE: (Stops eating, concerned expression:) Uh, ya know, Kiddo, Jane, I think you both can go to jail for hit and run, (To Helen:) isn't that right, honey--?

HELEN: (Exasperated, sighs:) Jake! Daria and Jane were only _joking_!

JAKE: (Faux-chuckle, embarrassed:) Oh, uh, I knew _that_! HA! (Quickly resumes eating to cover himself. Everyone merely stares silently at him for a moment)

QUINN: (Breaks the silence:) Um, anyway, I'm glad you're coming earlier to our school, Darren. (Grins, becomes excited:) That way you'll see the flowers and the welcome banner we made for you even sooner! (Darren cocks an eyebrow)

DARIA: (Deadpan, steals a knowing glance at Jane, and vice-versa:) I'm sure Darren's just _aching_ to see the fruits of the Fashion Club's labor, Quinn. (Finishes off the last piece of her omelet, stands:) That reminds me. I have to make a quick call. Excuse me. Be back in a few. (Leaves)

Everyone stared after Daria for a moment. Darren then spoke.

DARREN: (Pauses:) Ah, flowers and banners, Quinn? (Pauses:) For _me?_

QUINN: (Nods, drinks her milk, swallows:) Yeah! It was all Ms. Li's idea, and stuff! She said she didn't want to spare any expense in making the school look nice for you, and everything... (finishes the rest of her milk)

JANE: (Slight smirk as she eyes Darren's now-forming brief frown:) Gee, that was _awfully_ nice of her to do that, huh, Darren? (Pointed tone:) Going to all of that _expense?_

DARREN: (Eyes Jane, now-neutral expression:) Yeah, it was, Jane. (Pauses:) "Awfully" nice. (Pauses:) Uh, I know you don't probably want to give too much away sis, but out of curiosity, how big _is_ this banner? Is there more than one?

QUINN: (Shakes head, bites into a grape:) Nah, just one, bro, around five feet high, an' about thirty feet long, I think. The letters are done in a royal blue, while the banner is a lemon yellow, you know, our school's colors. (Smug expression:) The Fashion Club personally picked what we thought was the _right_ blue and yellow, not some icky, dumb ol' blue and yellow.

HELEN: (Raised eyebrows:) Oh, my! All of that for Darren, sweetie? (Quinn wordlessly nods, finishes eating her melon slice)

JAKE: (Ditto, grins to Darren:) Wow, Big Guy! It looks like Ms. Li's pulled out all the stops for ya, hasn't she?

DARREN: (After a moment, glances at a still-smirking Jane:) Umm-hmm, it seems like she has, Jake. (Pauses, returns glance to Quinn:) _Sooo,_ did any students volunteer to do the poster and pick the flowers from some field, or something, Quinn? (Quinn cocks an eyebrow. Darren adds:) You, know, I'm just curious. I wouldn't have wanted your principal or your fellow students and friends to go to all of that trouble just for me.

QUINN: (Shrugs, nonchalant tone, smiles:) Oh, it was no trouble, Darren. Ms. Li said that she had gotten some clothing company to sew the banner. It's a really fancy-looking cloth one, and stuff. (Darren's eyebrows rise **very** high at this, while Jane tries not to snicker) She had a florist provide the flowers. (Wipes her hands on a napkin, then checks her nails. Helen and Jake glance at each other)

DARREN: (Nods while Jane now shakes her head slowly:) I--see. (Pauses as if he's mentally filing away what Quinn's said, which he is. Adds in a stoic, mock-excited tone:) Well, uh, I _sure_ can't wait to see both, sis. (Jane silently snorts under her breath, finishes chugging down her orange juice)

HELEN: (Pauses, cocks an eyebrow:) Darren, it's just occurred to me: How much _were_ you planning to donate to the high school? You've never said, exactly...

DARREN: That's because I've still not settled on a set amount, Helen. It'll all depend on Ms. Li's—-(pauses, looks for the right word, glances at a smiling Jane:) "cooperation" in helping me to decide. (To Helen and Jake's dropped eyebrows:) Uh, we just have to work out certain financial "kinks", you might say. I've also decided to donate some money to the entire Lawndale County school system, not just to the high school. No need to make it look as if I'm favoring just the high school level. I believe education has to be fully funded throughout, from preschool to college.

HELEN: (Smiles, delighted:) Well, I think that's just wonderful, sweetie!

JAKE: (Ditto:) It sure is, Big Guy! (Thumbs up:) I'm proud of you!

QUINN: (Nods:) Yeah, so am I! We can get more stuff for our school, like full-length mirrors in the bathrooms for girls to see themselves better! (Jane chuckles under her breath. Helen gives Quinn a disapproving look)

JAKE: (Grins:) Good for you, Princess! I'm proud of you, too! (Darren grins)

HELEN: (Annoyed:) Jake! Now, Quinn, there are more important things to school than just larger mirrors—

QUINN: (Nods:) --Yeah, Mom, you're right, like eventually maybe some personal make-up rooms for the female students all over the school to try out blushes, eye liners, and lipstick between classes, too. But this is just a start. (Darren laughs with Jane)

HELEN: Quinn--! (Sighs, puts it out of her head, smiles at her son:) With all of the nasty budget cuts our state and federal legislators are making these days, especially in education, it's great to see someone do something about it, son.

DARREN: (Shrugs, glances at Jane:) I have plenty of money. I might as well put it to good use.

JANE: If that's the case, then maybe you can buy some of our teachers a new personality, like offering a dollar to them for each encouraging smile and comment they give to a student during class. (The others chuckle)

Daria re-entered the dining room with a glass of water, and took her seat at the table.

HELEN: (While drinking her coffee, curious tone:) Who did you call, Daria?

DARIA: (Pauses, glances at Jane:) Um, Brittany Taylor, for a confirmation of sorts. (Jane forms a brief look of realization, but keeps silent. Helen, Jake, and especially Quinn gives her an odd look, waiting for an explanation. Daria quickly adds:) I, uh, wanted to make sure that a science homework assignment we're both working on in Ms. Barch's class was due today, which it is. Brittany and I share the same table. (The others then appear to look satisfied with her explanation, save for Jane, who silently eyes Daria, as if she's waiting for more. Daria merely shows her a wry, quick smile)

DARREN: (Pauses, contemplates:) Brittany Taylor--? Isn't she that blonde, pony-tailed cheerleader who, (Glances at Jane uneasily for an instant, then continues:) uh, tried to come onto me earlier this summer at that "Pizza King" place? (Helen and Jake look at each other)

QUINN: (Giggles, nods:) That's her, Darren!

DARIA: Ditto, unfortunately. (Drinks her glass of water)

JANE: (Grins at Darren's uneasiness, glances at Daria, mock-offended tone:) Why haven't _I _heard of this? Aren't _you _the lover-boy?

DARREN: (Returns grin as he sees she's obviously not serious:) Don't get any funny ideas, Jane. That little incident happened before I met you, and I'm definitely _not_ interested in that "Brittany" girl. Besides, she's going with that "Kevin" guy, right? (Takes a bite of the final piece of his omelet)

DARIA: (Smirks at Jane, nonchalant tone:) Oh, yeah, speaking of Kevin, Brittany also told me that right after school yesterday, Ms. Barch nearly beat the hell out of him in the hallway. (Daria casually drinks her glass of water again. Everyone, save for a now-disappointed Jane, gasps. Daria swallows, continues:) Apparently, he tried to knock her down for some reason, and she set herself upon the poor male lad. (Exaggerated sigh:) I guess Kevin finally decided that life wasn't worth living anymore…

DARREN: (Wide-eyed:) _I'll_ say! I don't care if that "Barch" woman _did_ know martial arts like me, I'm glad she didn't catch me that day she was chasing me! I'd hate to have gotten into a scuffle with her! That lady's _nuts_!

JANE: (Smirks, reaches over, pats his hand mock-assuredly:) Then I guess you don't want to see her any time soon, huh? I heard Ms. Barch say that she wanted to see you again for some reason. (Daria shows a small smirk)

DARREN: (Keeps his now even-wider-eyed expression, looks between Daria and Jane:) She _does_? (Pauses:) What, so she can finish the job?

JANE: (Laughs:) I dunno, but it sure sounded pretty important, "Darry".

DARREN: (Sits back:) Uh, well, maybe we'll see, Jane, perhaps while you guys are in class, and after I finish speaking to Ms. Li. (Thought v.o., inwardly shudders: **Not**...:) I'll need to keep myself busy between classes, anyway…

HELEN: (Shakes head slowly:) What in the world was that Kevin boy thinking, Daria, attacking your science teacher like that?

QUINN: (Rolls her eyes:) _Muh—om_! "Thinking" and "Kevin" do _not _go in the same sentence! (Frowns:) I can't _believe_ I actually liked that jerk once!

JAKE: (Frowns, slams fists on table, which startles everyone and rattles the dishes:) Well, crap! And to think that I liked that jerk, too! (Everyone gives him an odd look, to which Jake quickly adds, panicked:) I mean, not like _that!_ It was when he came over that time to work with you on some school project, Daria, remember? We bonded while watching the Pigskin Channel!

DARIA: (Small smile:) I remember, Dad, (Adds, cuts a wry eye to her sister:) though he didn't exactly "work" with me as well as he did with _Quinn_…

QUINN: (Glares:) Oh, that's _really_ funny, Daria! I just _told_ you that I liked him once! I don't like guys like Kevin anymore, as a matter of fact, (throws her hair back, waves her off:) I'm _way_ past him _and _guys _like _him! (Glances at her nails again)

DARIA: (Thought v.o., somber: Yeah, I know, especially since you're into guys like **David**, now.) (Notices Darren giving Quinn a subtle, concerned stare, with Jane cocking her own, curious eyebrow at him. Jane then glances briefly at Daria herself) (Thought v.o.: And apparently, I'm not the **only** one who's come to this conclusion…)

DARREN: (Stops staring at Quinn when he notices Jane, glances at his wristwatch, turns to Helen and Jake, small smile:) Uhh, hey, aren't you two going to be late for work? (Begins to stand:) Here, I'll start to clean up--

HELEN: (Mild frown as she gently reaches over and grabs his arm:) You'll do no such thing, young man! After cooking this delicious breakfast, there's _no _way I'm going to allow you to do any more extra housework this morning! I'll clean up the dishes. I'm taking a few days off from the firm while you're here, anyway.

Daria and Quinn looked briefly shocked, along with Jake. Despite their all noticing that Helen was indeed doing far less work these days at the firm because of her new partnership, none of them figured that she would take off the _entire_ time for Darren's visit.

HELEN: (Not noticing their expressions, continues:) Taking off will also give me time to decide whether or not to recommend to the other litigants that we should renew our lawsuit against those _Weekly Blabber _bastards. (Frowns:) How _dare _they _and _the FBI team up to hide the fact that you were innocent over killing that Bowman man just before settling with us, Darren?

DARREN: (Slight smile:) Like I said, Helen, I'm just happy that the FBI cleared me. (Pauses, adds:) When you think about it further, it's not as if the FBI and Bowman's conglomerate "teamed up" to do this. The FBI simply found out after investigating that I had an ironclad alibi, and told the _Blabber, _which decided to quickly settle with you and those psychologists so they wouldn't have to pay any more money.

HELEN: (Cocks eyebrow:) Don't tell me that you actually _agree _with what they, particularly the _Blabber_ did, son?

DARREN: No, not from a _personal_ standpoint, but from a purely _business _one, yes. Looking at it from a financial perspective, they were watching out for their bottom line.

DARIA: Don't you mean, watching out for their _bottoms,_ Darren? (Helen, for once, smirks at one of Daria's cracks)

DARREN: (Small, brief grin:) Good one, sis. (Takes on a serious expression, to Helen:) Look, if you want to pursue reopening the lawsuit with the others, then it's your call, and I'll definitely support you. But, you and the others also have $100,000 and an apology, and as you know, legally, this could end up taking years in the courts, with Bowman's company endlessly filing appeals. Is that what you want?

HELEN: (Pensive expression, sighs:) I--don't know, son. I _do _know that although we signed an agreement not to sue Bowman's company in the future again after we settled, I'm of the opinion that this development _does _change things legally, and _can_ be challenged. (Ponders, turns:) Jake, Daria, Quinn, what do you all think? Should I try to reopen the lawsuit? I'm sure the psychologists would follow whatever I decide, since they deferred all of the legal matters in this case to me.

JAKE: Gee, honey, maybe we should just drop it? I mean, Darren's got a point. Why go through all that legal hassle?

QUINN: (Brightens, gasps:) But it could even mean _more_ money, and everything, Mom! (Daria mouths, "It figures", to herself) You can really get that company but good!

HELEN: One for, one against. What do you think, Daria?

DARIA: (Pauses, considers:) This is like _Let's Make A Deal_, where you already have a nice prize, but then you're offered a chance at an even better one if you exchange what you have for what's behind door number three, but it incurs risk because it could turn out you could win something useless, like, oh, a year's supply of pore refiner—

QUINN: (Mildly offended, frowns:) --Hey! Speak for yourself, Daria!

DARIA: (Small Mona Lisa smile, while the others chuckle:) I'm not, Quinn. I'm speaking for _you_. _I_ don't need the stuff. (Quinn rolls her eyes. Daria grows serious:) Financially, and I might add, ironically, you and the others would have to spend the settlement money to help your case, Mom, not to mention taking up time from your jobs in court, and it still wouldn't guarantee that you'd win, even if you pooled your resources. On the other hand, you could expect a kick-ass windfall for your troubles if you all _do_ win, and it would've been worth it, sooo… (Pauses, grows silent, ponders)

HELEN: (After a moment of waiting with everyone else:) Sooo…?

DARIA: (Sighs:) Bluntly, I think you should sit on what you have, Mom, so you can come out ahead. Why gamble if you don't have to? (Quinn mouths, "It figures", to Darren. Daria notices this, adds:) It's not like we need the money, though I'm sure Quinn really was looking forward to that second home on the Riviera... (Quinn snorts. Jane chuckles with Darren)

HELEN: (Nods slowly:) You've all made very good points, especially you, sweetie. I suppose I really _don't_ need the extra money, or waste the time to reopen this lawsuit. But, out of common courtesy, I'll still contact the others who might want to go after Mr. Bowman's company on their own. I'll tell them that I've decided to drop out, though.

DARREN: (Also nods:) I think that's a wise choice, Helen. (Pauses, smiles:) Now, getting back to those dishes, are you sure you don't--

HELEN: (Returns smile, firm tone:) --Yes, I am, son. Don't worry about them. Besides, you don't want to be late coming in early to the high school, do you, hmm? (Pauses to the confused stares of everyone, confused frown herself:) Wait a minute...

DARIA: (Immediately reaches into her pocket, pulls out her trusty pad and pencil, scribbles:) "Late coming in early". Mom, as much as it kills me to say this, that was an absolutely brilliant and ironic quote. I have _got _to use that in a story sometime. (Pauses, adds:) I call first dibs.

JANE: (Swings fist, mock frown:) Curse you, Morgendorffer! I coulda made a ton of money using that quote in my art!

DARIA: (Small smile:) Let's pretend I'm one of Darren's omelets and bite me, Jane. (Darren laughs with Jane)

HELEN: (Rolls her eyes with Quinn, who shakes her head:) Oh, for the love of--(sighs:) never mind, you two. (Notices Jake drinking coffee:) Honey, aren't _you_ going to be late for work? You said you wanted to get as much done as possible today before you took tomorrow off…

JAKE: (Puts down his cup:) Huh? (Goofy grin, remembers:) Oh, yeah! I've decided that I'm takin' a few days off myself, starting today!

HELEN: (Surprised look with Daria and Quinn:) You _are_? Why didn't you tell me? What about Agnes? Is she off, too?

JAKE: (Waves her off:) _Nahh!_ See, I've gotten Agnes to catch up on some paperwork that I fallen behind on. (Shrugs:) You know, mundane stuff, and she'll take care of any messages to give to me when I get back. Or, she'll call me on the phone if it's a real emergency! (Frowns, realizes:) Besides, why do _I_ have to say anything in advance about getting a few days off, especially to see my son? _You_ didn't! (Gestures wildly with his arms:) I'm my own boss and man, dammit, and if I wanna take off, I'll take _off_! (Looks up, frowns again, shakes fist:) You got that, Old Man?! _I'm_ taking off! (Jane and Darren glance at each other, uncomfortable)

DARIA: (Thought v.o.: You're taking off all right, Dad. Final call for flight J-A-K-E, now boarding for parts unknown...)

QUINN: (Hard sigh, frowns:) Daddy! Like, calm down, okay?

HELEN: (Exasperated expression:) Yes, Jake, will you get a _grip_? I'm sorry for even bringing it up in the first place! If you want to take some days off, starting today, then that's fine!

JAKE: (Immediately calms down:) Oh, uh, okay, then. (Hopeful look to Darren:) Hey, Big Guy! What're you doing after you come back from school? I was hoping we could hang out a little before we play that golf game with Angier Sloane tomorrow! (Crafty expression, narrows eyes, grins:) You know, maybe go out to the club for our own golf match beforehand, so we can get a little jump on him--?

DARREN: (Pauses, hesitates, looks at Daria and Jane:) Oh, sorry, Jake. I have plans to go out with Jane and Daria. (Jake tries to keep an understanding smile, but it's forced) We probably won't be getting back until early evening as well, especially if I'm not tired from getting up early. (Adds:) Daria, you said Tom's going to join us at that "Pizza King" place--?

DARIA: (Mona Lisa smile at Jane:) –-Yeah, where Jane's volunteered to buy us all a super large pizza with the works, save for those damn anchovies, right, Jane? (Darren looks between them, surprised)

JANE: (Mock-glares:) _Ohhh_ yeah, Daria. Thanks ever-so-much for reminding me…

DARIA: (Keeps her smile:) Don't mention it.

JANE: (Returns smile:) I already did.

DARIA: (Mock-utters in a low tone:) Lousy, non-precognitive senses…

DARREN: Jane, you don't really have to buy--

JANE: (Leans over, puts her finger on his lips:) --_Ah-ah_, dear boy! I _do _have the moolah these days to do such a thing, you know. Why should _you _have all the fun in buying everything for everybody? Learn to mooch off of others like everyone else, and stop being so damn nice and generous for a change! (Removes her finger)

DARREN: (Chuckles:) You're going to regret uttering those words. Just for that, I'm going to deliberately build up an enormous appetite this afternoon.

JANE: (Evil grin:) Heh, draw up your accursed appetite plans and make them as fancy as you want, "Darry"! I can cover anything you, Daria, and Tom can eat at me! (Shakes fist:) Let the challenge begin! Let the pepperoni pizzas whiz by! I have plenty of money to throw around at you fools!

QUINN: (Wide-eyed:) Throwing _pizzas_? (Frowns, disgusted, shudders:) _Ewwww_! Gross! Why would you guys want to do _that _with your food?! (Daria, Jane, and Helen roll their eyes, while Darren laughs at Quinn's crack. Quinn rolls on, not noticing:) It's like, bad enough to _eat_ all of that icky, fat-soaked, cheese, meat, and sauce and everything that's on the pizzas, but to have them spilled all over an expensive and beautiful, say, Gilaviniani dress after some dumb ol' food fight is too much—

DARIA: (Deadpan:) --As opposed to your nonfat, no-cheese-and-meat, paper-thin pizzas that barely are above being classified as "cardboard", but hey, at least your "Gilacrappy" dress will survive, clean as a whistle. To hell with these things called "bibs", or "napkins". (Quinn playfully sticks her tongue out again at Daria. The others chuckle, though Helen gives Daria an admonishing, but playful eyebrow drop)

DARREN: (Cocks an eyebrow, pauses:) Does that mean you're not going to be able to join us, Quinn--?

QUINN: Huh? Oh, uh, no, Darren. Sorry. I'm—(Pauses:) um, going to be doing some fashion stuff with Sandi and Tiffany after school. (Quickly smiles:) But we'll spend some time together later, right?

DARREN: (Returns smile:) Sure. (Chuckles, jokes:) I'll try to "squeeze" you in with everyone else while I'm here, somehow. (Jane pauses, appears to want to say something, but decides to stay silent)

HELEN: (Raised eyebrows, now realizes:) Oh my! Jane, how successful _have_ you been with selling your art?

JANE: (Shrugs, looks at her hands, turning them over as if she's examining them, blows on them, smiles:) _We—ell_, Mrs. Morgendorffer, I don't wanna _brag—_

DARIA: (Smirks:) Yes, you do—

JANE: (Wild grin, jumps in, looks around at everyone, excited:) You're right, Daria, I _do_! See, I'm doing pretty well locally with my artwork and sculptures. I've just sold two paintings and a sculpture a couple of days ago for a nice wad of cash. It's been like that for a while, now. (Thought v.o., glumly tempered: Well, ever since I first met Darren, that is…:) I figured that you knew. In fact, I've had a write-up about my work in the latest local art magazine _Art & Sculpture Right Now._ (Reaches over and down into her book bag under the table, takes out the magazine, glances at Darren:) I was planning to surprise you later today by telling you about it. Trent and Daria already know, by the way. (Gives magazine to Darren)

DARREN: (Smiles, delighted as he takes the magazine:) That's great, Jane! Congratulations! (The others, save for Daria, also add their own congratulations, though Jake, still down from not being able to spend any time with his son today, is less enthused. As for Daria, she simply shows a tiny smile of pride in her friend)

JANE: (Returns smile:) Thanks, Darren, everybody. (Quickly adds nonchalantly:) The article's on page ten, by the way. The review on my work was all positive and enthusiastic as well, (Counts on her fingers:) and it's twelve paragraphs long, spanning three pages, has a stunningly beautiful and gorgeous picture of me and some of my art— (Darren chuckles, opens the magazine to page ten. Helen, Quinn, and a still less than excited Jake rise, go around the table, and gather to read over his shoulder)

DARIA: (Playful eye roll, smirks, in a deadpan, droning tone:) –Containing approximately 10,997 words, of which such phrases as "promising, new, hip, and deep artist" occupy every 100th word of said article, (Curves her right hand to the form of a mouth, moves her thumb and fingers:) yadda, yadda, yadda—

JANE: (Mock-annoyed look and tone at Daria, returns smirk, continues on:) –_Annnd_ I've sent a copy of the magazine to Tess Donovan, you know, the head chancellor of the New York City Art School, where I'm going next year--? She was pretty happy for me as well.

DARIA: --Speaking of copies, did I also mention that you brought ten additional ones for yourself?

JANE: (Wry tone and smile:) Not until just now. Thanks _loads_ for pointing that out.

DARIA: Don't mention it. (Smirks:) Again.

JANE: I just did. (Smirks in return:) Again.

DARREN: (Playful, sneering tone as he looks up from reading:) Gee, it's a good thing all of this isn't going to your head, Jane.

JANE: (Returns the same tone, smiles:) Oh, but it _is_, "Darry". (Holds both sides of her head, shakes it gently from side to side:) My head's so big now, it's practically about to _explode_ with ego! (Darren laughs)

DARIA: (Deadpan:) No question about humility _here…_

QUINN: (She shudders as she sits back in her seat. Helen and Jake also return to theirs:) Ew! Jane! Don't say that!

JANE: (Chuckles with Darren:) Sorry, Quinn. I didn't mean to gross you out _too_ much.

DARIA: Yes, you did.

JANE: (Smiles sweetly at Quinn:) Okay, I did, but not too much, really. (Quinn snorts briefly, shakes her head)

HELEN: (Brightens:) Perhaps I'll buy a piece or two of your art while I'm off, Jane--? (Jane looks quite surprised. Daria cocks an eyebrow) I look at that family portrait in the living room, and I love it every time I lay my eyes on it! Do you have many other works that you've done recently? (Daria gives her mother a brief look that practically screams, "You're **kidding**, right? She's an artist!")

JANE: (Notices Daria's glance at Helen, keeps herself from grinning:) Uh, sure, Mrs. Morgendorffer. I have several works of my paintings and sculptures in a gallery here in town, in addition to some others in and around the area. (Reaches into her jacket pocket, pulls out a card, which she gives to Helen:) That's to a place called "Gary's Gallery", just off of Forman Drive. I know the owner. He's okay. Just tell him you know me, and he'll give you a discount.

HELEN: (Smiles:) Thank you, Jane. (Stares at card, slight frown:) Hmm. "Gary's Gallery". I think I've heard of this place in passing, somewhere... (pockets card)

QUINN: (Looks at her pink wristwatch, reaches down, grabs her book bag, stands:) Well, uh, we'd better get to school, and stuff. (Grins:) We _are_ gonna ride in the Escalade, right, Darren? (Daria and Jane glance at each other as they grab their own book bags, and stand with Darren)

DARREN: (Returns grin:) Of course, sis. I promised that we would.

QUINN: (Tepidly adds:) Um, you don't mind if you pick up my friends at their houses on the way to school, do you? I called Sandi and Tiffany just before we ate, and told them that you would—

DARIA: (Cuts her off:) --I _knew_ there was a catch when you asked our brother to get that thing. You just _have _to show off Darren's fancy land cruiser to the rest of the fashion horde, don't you?

HELEN: (Dropped eyebrow:) Now, Daria, I--

QUINN: (Frowns, interrupts:) --_Hey_! For your information, I've ridden in luxury SUV's before, like the rest of the Fashion Club—

DARIA: (Returns the interruption:) --Oh, I don't doubt _that._ I _know _that you've all had (finger quote:) "certain" standards of being seen with (finger quote:) "certain" boyfriends in (finger quote:) "certain" vehicles during (finger quote:) "certain" times of the day and month in the past. (Quinn glares. Daria sighs, exasperated:) Quinn, I just want to quietly travel to school this morning without what I anticipate will be your friend's usual prattling over being impressed by a GPS system, CD changer, DVD/ TV, and whatever other fancy bells and whistles Darren has in his SUV.

DARREN: (Glances at Jane, who merely shrugs indifferently:) Look, I don't think--

QUINN: (Keeping her glare, interrupts:) --Then why don't you just _walk_ to school, Daria? That way, you don't haveta worry about hearing that "prattling" stuff you think Sandi, Tiffany, and I would be saying about the SUV's G.P.A., and everything! Nobody's asking you to ride, anyway!

HELEN: (Frowns, suddenly stands, commanding tone:) Girls! That's _enough_! (Startled at her tone, Daria and Quinn stop. Helen sighs:) Quinn, you should've let Darren know earlier about Sandi and Tiffany before putting your brother on the spot like that— (Quinn gasps in shock, while Daria slightly smirks)

DARREN: (Raised eyebrows:) Huh? But it's really no prob--

HELEN: (Plows on before Darren can continue:) –And that being said, Daria, I don't think there's any harm in riding to school with Quinn's friends in Darren's rental. It's not so far that you couldn't put up with a _little _talking, at least. (This time, it's Quinn's turn to smirk. Daria's mouth turns down slightly in disapproval) From what I've seen, it's quite a nice vehicle, and I couldn't blame your sister or her friends for wanting to talk about it. (Hesitates:) Er, in fact, if you're receptive, son, I'd like to ride in it myself, since I've never ridden in an Escalade before, (Adds tepidly, in her falsetto tone, forced smile:) um, perhaps when you and I visit where I work--? Eric and my other partners want to meet with you again, dear. (Daria cocks an eyebrow, but remains silent)

DARREN: (Pauses, shrugs:) Sure, no problem, and of course I'm receptive, Helen. In fact, I have an extended, named, nonowner liability insurance that covers any immediate family members if they want to drive it, (Quinn brightens up in delight. Darren notices, grins, adds:) except you, of course, sis. You don't even have your learner's permit, yet. (Quinn's face drops in disappointment. Darren adds:) However, when you get it, I'll put you on next time as well, as long as somebody from the family's riding with you, that is.

QUINN: (Smiles:) Okay, Darren, I can wait! I'll be getting my learner's permit later this year, anyway.

HELEN: (Nods, satisfied:) Good. That's settled. (Pauses, realizes:) Wait. Quinn, don't you have another little friend with Sandi and Tiffany, too? What's her name--?

QUINN: (Scowls briefly, annoyed that her mother would forget so easily, sighs:) "Stacy", Mom. She's staying out of school today to get ready for that Bliss Cosmetics interview thingy in Baltimore I told you about last night, remember?

HELEN: Oh, yes, "Stacy"… (Notices Jake, who seems sad and has a faraway expression:) Jake--? Is something wrong? (The others look at Jake)

JAKE: (In his own little world, stares ahead, thought v.o.: Gee, maybe I should've gone into work so I'd have something to do. I wonder if Helen's gonna be busy after she calls those shrinks? Crap! Why can't Andrew, Steve, and Calvin be off today like me?! I'll tell you why, Jake! It's because they don't like you, except to use you through your son! It's not fair, dammit! Maybe I'll just play with my train set, or something…)

HELEN: (Cocks an eyebrow, nervously glances at the others, a bit louder in tone:) Er, _Jake_--?

JAKE: (Snaps out of his trance, goofy grin:) Huh? Oh, uh, sorry, honey, everybody. I was just thinking about what I could do with my spare time today. (Sighs, slumps, looks off into space, mutters just loud enough:) Guess I'll just play with myself 'till you guys get back—

QUINN: (Wide-eyed, stunned:) DADDY! _Ewwww!_ (As she runs out from the dining room, disgusted look:) If I didn't have to go to school, I'd take another shower! _Ewwww! Ewwww!_ (Disappears around the corner)

HELEN: (Same expression as Quinn:) QUINN! No, wait! Your father didn't mean it like-- (Turns, red-faced at the obviously unintentional inference, frowns, hard sigh:) DAMMIT, JAKE!

JAKE: (Completely baffled as he looks after Quinn:) Huh? What'd I say?

HELEN: (Quickly turns to a **very** widely-smirking Daria and Jane, points to the way out:) DARIA! JANE! DON'T EVEN **THINK** ABOUT SAYING A **DAMN** THING! JUST FOLLOW QUINN, AND GET TO SCHOOL THIS INSTANT! **GO!** (Both girls briefly glance at each other while fighting the urge to laugh yes, even and especially Daria, and quickly leave)

Darren, who had been laughing hard all during this time, had fallen down to his knees on the dining room floor, holding his stomach, red-faced, and howling. His eyes started to water, and he was unable to speak, much less even to think, coherently.

Helen, still red-faced and embarrassed, briefly glanced down at her laughing son. She thought about saying something to him, but gave up, sighed, slumped back into her chair, and put her head on the table after she gently pushed her now-empty plate aside.

Jake looked between his wife and son, and scratched his head, utterly confused.

_(Scene Twenty-five: The Lawndale High parking lot, about fifteen minutes later. Darren's rental SUV rolls into a parking space. A few students walking by in the background stop and stare. Darren, holding what appears to be a computer notebook, gets out with a smiling and chattering Quinn, who had been riding shotgun. Sandi and Tiffany, both of whom had been in the second row, and are also smiling and chattering, follow, as does Daria and Jane, who were in the third row. The remaining FC'ers gather around Darren for a moment, talking)_

DARIA: (As she and Jane get out, low voice:) Actually, as much as I hate to admit it, the ride here wasn't half-bad, (Jane smirks. Daria frowns:) and no, I'm _not _talking about the quietness and comfort of the Escalade, or those damn rear headset TVs we all had—(Adds tepidly:) tempting as it was. I'm referring to Quinn's not being able to go on about the leather upholstery like she really wanted because of Darren's questions to Sandi on how she was doing with, well, you know…

JANE: Those sessions with her "shrink"? (Nods:) Yeah, I admit I was rather curious, too. It's not as if Sandi's announcing how she's doing to the world…

DARIA: Would _you_? In fact, Quinn's said that as far as the rest of the school's concerned, they _don't_ know about her little secret trips, not even Ms. Li.

JANE: (Frowns, realizes:) Hold it. I seemed to recall that our fellow students suspected that Sandi _was_ seeing someone, right--? (Daria shows a quick nod) For a day or two, even Sandi was unpopular with the male horde, here. (Hesitates, adds:) I, uh, even felt a little sorry for her. (Daria says nothing. Jane narrows eyes, looks off:) That suddenly passed away completely a few days later because they were around her again in the hallways. (Pauses:) I wonder why…?

DARIA: One name: Quinn. I'd asked her if she knew what the deal was. She said Sandi's brothers admitted being responsible for blabbing it out because they were pissed that Sandi wasn't "totally" their sister.

JANE: (Frowns, stunned:) You have _got _to be kidding me.

DARIA: Nope. Anyway, Quinn said that she had "addressed" the problem, and that Sandi's sibs were gonna recant their story. (As she stares at Sandi and the others talking to Darren:) I suspect Quinn used her usual feminine charms on Sandi's younger brothers to change their minds.

JANE: (Staring as well at Sandi:) Yeah. Quinn _does _have that gift, doesn't she? (Pauses, slightly uncomfortable look as Sandi chuckles at Darren with the others:) Uh, Daria, I'm really, really, _really _okay with Darren's concerns about Sandi over what happened that night in the warehouse, but do you _really_ think Sandi's over Darren--

DARIA: (Slight frown as she continues her own stare, interrupts:) –_No. _(Jane turns to her, surprised. Daria looks back:) She told you that herself on our way up to Darren's, remember? Sandi knows that Darren will only see her as a casual acquaintance, though, maybe even as a friend, and that's all, nothing more. I'm pretty sure of that. (Hesitates:) Uh, in a way, that sorta _impressed_ me that she'd accept him like that, similar to that night when she put your hand on Darren's in that warehouse... (Jane grins. Daria frowns, mock-warning tone:) Shut the hell up, Jane…

JANE: (Keeps her now-wider grin, gentle tone:) _Relax,_ amiga, I'm not gonna tease you about "softening up" on Sandi, really. You didn't with me when I felt sorry for her. (Sighs as she eyes Sandi again:) I just wish I could say the same about you-know-who not wanting Darren…

DARIA: (After a moment, in what she hopes to be an encouraging tone:) Krystal will slip up, Jane, no matter how much she claims to like Trent just to piss you off. Darren has eyes only for you, so keep that in mind. Otherwise, outside of the "Sty Lark" thing that we _will _prove, the only way they'll break up after her seeing Darren's still with you is that Krystal will--drop—(Pauses, catches herself, winces:) dammit. Insert foot in mouth, now…

JANE: (Smirks:) Go on, you _know _you wanna say it, Daria. (Daria forms a tiny, pained expression) That she'll eventually get tired of my brother, and of his (finger quote:) "ways", thus hurting him in the process.

DARIA: (Looks off, uncomfortable:) Well, since you've done the dirty work for me, I'll just leave my grateful tip, and walk off, now… (starts to leave)

JANE: (Small chuckle, puts her hand on Daria's shoulder, stops her:) Not so fast, amiga. (Daria turns back. Jane removes her hand) We're stuck together on this, so where you go, _I _go. Don't worry. I'm not angry at you for helping me to point out Trent's shortcomings. I knew them long before I met you, anyway. (Daria appears to look relieved) I know, though, that he cares for me, and I care for him, and we're there for each other. That's why I'm trying to be here for him. (Slumps, sighs at the irony:) Thing is, though, Krystal's actually having a _positive_ effect on him.

DARIA: (Stunned, deadpan:) Stop lying to me, Jane. (Jane grins) I could see the Lane housecleaning yesterday, since I actually _did _see it, but now, you're starting to freak me out.

JANE: (Rolls eyes playfully:) Then you're gonna absolutely have a conniption after I tell you the things she's got him doing now. (Pauses for effect:) She's going to have him get rid of his prized blue clunker today for a newer clunker. (Daria's eyes grow wide in shock) I know Trent's gotten a pretty good stash saved up from the group's little summer tour, but still, he'd need a miracle to work out a reasonable deal for Happy Herb to give him something in return.

DARIA: (Closes her eyes, shakes her head slowly:) This is _not _happening. (Pauses:) Trent's really going to get rid of his Plymouth? (Adds:) Seriously?

JANE: (Nods quickly, then suddenly snorts:) Oops. Silly me. He _wishes_ he could get rid of it I'm sure he'll still have it when I return home. (Grins evilly:) I hope on their way back from being turned down by Happy Herb that Krystal will have to push it back to the house, like Monique's had to do on occasion.

DARIA: (Small smile, not Mona Lisa:) This thing we know as "hope" supposedly springs eternal, so it could happen. (Jane chuckles) What other things have Krystal mesmerized Trent into doing?

JANE: (Glances at watch:) Hm. I'd tell you right now, but the day lasts only 24 hours. Seriously, I'll spring the rest on you later. We gotta fill in our spare time in and around classes while your brother's castigating Li.

DARIA: All too true, I suppose. (Pauses:) I'm curious, Jane. (Pauses:) Um, why did you allow Quinn to sit up front with Darren? (Glances off briefly, uncomfortable expression:) I'd figure that you'd want to—well…

JANE: (Pauses:) To be honest, other than deferring to her when she literally was hugging the front passenger door after we ran out of your home, I think it was to let your sister spend some personal time with Darren. I don't mind sharing him with you guys on occasion while he visits here, (Adds in a quieter tone:) and that goes for your folks, too. I have plenty of him when _I _visit him by myself, you know. (Small smile:) You gotta catch up on those missing 20 years somehow, right?

DARIA: (Stunned expression, clearly touched, for Daria:) Jane--? I—well, you don't have to do—(Pauses, glances off, frowns, low tone:) dammit…

JANE: (Grins:) Wow. Daria Morgendorffer, tongue-tied _and _emotional. Who'd have thunk it? (Daria glares. Jane smiles, undeterred, shrugs:) Hey, if you want, I'll let _you_ ride up front when we leave school today, you know, so you guys can converse.

DARIA: (Quickly recovers from her shock, small smirk:) Funny. I'll admit you caught me off-guard, there, Jane. Nice joke.

JANE: (Smirks back for a brief instant, adds:) Oh, I'm sorry, Daria. Did I _sound _as if I were joking?

Daria turned to Jane with a surprised look as Darren, who was putting what appeared to be a small slip of paper into his shirt pocket, came over with Quinn and the others.

DARREN: Thanks again for your dad's number, Sandi. (Daria and Jane glance at each other, then at Sandi)

SANDI: (Shrugs, glances at Jane and Daria, in her usual cool tone:) Like, it's no problem, Darren. I'm sure my father will eagerly accept your offer. He's complained about business being kind of down where he works, anyway.

JANE: (Inquisitive look with Daria, cocks an eyebrow:) "Offer"--? Ah, what's up--?

Darren was about to answer when Brittany and her fellow cheerleaders suddenly appeared from behind the building that led to the parking lot, drawing the group's attention. They were dressed as usual in their familiar pep uniforms, holding pom-poms.

Brittany spotted them as well, showed a brief, dreamy expression when she eyed Darren, quickly shook it off, and turned to the other cheerleaders, who were now also eyeing Darren dreamily.

Jane couldn't help but to show an amused (but also smug) smile at the girls ogling her boyfriend, whereas Daria merely rolled her eyes in disdain. Quinn frowned, confused with the rest of the Fashion Club. Darren simply cocked an inquisitive eyebrow.

QUINN: Hey, what's going on?

DARIA: (Now smirks with Jane, feigns ignorance:) Beats the hell out of me, sis. Let's wait and see.

BRITTANY: (Points via her right pom-pom:) Okay, girls, there he is, like Daria said! Let's give him our rousing welcome cheer! (Heads toward them)

GIRL: (Shakes out of her Darren-inspired reverie. It's Angie, in case you're interested:) Huh? Oh, yeah, Brittany, okay! C'mon, girls! (The others also shake out of their own Darren-inspired reveries, follow her over. Several students notice, and decide to follow)

Brittany and her fellow cheerleaders stopped in front of them, and began to wave their pom-poms while cheering and high-stepping in remarkably precise movements:

_Darren! Darren! _

_He's our man!_

_If he can't give us mon-ey,_

_No one can!_

_Mon-ey! Mon-ey!_

_Mon-ey, mon-ey!_

_Yaaaaay, Darren!_

_Woo! Wooo!_

The cheerleaders finished their chant, stopped, and stared expectantly (And dreamily yet again) at Darren, waiting eagerly for a response, whereas Daria and Jane silently smirked at each other, and the remaining Fashion Clubbers merely stared, baffled, first at each other, then at the cheerleaders, and finally at Darren. After a moment, a tongue-tied and confused Darren realized he should say something. Before he could, however, Quinn beat him to the punch while glaring at her sister.

QUINN: Oh, _I_ see, Daria! You put Brittany up to this because of what I teased you and Jane about yesterday, huh? You called her this morning, and asked her to do this, didn't you?

BRITTANY: (Looks at her fellow cheerleaders, and vice-versa:) Huh? I don't get it!

DARREN: (Confused like Sandi and Tiffany, glances at his sisters, and at a grinning Jane:) That makes several of us...

DARIA: (Mona Lisa smile:) Sorry, Quinn, but the cheer was indeed all Brittany's idea. Right, Brittany?

BRITTANY: (Nods, enthused, grins:) Uh-huh! I told Daria and Jane about it yesterday after school!

JANE: (Smirks:) See? You're _quite_ the psychic chick, Quinn.

QUINN: (Shudders as Sandi and Tiffany look at her:) Ugh! It was all just a coincidence, honest, guys! I don't look in crystal balls, and stuff--(Adds:) unless it's to look at my reflection, or something. Only those old, ugly, Gypsies with those huge, unfashionable earrings do that!

SANDI: (Actually catches onto the duo's teasing, shows a tiny smirk to Jane, who eyes her back:) If you, like, _say_ so, Quinn… (Jane returns the smirk)

DARIA: (Deadpan:) Good of you to straighten _that _out, sis. I admit that I sort of fibbed a little about the science assignment this morning. I just called Brittany to prepare her and her preppy cohorts for Darren's early arrival.

JANE: (Smiles, hooks her arm with Darren's, in her mock-motherly tone:) And what are we supposed to say when someone does something really nice for us without wanting something in return, "Darry"?

DARREN: (Returns the smile, uneasy shrug:) Ah, "sucker"--? (Jane chuckles while Daria smirks) Seriously, Brittany, everyone, er, thanks for the, uh, "welcome"?

BRITTANY: (Resumes her dreamy look with the other cheerleaders, brief, girlish giggle and dreamy tone:) It was our _pleasure_, Darren... (Jane tries not to laugh. Darren looks off, a little red-faced, and uncomfortable)

At the same instant, Ms. Li, speaking on her cell phone, exited the front doors of the school, and stopped after a few steps.

MS. LI: (Scowls:) _Iiiiiii _don't care what you thought of my policies, Mr. Breeck! I was completely within my rights as _youuur_ superior in stopping you from openly asking your students about what they thought of historic dictatorships in the world, which you reportedly then compared to _my_ efficient running of this school! (Pauses, sneers:) Oh, so it _wasn't_ like that, you say? Well, take it up with my lawyer, if you wish! You'll lose! In the meantime, perhaps your "temporary vacation" will clear your mind of such, shall we say, impure thoughts! Goodbye!

Ms. Li quickly clicked off her phone, and happened to glance off in the direction of the parking lot. She noticed a crowd of students, and narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

MS. LI: And what's _this?_ Students gathering in the school's parking lot? Trouble brewing, perhaps? We'll see about _that!_ (Storms off in that direction)

Brittany once again shook out of her Darren-inspired reverie, and then suddenly scowled.

BRITTANY: Hey! I almost forgot, Darren! You _owe_ me! (Daria and Jane glance at each other tensely, showing surprised looks also)

DARREN: (Cocks an eyebrow, glances at Daria and Jane, perplexed expression:) Pardon me? "Owe" you--? I--don't understand...

DARIA: (Cuts in, beginning to dread what Brittany's leading up to:) Um, Brittany, maybe this can wait until--

BRITTANY: (Nods her head rapidly, interrupts, puts her hands on her hips:) --Uh-huh! "Owe" me! Thanks to _you_, my poor Kevie's going to be out of school today, and he probably won't be able to go to my party, which is gonna be tomorrow night by the way, either! I don't care _what _he signed on that paper, _I _didn't, and I want recomprehension, or something! (Quinn and the others look at each other, confused, like Darren. Brittany narrows her eyes at him:) I'll need a date to replace him, and I thought--

JANE: (Alarmed, quickly interjects as she literally puts an iron grip on Darren's free arm. Darren winces briefly, cocks an eyebrow at her:) --Uh, Brittany, Darren _will_ be there with me, Daria, "Tim", and the rest of the Lawndale teen universe, _right_, Darren? (Gives him a pointed look. Daria cocks an eyebrow in surprise)

DARREN: (Gives Jane an odd look for a moment:) We _will?_ (Jane squeezes his arm again, so Darren winces again:) Ah! Uhhh, _riiight--_I'll--be there, (adds, glances at Jane oddly again:) I _guess_...

BRITTANY: (Giggles, delighted, claps her hands:) Oh, _goody!_ (Turns to her preppy cohorts, grins:) And we'll _all_ be wanting to dance with you, too, right, girls? (Jane suddenly turns pale. Daria sighs)

GIRLS: (Giggling and grinning as they eye Darren and nod:) Yeah! That's right! Make sure you play some slow-dancing CD's, too! (Darren gives Jane a look that screams, "What in the **world** have you gotten me into?")

JANE: (Ignores Darren's expression for the moment, narrows eyes, pointed tone:) And then we'll be _even_, right, Brittany?

BRITTANY: (Pauses, takes note of Jane's tone:) Ummmm, sure, Jane! (Holds hand up:) Even Steven!

JANE: (Through clenched teeth, looks off:) _Fine…_

Before anyone (particularly Quinn and Darren) could say another word, Ms. Li forced her way through the small crowd.

MS. LI: (In an admonishing tone:) _Whaaaat_ is going on here, students? You _knooow_ I don't condone any—(Pauses in shock as she sees Darren, gasps:) _Mr. Appleton?_ You're here already?

DARREN: (Slight smirk, switches his computer notebook to his other hand after releasing Jane, holds out his free right hand:) Yes, and you must be Ms. Li, the school principal. Please, call me "Darren". I decided to come in a little earlier to get our, (Pauses, looks for the right word:) "transaction" out of the way. I hope that's not a problem.

MS. LI: (Recovers quickly, smiles, shakes his hand:) Oh, of _coooourse_ not! (Adds, almost falling all over herself:) And please, call _me_ "Angela". (Snorts, actually delighted) Oh, this is _so_ exciting!

DARIA: (Thought v.o., disgusted look with Jane, deadpan: And call **me** "ill" from listening to Li's sucking up to Darren. I'd swear that if he bent over right now, she'd probably be kissing his ass--Pauses: along with Brittany and the rest of her Bimbo Brigade, who I'm sure wouldn't stop there...)

DARREN: (Slight, unconfortable smile:) Uh, sure. I first need to make a quick, personal phone call, then I'll meet you in your office in a few minutes, all right?

MS. LI: (Grinning like crazy:) But of course, Mr. Ap--Darren! Take your time! (Suddenly turns serious, waves to students:) _Leeeet's_ disperse, everyone! Classes will be starting in a few minutes! Run along, now! (Some students begin to turn away, the same for Ms. Li)

QUINN: (Steps up, concerned look:) But, Ms. Li! (Ms. Li stops, turns) What about the flowers and the welcome banner? (Darren's mouth flattens in seriousness as he eyes Li, which Daria and Jane notice) We wanted to show my brother!

SANDI: (Ditto, with Tiffany:) Yes, like, we worked quite hard on that!

TIFFANY: Yeah...it took...time...to get...the right...yellow and blue...to match...the hallways...

DARIA: (Deadpan:) Time which was well-spent, obviously. Those hallways are vitally important, as we all well know. (Quinn, for once, catches her sarcasm, frowns. Jane tries not to snicker with Darren)

SANDI: (Curt nod in agreement, totally missing the sarcasm:) Daria is quite correct, Ms. Li. Surely, Darren should see the end results of our labor!

DARREN: (Before Ms. Li can speak, smiles Or tries not to laugh, take your pick:) It's okay, Quinn, everyone. I'll have plenty of time between classes to see them both after I speak to Ms. Li, I promise.

MS. LI: (Slaps hands together:) Well! If that's all, I'm going to clear my schedule, and prepare my office--

JANE: (Smirks, very low tone to Daria:) --She means "interrogation room"--

MS. LI: --for your arrival! I'll see you in a few minutes, Darren! (Leaves in a giddy manner)

QUINN: (Turns to Sandi and Tiffany:) Um, you guys go on ahead, okay? (Narrows eyes:) I need to speak to Daria and Jane.

SANDI: (Pauses, glances between them all:) Uh, very well, Quinn. We'll, like, save a spot for you at the restroom mirror. Come on, Tiffany... (she and Tiffany leave)

Quinn watched her friends leave, then turned to her siblings and Jane.

QUINN: (Cocks an eyebrow:) What was _that_ all about with Brittany? What's going on?

DARREN: (As he dubiously eyes at Daria and Jane:) Just what _I _was thinking...

JANE: (Gives Darren her best "puppy-dog" look as she begins to back off:) Uh, look, guys, we promise to you that we _will _reveal all later--

DARIA: (Steals a curious look at Jane, but takes it up:) --But, um, Jane and I really should go in and prepare for our teacher's usual attempts at mind-wiping us today... (begins to leave with Jane)

QUINN: (Frowns, holds arms out:) But--

JOEY: (Suddenly arriving from the side with his fellow J-sters, grinning like an idiot:) Hi, Quinn! (Quickly adds:) Uh, hi, Darren! (Both Daria and Jane stop, watch for an instant)

JEFFREY: Hey, Quinn! (Ditto:) Hey, Darren!

JAMIE: (Yes, on both:) Hey, Quinn and Darren!

QUINN: (Distracted:) Huh? (Smiles:) Oh, _hiiii_, guys!

DARREN: (Narrows eyes, pauses:) Uhh, hello, "Joey", "Jeffrey", _annnnnd_ "Jenkins", right?

JAMIE: (Heartbroken expression:) Nooo! It's "Jamie", Darren! "Jamie"!

DARREN: (Slowly grins. Inside, he **knows** it's "Jamie":) Sorry, Jamie, just kidding you.

JAMIE: (Quickly recovers, grins:) Oh! I knew that!

QUINN: (With her feminine ego meter running high:) So, what's going on, guys--? (The Three J's immediately blabber flattering gibberish at the same time to her. Darren appears amused at the three's antics, crosses his arms, shakes his head)

Daria and Jane, forgotten, and for once grateful to the Three J's for their timely arrival, resumed their departure.

However, while walking with Daria, Jane began to warily eye Brittany and the other cheerleaders, who were ogling Darren dreamily once more as they were about to walk in the school, giggling and talking amongst themselves.

After a moment, Jane developed a wicked smirk, then wordlessly sauntered back toward Darren, leaving Daria, who stopped, dropped a curious eyebrow, and watched. She then noticed Brittany and the other cheerleader's dreamy expressions, and immediately surmised what Jane was planning.

JANE: (Keeping her smirk, brushes by them all, breaks in:) 'Scuse me, guys. I forgot to give my boyfriend a little something before I left. (Suddenly pulls Darren down to her, and gives him a **very** deep kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck. The Three J's stare at the scene, wide-eyed with several more students watching nearby as well, along with Quinn. Daria simply stares with her "expressionless expression", while Brittany and her friends jealously frown at the scene for a moment, then wordlessly storm into the school)

Ten seconds later, Jane allowed Darren to come up for air, and wordlessly turned away from them all to return to Daria, leaving Darren in an apparent swoon. Quinn merely rolled her eyes and crossed her arms at Jane's impertinence over suddenly kissing her brother, while the Three J's continued to stare in awe between the retreating Jane and Darren, their mouths now dropped in shock. Quinn then glanced at her swooning brother, sighed, then walked up to him, and began rapidly snapping her fingers in his face, shaking him out of his reverie. Darren stared down at his sister for an instant, and then at the back of his girlfriend, forming a wry smirk of appreciation.

Jane walked over to Daria, and the two resumed walking towards the school. Other students wordlessly watched them, mumbling amongst themselves.

DARIA: (In a low voice:) Let me confirm--you were marking your territory?

JANE: (Grins, ditto with her voice:) Damn straight, amiga, (Adds, shrugs:) although I didn't exactly lift my leg while doing it--

DARIA: (Smirks:) --Don't you mean "squat" in _our _case?

JANE: (Returns smirk:) I stand corrected. Anyway, I wanted to drive home the point to Brittany and her friends that Darren's _my_ boy. They may get him for a few hours at her party for a dance or two, but that's _all_ they'll get.

DARIA: Speaking of "getting", why'd you let Brittany sink her claws into getting my brother for that party? You could've told her to take a hike, you know.

JANE: (As they walk inside:) _Could _I, Daria? Think about it. Imagine Brittany bitching and moaning all day over how her "Kevie" was somehow "shortchanged" by Darren, and demanding her "recomprehension" fee. Take the way most of our fellow students are brain wise, her popularity, and before you know it, she'd have _them_ riding us as well.

DARIA: (Slight nod:) Points taken. I think we underestimated Brittany's determination, in addition to her brain. It's a tad more functional than Kevin's in comparison.

JANE: All too true. It's like comparing a worm's brain to an amoeba's. (Pauses, sighs:) Ah, well. Besides, like I said, it's only for a few hours, and we'll be there as well to enjoy the party, and to insure no hanky-panky on Brittany and her friends' parts with Darren.

DARIA: (Pauses, cocks an eyebrow:) Um, what's this "we" stuff?

JANE: (Raised eyebrows:) Huh? What do you mean? (Smiles:) You, me, Darren, and that "Tim" guy you're going with. (Daria gives a droll look) What's the problem?

DARIA: Well, if you'll remember, I never said _outright_ that I'd go when Brittany made that offer yesterday, only that it was up to Darren, and I certainly can't speak for Tim--(slight scowl:) I mean, _Tom_. He might be busy doing something else, or for that matter, _we_ might be on our own that night, or I'll just stay at home if he is. (Slight smirk:) Looks as if you'll have to work overtime to keep my poor brother out of those vixen's hands, but that shouldn't be a problem, should it, since you said you didn't mind sharing Darren--? (Jane narrows an eye at her. Daria's smirk grows a bit wider, adds:) Hey, maybe Quinn'll help you out, since she'll probably go to it. You could get her to dance some with Darren.

Both stopped in front of Daria's locker. Daria unlocked and opened it to place some of her books in from her bookbag. Jane leaned against the locker beside Daria's, and crossed her arms, forming a slight, wry, smirk.

JANE: You know, when I think about it, most of this is _your_ fault, amiga.

DARIA: (Surprised look:) Excuse me? How is it mostly _my _fault? (Shuts her locker and locks it)

JANE: _You _were the one who came up with the "invisibility" joke about Darren to Kevin and Brittany in the Pizza King, starting Kevin's obsession with it. _You _were the one who yesterday made up the story about Darren coming up with a final experimental "invisibility formula"--

DARIA: (Interrupts:) --Which, if I recall, _you_ went along with--

JANE: (Ditto:) --True, hence _my_ tiny share of the blame, which I accept wholeheartedly, since I said it was "mostly" your fault, but when I compare it to _your_ share--

DARIA: (Sighs, concedes, places her forehead on the locker:) --Okay, okay, _fine_. (Pauses:) You're right. I _suppose_ I should come with you tomorrow night, huh?

JANE: (Grins. She and Daria begin walking:) No "supposin' " about it. We'll both suffer, along with Darren, and maybe "Tim", if, like you said, he has nothing to do.

DARIA: Misery loves company. (Pauses, mild, miserable expression:) And it'll be a company of misery, I think, at that party for me.

JANE: (Chuckles:) Cheer up, Daria, it'll be fun. It's not as if you haven't been at Brittany's for a party before, and you can get in some practice for next year's festivities in college.

DARIA: (Deadpan:) I'd rather practice _that_ next year, thank you very much, preferably at the last second. Cramming _is_ a tried and true time-tested approach to anything to do with college, or so I've heard... (both walk into Mr. O'Neill's classroom)


End file.
